How's my wife's new red chair doing?
How's my wife's new red chair doing?
Author
Discussion

Telecaster

Original Poster:

75 posts

238 months

Tuesday 3rd September 2013
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Just in case the parasitical cretin with veins full of chav saliva happens to read this, I'm wondering how comfortable you're finding the new padded red chair that you felt fit to steal from under our gazeebo in Maison Blanche this year? My wife treated herself to it at considerable cost in readiness for our family camping holiday after Le Mans this year - and as a gesture of kindness offered it to me to use for my weekend at the 24hrs.

If you're reading this, you'll know who you are - and I'd like you to know that I hope an abundance of financial misfortune befalls you throughout your life and that you contract every sexually transmitted disease known to mankind. May all potential employers sense your criminal tendancies and give you a very wide berth - and if you're married, I hope your unfortunate wife realises what a complete low-life she's married to and leaves you (with a stack of debts) for a decent bloke. Hopefully you will develop the most incurable foul smelling breath before your search for a new partner begins - and perhaps your hair will fall out too, if it hasn't already.

Enjoy life with the chair while you can, you sewer rat....and if you don't like what your reading, please do give me a call to discuss it. And, most of all......

STAY AWAY FROM LE MANS, it can do without tossers like you.




FraMac

785 posts

246 months

Tuesday 3rd September 2013
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Nicely written, and a shame your wife has been punished for her generosity.

Some of our Maison Blanche neighbours had kit go walkies too - flags and stuff of not much commercial value, but a real ball ache to lose when you're in a field in french France.

Hoping you've more luck next year - do knock on for a beer, we'll be in MB again.

chrisemersons

143 posts

172 months

Tuesday 3rd September 2013
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Brilliant ! but its a chair get a grip !

Come on, who takes their best furniture to LM, dry your eyes we'll have a pistonheads whip round to get you a new one for next year haha.


surveyor

18,689 posts

213 months

Tuesday 3rd September 2013
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I think that is the most deferred rant that I have ever seen...

I assume that his wife has been moaning all summer.

chrisemersons

143 posts

172 months

Tuesday 3rd September 2013
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Classic, it sounds like the ranting of a man that doesn't stand up to his wife and tells her to get a grip 'its a chair' ffs, or 'sorry love i smashed it up i was so ratted' !!

Come to Houx next year and i'll lend you one of ours, ahh but you may be allowed to go again, you chair loser you !!

Whats the expression 'pussy whipped' ?? smash

PD1

149 posts

233 months

Tuesday 3rd September 2013
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Wow. Quick reaction smile

fatboy18

19,553 posts

240 months

Tuesday 3rd September 2013
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Great rant, I'm still hacked off with the tossers that nicked my stars and stripes American chair in 2004 from Camping Houx, Just as well I did not find you as I was walking around the campsite with a Hatchet after a few beers looking for you!

vincegail

2,642 posts

184 months

Wednesday 4th September 2013
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None of my stuff has been stolen (so far) at Le Mans, although a few 'travellers' were roaming the premises last year after the guards at Tertre Rouge had left their posts after the race.
If I were to catch somebody pinching some of my belongings, it won't be their best day. 6-Cell maglite for the win!

And for the people saying don't take your best stuff to Le Mans, better start thinking differently! It's not the fault of the people getting robbed, it's the fault of the robbers!

Squiggs

1,520 posts

184 months

Wednesday 4th September 2013
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10 out of 10 for a well constructed rant with no swearing.
But minus points for only directing the rant at one gender.
The assumption that your nice red chair could only have nicked by a bloke could be wrong.
Women are also capable of nicking stuff eek

vincegail

2,642 posts

184 months

Wednesday 4th September 2013
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Statisticly? At Le Mans? A bloke.

chrisemersons

143 posts

172 months

Wednesday 4th September 2013
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vincegail said:
And for the people saying don't take your best stuff to Le Mans, better start thinking differently! It's not the fault of the people getting robbed, it's the fault of the robbers!
Think differently ? why ?

