Are you easily influenced when buying a car?
Discussion
Hi all,
I'm probably about the get ripped to shreds for this but here is goes!
So I've been toying with the idea of a new car for a while. Settled on a Diesel hatchback focus st diesel which ticks alot of boxes for me, something that i can use every day and does not take up all of my savings (although about 75%).
Now I mention it to my long term partner and i can tell she's not keen on the idea...(thinks st's are a bit gary boy!) and get the impression she thinks the money can be better spent..eg wedding next year..house bits..and get a cheaper car or make do with a runaround.
Now like many i work hard, and i just quite fancy treating myself to something thats going to last me a good few years. Is it selfish to not take into account others opinions - considering its a long term partner and we're planning wedding...kids...settling down etc..
I imagine will get some responses like 'no women will tell me what to do, otherwise shed be out the door' ....she hasn't said in such words she thinks its a bad idea but I can tell she thinks the money would be better spent elsewhere.
The joys of growing up i guess! Would be keen to hear others thoughts
I'm probably about the get ripped to shreds for this but here is goes!
So I've been toying with the idea of a new car for a while. Settled on a Diesel hatchback focus st diesel which ticks alot of boxes for me, something that i can use every day and does not take up all of my savings (although about 75%).
Now I mention it to my long term partner and i can tell she's not keen on the idea...(thinks st's are a bit gary boy!) and get the impression she thinks the money can be better spent..eg wedding next year..house bits..and get a cheaper car or make do with a runaround.
Now like many i work hard, and i just quite fancy treating myself to something thats going to last me a good few years. Is it selfish to not take into account others opinions - considering its a long term partner and we're planning wedding...kids...settling down etc..
I imagine will get some responses like 'no women will tell me what to do, otherwise shed be out the door' ....she hasn't said in such words she thinks its a bad idea but I can tell she thinks the money would be better spent elsewhere.
The joys of growing up i guess! Would be keen to hear others thoughts
Depends, is it your money or joint money?
We have joint money where we make joint decisions, we have our own money where we do what we want.
If you want to treat yourself to a nice car, why not comprise and go 50/50 (car & wedding / house), or buy something (not a diesel focus!) that is a decent drive as well as being relatively depreciation proof (Lotus Elise, etc).
We have joint money where we make joint decisions, we have our own money where we do what we want.
If you want to treat yourself to a nice car, why not comprise and go 50/50 (car & wedding / house), or buy something (not a diesel focus!) that is a decent drive as well as being relatively depreciation proof (Lotus Elise, etc).
Half my life is spent researching my next car and the other half is spent persuading my wife it’s a good idea. Yes, it’s my money but as you allude to, as a couple it’s still a joint decision. I just plant the seed and then build it up over a month or two, then find the spec car I want and by that point she seems to think she agreed to the whole idea!
There is always something better to spend the money on than cars but if you love it then you’ll find a way to make her think it makes sense!
There is always something better to spend the money on than cars but if you love it then you’ll find a way to make her think it makes sense!
Thanks guys, money is mine we don't do the whole shared account yet..but imagine once we're married we will.
see i'm a massive overthinker and find it hard to make a decision. I then decide...but then concerned by the reaction i get. Some good points though and things to think about. so thanks for taking the time to reply. The car will be my only vehicle so it will be used for work / quite a few miles. Makes more sense and justifiable than say a weekend car thats just going to sit on the drive all week..it just stems to price and whether i look at cheaper options
see i'm a massive overthinker and find it hard to make a decision. I then decide...but then concerned by the reaction i get. Some good points though and things to think about. so thanks for taking the time to reply. The car will be my only vehicle so it will be used for work / quite a few miles. Makes more sense and justifiable than say a weekend car thats just going to sit on the drive all week..it just stems to price and whether i look at cheaper options
As someone who is married with small child and joint finances I say you should buy the car you want as long as you can afford it. It's not like you're looking to buy something outrageous or totally impractical, it's a Focus ST diesel. She should consider herself lucky that you're happy to go with a sensible, quick hatch which will be fairly cheap to run and completely practical for whatever comes in the future.
I've always had the cars I want, and like you, I'm happy with something that also ticks practicality boxes and doesn't cost the Earth to run. My wife isn't interested in cars so she drives the boring MPV which does our family duties. I have a Fiesta ST3 and don't really care what anyone else thinks about it!
I've always had the cars I want, and like you, I'm happy with something that also ticks practicality boxes and doesn't cost the Earth to run. My wife isn't interested in cars so she drives the boring MPV which does our family duties. I have a Fiesta ST3 and don't really care what anyone else thinks about it!
RS93 said:
Hi all,
I'm probably about the get ripped to shreds for this but here is goes!
