Quote the cock - FFS
Discussion
I will always forgive any commentator "slip of the tongue" type errors. Goodness knows, dear old Murray established his name precisely becuase of this ("I've just stopped my startwatch" - etc etc ).
No, that is not Allen's failing. His failing is the way he CONTRIVES his commentary style. It is not spontaneous and not natural. It comes across as totally artificial. He spends long periods, sometimes weeks, establishing a phrase and then, when we are used to the phrase, he will deliver what he considers in his mind, a "gem" of a punchline. His current "phrase" was yesterday's constant referring to being "on the bubble" during qualifying. What the HELL is it supposed to mean? I'm not sure he knows himself - but, no doubt, during some future qualifying session someone who is "on the bubble" will suffer some setback which will allow Allen to pronounce triumphantly that "the bubble has burst".
Maybe we should run a sweepstake as to when we will eventually hear this "spontanaeous" piece of commentating skill.
No, that is not Allen's failing. His failing is the way he CONTRIVES his commentary style. It is not spontaneous and not natural. It comes across as totally artificial. He spends long periods, sometimes weeks, establishing a phrase and then, when we are used to the phrase, he will deliver what he considers in his mind, a "gem" of a punchline. His current "phrase" was yesterday's constant referring to being "on the bubble" during qualifying. What the HELL is it supposed to mean? I'm not sure he knows himself - but, no doubt, during some future qualifying session someone who is "on the bubble" will suffer some setback which will allow Allen to pronounce triumphantly that "the bubble has burst".
Maybe we should run a sweepstake as to when we will eventually hear this "spontanaeous" piece of commentating skill.
Yes, the obvious lack of spontaneity does my head in as well. Brundle will come out with an opinion only for The Cock to join in with "Exactly, blah blah blah blah...." with such a breathtaking lack of conviction, clearly not having listened to what Brundle actually said.
Oh, and can't remember the drivers involved from today, but:
"Yes, the overtake succeeded because he obviously wanted to get past more.....than......the overtaken driver.........wanted to defend......his.......position......errr..........." or some other such guff that was conjured up Allen's goldfish-sized brain.
Oh, and can't remember the drivers involved from today, but:
"Yes, the overtake succeeded because he obviously wanted to get past more.....than......the overtaken driver.........wanted to defend......his.......position......errr..........." or some other such guff that was conjured up Allen's goldfish-sized brain.
Eric Mc said:Numbnuts' new favourite expression has been around for at least forty years.
I will always forgive any commentator "slip of the tongue" type errors. Goodness knows, dear old Murray established his name precisely becuase of this ("I've just stopped my startwatch" - etc etc ).
No, that is not Allen's failing. His failing is the way he CONTRIVES his commentary style. It is not spontaneous and not natural. It comes across as totally artificial. He spends long periods, sometimes weeks, establishing a phrase and then, when we are used to the phrase, he will deliver what he considers in his mind, a "gem" of a punchline. His current "phrase" was yesterday's constant referring to being "on the bubble" during qualifying. What the HELL is it supposed to mean? I'm not sure he knows himself - but, no doubt, during some future qualifying session someone who is "on the bubble" will suffer some setback which will allow Allen to pronounce triumphantly that "the bubble has burst".
I first heard it used for Indy 500 qualifying in the '60s. In that case, however, it meant that, in a qualifying field that would be narrowed down to 33 cars for the starting grid, whoever, before qualifying was finished, was sitting with 33rd fastest time was "on the bubble": he would be the first to be knocked out by a faster time, and his bubble would be burst.
That is a rather different meaning from the way that Allen mangled it. No surprise - perhaps we should call him the Bubblehead.
The thing that annoyed me was that they could never get the BMW Sauber and Williams cars right. Rosberg colided with Heidfeld at the first corner and spun not his team mate Webber.
Having said that they could easily be excused, the colour schemes are too similar just like MFI-TkMaxx Racing or whatever they are called this week and McLaren.
>> Edited by FourWheelDrift on Sunday 12th March 21:52
Having said that they could easily be excused, the colour schemes are too similar just like MFI-TkMaxx Racing or whatever they are called this week and McLaren.
>> Edited by FourWheelDrift on Sunday 12th March 21:52
2 sMoKiN bArReLs said:
Tis a hard job.
But...Allen had Raikkonen coming from 20th on several occasions...did he not notice there were 22 this year?
I think you guys are being very unkind and intolerant to chastise Jamie just because he got confused with those complicated numbers like 22.
After he's run out of 20 fingers and toes, what do you expect him to do?