If you take good stuff and leave it hanging around then some thieving will have it away regardless of where you are, i think insurance companies call it 'insufficient care'.

I had a gas bottle nicked at LM a few years ago - it was own stupid fault i left it out where an opportunist could walk off with it.

eps

7,086 posts

298 months

Wednesday 4th September 2013
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chrisemersons said:
vincegail said:
And for the people saying don't take your best stuff to Le Mans, better start thinking differently! It's not the fault of the people getting robbed, it's the fault of the robbers!
Think differently ? why ?

If you take good stuff and leave it hanging around then some thieving will have it away regardless of where you are, i think insurance companies call it 'insufficient care'.

I had a gas bottle nicked at LM a few years ago - it was own stupid fault i left it out where an opportunist could walk off with it.
Vince means, I think, why should we (the law abiders) be detrimented, by keeping our stuff away from Le Mans, when in actual fact it should be that those who offend should be brought to task. Obviously leaving an expensive item in the open, is likely to be too much of a temptation for some, but that shouldn't be the case. We usually zip things up and keep things covered / away, to stop the casual thief, but as with anything in Life, if someone is determined to get at your possessions, they will find a way.


boolay

1,553 posts

267 months

Wednesday 4th September 2013
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I think I've found him...


chrisemersons

143 posts

172 months

Wednesday 4th September 2013
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eps said:
Vince means, I think, why should we (the law abiders) be detrimented, by keeping our stuff away from Le Mans, when in actual fact it should be that those who offend should be brought to task. Obviously leaving an expensive item in the open, is likely to be too much of a temptation for some, but that shouldn't be the case. We usually zip things up and keep things covered / away, to stop the casual thief, but as with anything in Life, if someone is determined to get at your possessions, they will find a way.
Yeah i guess so but some people are a bit niave, its not eurocamp afterall we all know that the world is full of scumbags so dont give them the opportunity - like you say we keep everything zipped up or locked away in the car. It never ceases to amaze me the people that whine because they had their wallet nicked and then it turns out that they left it in their tent unattended.
As they say today 'epic fail' !!

vincegail

2,642 posts

184 months

Wednesday 4th September 2013
quotequote all
chrisemersons said:
eps said:
Vince means, I think, why should we (the law abiders) be detrimented, by keeping our stuff away from Le Mans, when in actual fact it should be that those who offend should be brought to task. Obviously leaving an expensive item in the open, is likely to be too much of a temptation for some, but that shouldn't be the case. We usually zip things up and keep things covered / away, to stop the casual thief, but as with anything in Life, if someone is determined to get at your possessions, they will find a way.
Yeah i guess so but some people are a bit niave, its not eurocamp afterall we all know that the world is full of scumbags so dont give them the opportunity - like you say we keep everything zipped up or locked away in the car. It never ceases to amaze me the people that whine because they had their wallet nicked and then it turns out that they left it in their tent unattended.
As they say today 'epic fail' !!
Yes eps worded it better than I did. My valuables always get locked away in the car. But my gasbottle stays attached to the campingstove. My fridge stays plugged in all the time. I don't want to have to lock them away all the time or drink warm beer because of the fear of getting them stolen.

MartinixxxLB

45 posts

166 months

Wednesday 4th September 2013
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I am very fortunate to not have anything stolen in the years that I have been going, what really annoys me is the fact that some morons can do this and get away with it. I do, however, think that it is not all down to visitors and maybe a little bit of jealousy or pure drunken bravado or foolishness. We all change a bit when we have had a few beers.

I will add to this though... IF YOU ARE A THIEF, KEEP AWAY FROM MY STUFF - I WILL GET EVEN... AND MORE.

>MartinixxxLB

fatboy18

19,553 posts

240 months

Wednesday 4th September 2013
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I'm pretty sure Jealously plays a BIG part.

Telecaster

Original Poster:

75 posts

238 months

Wednesday 16th October 2013
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Excellent! Brightened my day up. Some great responses chaps....but I still haven't got the chair back.
boolay said:
I think I've found him...