So I've been toying with the idea of a new car for a while. Settled on a Diesel hatchback focus st diesel which ticks alot of boxes for me, something that i can use every day and does not take up all of my savings (although about 75%).
Now I mention it to my long term partner and i can tell she's not keen on the idea...(thinks st's are a bit gary boy!) and get the impression she thinks the money can be better spent..eg wedding next year..house bits..and get a cheaper car or make do with a runaround.
Now like many i work hard, and i just quite fancy treating myself to something thats going to last me a good few years. Is it selfish to not take into account others opinions - considering its a long term partner and we're planning wedding...kids...settling down etc..
I imagine will get some responses like 'no women will tell me what to do, otherwise shed be out the door' ....she hasn't said in such words she thinks its a bad idea but I can tell she thinks the money would be better spent elsewhere.
The joys of growing up i guess! Would be keen to hear others thoughts
I'm not going to tear you to shreds as you seem really sensible asking for opinions.I'm probably about the get ripped to shreds for this but here is goes!
So I've been toying with the idea of a new car for a while. Settled on a Diesel hatchback focus st diesel which ticks alot of boxes for me, something that i can use every day and does not take up all of my savings (although about 75%).
Now I mention it to my long term partner and i can tell she's not keen on the idea...(thinks st's are a bit gary boy!) and get the impression she thinks the money can be better spent..eg wedding next year..house bits..and get a cheaper car or make do with a runaround.
Now like many i work hard, and i just quite fancy treating myself to something thats going to last me a good few years. Is it selfish to not take into account others opinions - considering its a long term partner and we're planning wedding...kids...settling down etc..
I imagine will get some responses like 'no women will tell me what to do, otherwise shed be out the door' ....she hasn't said in such words she thinks its a bad idea but I can tell she thinks the money would be better spent elsewhere.
The joys of growing up i guess! Would be keen to hear others thoughts
If it was a girlfriend then I'd say go for it if it's what you really want, but in this case I'd definitely be considering the opinion of a long-term partner who you are planning a wedding, kids, possibly purchasing a home etc.
Judging by the 75% of your savings figure, I'd be inclined to agree with her that the money could probably be used better elsewhere, and that it's possibly a bad idea.
If you don't absolutely need a new car at the moment, then maybe you could exclude your current savings and put some money aside from now to budget for the one you want.
Get yourself the car you want, but it'd have to be a smaller percentage of your savings especially given what's coming up. That seems like a good comprimise imo.
If the percentage of savings was much lower I'd say go for it.
bluezedd said:
I'm not going to tear you to shreds as you seem really sensible asking for opinions.
If it was a girlfriend then I'd say go for it if it's what you really want, but in this case I'd definitely be considering the opinion of a long-term partner who you are planning a wedding, kids, possibly purchasing a home etc.
Judging by the 75% of your savings figure, I'd be inclined to agree with her that the money could probably be used better elsewhere, and that it's possibly a bad idea.
If you don't absolutely need a new car at the moment, then maybe you could exclude your current savings and put some money aside from now to budget for the one you want.
Get yourself the car you want, but it'd have to be a smaller percentage of your savings especially given what's coming up. That seems like a good comprimise imo.
If the percentage of savings was much lower I'd say go for it.
This has to be one of the most well reasoned and balanced replies I’ve ever seen on PH. For once, good advice, certainly more sensible than mine! If it was a girlfriend then I'd say go for it if it's what you really want, but in this case I'd definitely be considering the opinion of a long-term partner who you are planning a wedding, kids, possibly purchasing a home etc.
Judging by the 75% of your savings figure, I'd be inclined to agree with her that the money could probably be used better elsewhere, and that it's possibly a bad idea.
If you don't absolutely need a new car at the moment, then maybe you could exclude your current savings and put some money aside from now to budget for the one you want.
Get yourself the car you want, but it'd have to be a smaller percentage of your savings especially given what's coming up. That seems like a good comprimise imo.
If the percentage of savings was much lower I'd say go for it.
bluezedd said:
I'm not going to tear you to shreds as you seem really sensible asking for opinions.
If it was a girlfriend then I'd say go for it if it's what you really want, but in this case I'd definitely be considering the opinion of a long-term partner who you are planning a wedding, kids, possibly purchasing a home etc.
Judging by the 75% of your savings figure, I'd be inclined to agree with her that the money could probably be used better elsewhere, and that it's possibly a bad idea.
If you don't absolutely need a new car at the moment, then maybe you could exclude your current savings and put some money aside from now to budget for the one you want.
Get yourself the car you want, but it'd have to be a smaller percentage of your savings especially given what's coming up. That seems like a good comprimise imo.
If the percentage of savings was much lower I'd say go for it.
