Corsa clowns
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Discussion

steveobes

Original Poster:

632 posts

208 months

Sunday 22nd November 2009
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My son showed me this from the Honda CRX forum, the quotes are from a corsa forum. It's well funny!

[quote] To save too much back and forth - here is the brief overview

Corsa Einstein wrote:
I agree with your point, but the car is a little quicker than the standard SXi and so I felt the SRi badges were appropriate. It only carries 1 person, Me. It has no extra weight in the car, all glove compartments, cubby holes and the boot is empty. The rear exhaust may or may not add power. It has only ever run on Optimax, I know you get more boost out if this fuel on bigger engined cars but every little helps. The tyres are always inflated to 38 PSI to give extra grip and less tyre slouch. Often I put the rear seats flat, this reduces weight. (Like why you crawl flat across a frozen pond so as not to break the ice). I regularly drive with around £10 of fuel, again weight saving, and often I use engine cleaner in the fuel load to remove debris from the fuel injectors. The car is always clean improving aerodynamic progress. I have timed the 0 - 60 at 9.3 seconds, and this shaves a couple of seconds off the standard time. Hope this answers your question.


After a minor disagreement

Corsa Physics graduate wrote:
The rear seat thing, It is rare that I fold them down, but it has to be said that when folded they remove a bit of weight. Vertical seats exert more downward force because the energy is focused on a smaller surface area. When horizontal, the weight is spread and so is less per Centimetre squared.



So thats it, I'm off to:
1. lay the rear seat flat on the B20
2. Never give anyone a ride in it ever again
3. Throw on a louder exhaust - it might not do anything but nothing to lose
4. Never put more than £10 worth of optimax in
5. Throw away the manual when it comes to tyre pressures - more is better so the B20 will be ace with about 50psi in it
6. Keep it polished up and if it (only remotely) feels faster put type R badges on it as its obviously earned them [quote]



Right, thats it for the idots guide to modifying your 1.2 nik nak - more later if I find any more gems like this one!

jdearden

1,746 posts

206 months

Sunday 22nd November 2009
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Ha ha ha. This has really chered me up.

peterguk M500

2,622 posts

246 months

Sunday 22nd November 2009
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Thought this thread was going to be about tyres...

Lakelord

1,756 posts

233 months

Sunday 22nd November 2009
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This perfectly illustrates why you shouldn't believe everything you read on forums

The devil

2,152 posts

212 months

Sunday 22nd November 2009
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So I have putthe fronts up to 50 on the Nob and I have to say its a bit skittish round corners and I couldn't find any back seats

snuffy

13,216 posts

313 months

Sunday 22nd November 2009
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It think you'll find the "Corsa Einstein" and "Corsa Physics" are the ones who are churteling ! ( Give it some thought )

Tuscan Rat

3,276 posts

252 months

Sunday 22nd November 2009
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This has been put up to us Mods to move, however as I think its a bit of light humour within these walls of Noble owners, I'm going to leave it here.

Also I know who wrote this, as do many PH'er as it's a PH'er. Who thankfully has grown up. He has, and still does take sooooooo much stick for this. To save him from a further torrent of abuse best keep it out of the main forums.


hman

7,497 posts

223 months

Sunday 22nd November 2009
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RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSSSSSTTTTT

AMG Merc

11,955 posts

282 months

Monday 23rd November 2009
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So, this must be why Lee Noble added the '3R' badge then scratchchinwink

AMG Merc

11,955 posts

282 months

Monday 23rd November 2009
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snuffy said:
It think you'll find the "Corsa Einstein" and "Corsa Physics" are the ones who are churteling ! ( Give it some thought )
yes

RobP

2,097 posts

270 months

Monday 23rd November 2009
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The devil said:
So I have putthe fronts up to 50 on the Nob and I have to say its a bit skittish round corners and I couldn't find any back seats
Once you've put the fronts up to 50psi -you can ditch the power steering and save more weight. Perfect.

Gadgeroonie

5,362 posts

265 months

Monday 23rd November 2009
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folding the rear seats down will actually lower the centre of gravity - but i doubt you would ever be able to measure it lol

more effective to get the driver to lay down flat jester

Mr E

23,035 posts

288 months

Monday 23rd November 2009
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hman said:
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSSSSSTTTTT
I remember this from *years* ago...

The devil

2,152 posts

212 months

Monday 23rd November 2009
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Gadgeroonie said:
folding the rear seats down will actually lower the centre of gravity - but i doubt you would ever be able to measure it lol

more effective to get the driver to lay down flat jester
I did that, got shoe marks on the roof and the wife is divorceing me now....happy days

joust

14,622 posts

288 months

Monday 23rd November 2009
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Similarly you can put 400 helium filled ballons in your car. Makes it far lighter as proven in the film UP!

J