Very good advice which i really appreciate so thanks for taking the time to reply and same for others who have commented. I think it would be sensible to consider cheaper options and am sure will find something nice. Then allowing money for other things that life brings. Thanks againIf it was a girlfriend then I'd say go for it if it's what you really want, but in this case I'd definitely be considering the opinion of a long-term partner who you are planning a wedding, kids, possibly purchasing a home etc.
Judging by the 75% of your savings figure, I'd be inclined to agree with her that the money could probably be used better elsewhere, and that it's possibly a bad idea.
If you don't absolutely need a new car at the moment, then maybe you could exclude your current savings and put some money aside from now to budget for the one you want.
Get yourself the car you want, but it'd have to be a smaller percentage of your savings especially given what's coming up. That seems like a good comprimise imo.
If the percentage of savings was much lower I'd say go for it.
Honestly my wife has no influence over the cars I buy, she leaves me to it but we have been married over 10 years and together 13 so she is used to me by now.
She knows over everything else I will speak to her about stuff and we make decisions together but cars are my thing and I don't have any other hobbies or interests that I spend money on so where cars are concerned they are my decisions, she knows I won't bankrupt myself over them and that's as far as it goes.
I'd say spending your money on a car rather than a wedding is sensible personally.
She knows over everything else I will speak to her about stuff and we make decisions together but cars are my thing and I don't have any other hobbies or interests that I spend money on so where cars are concerned they are my decisions, she knows I won't bankrupt myself over them and that's as far as it goes.
I'd say spending your money on a car rather than a wedding is sensible personally.
RS93 said:
Thanks guys, money is mine we don't do the whole shared account yet..but imagine once we're married we will.
If you want to save hassle in the long run you need to discuss how you do this now.If you are planning a wedding etc living together, she may already see "your" savings as "joint"savings, and she might see hers the same too.
If she or you is going to take time off workto have kids as well, that makes a difference.
There's no wrong or right way, except for the right way being whaat you agree on.
I know people where both couples work, who just give their partners their wages and have to make their case for a personal purchase - usually it's agreed or even encouraged or suggested by the Banker of the pair.
I know couples who put a bit of their wages in to the joint account, anddo what they like with the rest, this inclused buying holidays for them both etc.
I also know couples who row about money in front of others and never have enough money, they're the ones who don't talk about it in private.
Sorry for not talking about the car, but it's fairly middle of the road with nice bits on.If you buy it, and then you need money for something else, then you won't lose your shirt on it.
Best advice a friend of mine gave me was to spend as much as possible on a car before getting married so the precedent was set. It’s worked out well.
In all seriousness, influence works both ways. In a marriage it seems fair to me to consult and inform on large spend. If you can successfully make the case for the ST, that should endorse the decision. If not, maybe it’s a helpful check on whether it was the right budget/decision in the first place.
In all seriousness, influence works both ways. In a marriage it seems fair to me to consult and inform on large spend. If you can successfully make the case for the ST, that should endorse the decision. If not, maybe it’s a helpful check on whether it was the right budget/decision in the first place.
Obviously we don't know your finances but you haven't said if the wedding next year is already paid for?
I sold my S2000 when the Mrs and I were looking to buy a house as I had no savings so the sale of that became my half of the deposit, she already had her half. I then went and bought a £850 Golf TDI which actually did my quite well, it was dog slow (90bhp) compared to the S2000 but it actually lasted 18 months before I moved it on.
For me it was about priorities, I wanted to get on the housing ladder asap before prices increased and priced us out of what we wanted but I could have just as easily told her I had to save my half of the deposit and delayed things by 18 months.
There is no end of spending money in life, once you have the house, then the wedding and then its kids and they are more expensive than you think. Not just in terms of what they cost to clothe and feed but the reality that you both will be unlikely to be working full time for several years so your income is often down on what it was before, plus you have a child to raise and spend money on.
We finance our cars and save for things like holidays, house maintenance etc as we tend to out them after 3-4 years anyway.
Certainly don't wait until the right time to buy the car you want as financially there rarely is a right time as money needs to be spent elsewhere most of the time but weigh up whether you spending your savings on a car (or most of it) will be detrimental in terms of things like the wedding or a house deposit if those are things you are going to be looking at soon.
I sold my S2000 when the Mrs and I were looking to buy a house as I had no savings so the sale of that became my half of the deposit, she already had her half. I then went and bought a £850 Golf TDI which actually did my quite well, it was dog slow (90bhp) compared to the S2000 but it actually lasted 18 months before I moved it on.
For me it was about priorities, I wanted to get on the housing ladder asap before prices increased and priced us out of what we wanted but I could have just as easily told her I had to save my half of the deposit and delayed things by 18 months.
There is no end of spending money in life, once you have the house, then the wedding and then its kids and they are more expensive than you think. Not just in terms of what they cost to clothe and feed but the reality that you both will be unlikely to be working full time for several years so your income is often down on what it was before, plus you have a child to raise and spend money on.
We finance our cars and save for things like holidays, house maintenance etc as we tend to out them after 3-4 years anyway.
Certainly don't wait until the right time to buy the car you want as financially there rarely is a right time as money needs to be spent elsewhere most of the time but weigh up whether you spending your savings on a car (or most of it) will be detrimental in terms of things like the wedding or a house deposit if those are things you are going to be looking at soon.
I also think it's a good time to find out where you both stand on money. However you choose to do it is perfectly fine, that's your choice. It would be easy to avoid the subject until it becomes something you argue over though.
My wife and I have joint money and our own money. If that weren't the case we'd just have a lot less joint money
My wife and I have joint money and our own money. If that weren't the case we'd just have a lot less joint money
RS93 said:
So I've been toying with the idea of a new car for a while. Settled on a Diesel hatchback focus st diesel which ticks alot of boxes for me, something that i can use every day and does not take up all of my savings (although about 75%).
Now I mention it to my long term partner and i can tell she's not keen on the idea...(thinks st's are a bit gary boy!) and get the impression she thinks the money can be better spent..eg wedding next year..house bits..and get a cheaper car or make do with a runaround.
Now like many i work hard, and i just quite fancy treating myself to something thats going to last me a good few years. Is it selfish to not take into account others opinions - considering its a long term partner and we're planning wedding...kids...settling down etc..
I imagine will get some responses like 'no women will tell me what to do, otherwise shed be out the door' ....she hasn't said in such words she thinks its a bad idea but I can tell she thinks the money would be better spent elsewhere.
The joys of growing up i guess! Would be keen to hear others thoughts
It's a relatively sensible car in terms of running costs, and one that should be fairly long-lived. Bangernomics only truly works if you're prepared to live with a steadily deteriorating car or can do repairs yourself, garage bills on older cars can be crippling if not. I did the maths a few years ago, and moved from a decade-old car into a brand new one for much the same annual costs - and I can do repairs myself.Now I mention it to my long term partner and i can tell she's not keen on the idea...(thinks st's are a bit gary boy!) and get the impression she thinks the money can be better spent..eg wedding next year..house bits..and get a cheaper car or make do with a runaround.
Now like many i work hard, and i just quite fancy treating myself to something thats going to last me a good few years. Is it selfish to not take into account others opinions - considering its a long term partner and we're planning wedding...kids...settling down etc..
I imagine will get some responses like 'no women will tell me what to do, otherwise shed be out the door' ....she hasn't said in such words she thinks its a bad idea but I can tell she thinks the money would be better spent elsewhere.
The joys of growing up i guess! Would be keen to hear others thoughts
To a certain extent yes, you should be taking a joint view on finances, but definitely not allow a "what's yours is mine, and what's mine is mine too" view to take hold - you're still two individual people, you still have your own interests, and you absolutely should do things for you, as well as for you both.
Key question - how long did it take to amass those savings?
Few months? Meh, get it bought, live a little. It can take the inevitable child seats in two years' time.
Years and Years? Maybe reconsider.
As for weddings - some work on that front can cut costs radically, while still delivering a great day. Some of the best I've been to were done on a surprisingly low budget, and certainly didn't feel cheap.
ETA - maybe make sure it's a 5-door?
Edited by shtu on Monday 30th November 22:36
Just buy what you want with your money, don't be like the pussywhipped people that do what they are told by the Mrs. I have 3 cars, my Mrs doesn't criticise me as long as She has hers.
Train them early and as someone else said set the precident. If you start as a beta you will remain a beta in the relationship forever.
Train them early and as someone else said set the precident. If you start as a beta you will remain a beta in the relationship forever.
Two weddings later I'd suggest spending it on the car.
Fancy venue, your friends won't remember.
Fancy band, I mates might remember that it was a celdith band, most remember getting pissed.
Food, I can't remember what either meal was, and I paid for a lot of dinners!
Fancy photography, my wife hasn't looked at the photos in the last 5 years, I've looked at them a handful of times.
If the money is there, it will get spent.
On the other hand, if you are buying a place I'd put the money into that. What ever you put into a deposit will pay itself back double with a basic mortgage.
My 2p.
Fancy venue, your friends won't remember.
Fancy band, I mates might remember that it was a celdith band, most remember getting pissed.
Food, I can't remember what either meal was, and I paid for a lot of dinners!
Fancy photography, my wife hasn't looked at the photos in the last 5 years, I've looked at them a handful of times.
If the money is there, it will get spent.
On the other hand, if you are buying a place I'd put the money into that. What ever you put into a deposit will pay itself back double with a basic mortgage.
My 2p.
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