Colemanballs
Atheletics:
Her time about 4.13, which she's capable of. [DAVID COLEMAN]
She never knows when she's beaten except when she actually is. [STEPHEN HADLEY]
There is Brendan Foster, by himself, with twenty thousand people... [DAVID COLEMAN]
He is even smaller in real life than he is on the track. [DAVID COLEMAN]
...a very powerful set of lungs, very much hidden by that chest of his. [ALAN PASCOE]
Virren, the champion, came in fifth place and ran a champions race. [ANON]
This boy swims like a greyhound... [ANTHONY STILL]
...he just can't believe what's not happening to him. [DAVID COLEMAN]
Tahamata went through the air like a torpedo. [PETER JONES]
Both these players seem to anticipate the play of the other almost before it's happened. [TONY GUBBA]
Here we are in the Holy Land of Israel - a Mecca for tourists. [DAVID VINE]
Harvey Glance, the black American sprinter with the white top and the black bottom... [RON PICKERING]
There is only one winner in this race. [DAVID COLEMAN]
...and the winner is the winner. [DAVID COLEMAN]
Bradford, who had gone up from 200 metres to 400, found it hard going and for the last 100 was always going backwards. [DAVID COLEMAN]
Henry Runo... the man with those tremedous asbestos lungs. [RON PICKERING]
Boxing:
And the crowd go wild as they see the shaven head of Hagler enter the auditorium. And there he is, hooded... [REG GUTTERIDGE]
...and Magri has to do well against this unknown Mexican who comes from a famous family of five boxing brothers. [HARRY CARPENTER]
Heis had 24 fights, lost one, so he is undefeated... [ALAN MINTER]
Minter, the undisputed world champion, leaves the ring not a champion. [HARRY CARPENTER]
Well, I'm hoping we can fight again, or at least have a re-match. [JOHN CONTEH]
To be honest, it was a very physical fight... [JIM WATT]
This ring really does look small although it's standard size. Mind you, we're watching the fight in a huge stadium so Einstein's theory of relativity must be working here. [REG GUTTERIDGE]
Cricket:
It's his second finger - technically his third. [CHRISTOPHER MARTIN-JENKINS]
...this series has been swings and pendulums all the way through. [TREVOR BAILEY]
It's a unique occasion, really - a repeat of Melbourne 1977. [JIM LAKER]
It's especially tense for parker who's literally fighting for a place on an overcrowded plane to India. [TREVOR BAILEY]
Boycott, somewhat a creature of habit, likes exactly the sort of food he himself prefers. [DON MOSEY]
Bill Frindall has done a bit of mental arithmetic with a calculator... [JOHN ARLOTT]
The Test Match begins in ten minutes - that's our time, of course... [DAVID COLEMAN]
Lilee bowled seven overs, no maidens, no wickets for 35, and I think that's a true reflection of his figures too. [ALAN McGILVAN]
...and England win by a solitary nine runs... [FRANK BOUGH]
After their 60 overs, West Indies have scored 244 for 7, all out. [FRANK BOUGH]
The hallmark of a great captain is his ability to win the toss at the right time. [RICHIE BENAUD]
Football:
Within a couple of minutes he had scored two goals in a two-minute period. [ALAN PARRY]
For a player to ask for a transfer has opened everybody's eyebrows. [BOBBY ROBSON]
The score is Middlesborough 1, Middlesborough 0 - and Middlesborough have now gone eleven matches without a win. [DAVID COLEMAN]
John Bond's smile is always very, very good radio... [MIKE INGHAM]
After a goalless first half, the score at half-time is 0-0. [BRIAN MOORE]
And Keegan was there like a surgeon's knife - bang! [BRYAN BUTLER]
Sporting Lisbon in their green and white hooped shirts... they look like a team of zebras. [PETER JONES]
So far Villa have only troubled Bradshaw twice with shots that did not trouble him. [LARRY CANNING]
Without picking out individuals, I thought Gary Stanley did very well indeed. [ANON]
Even when you're dead you shouldn't lie down and let yourself be buried. [GORDON LEE]
Gary Bailey had to choose tonight to miss out on saving that. [DAVID COLEMAN]
I promise results, not promises. [JOHN BOND]
I wouldn't mind being a fly on Larry Lloyd's shorts. [MARTIN JOHNSON]
...and their manager, terry Neil, isn't here today, which suggests he is somewhere else. [BRIAN MOORE]
Most of the things I've done are my own fault, so I can't feel guilty about them. [GEORGE BEST]
I have other irons in the fire, but I'm keeping them close to my chest. [JOHN BOND]
I don't think they're as good as they are. [KEVIN KEEGAN]
History, as John Bond would agree, is all about todays and not about yesterdays. [BRIAN MOORE]
The advantage of being at home is very much with the home side. [DENIS LAW]
Some of the players never dreamed they'd be playing in a Cup Final at Wembley - but here they are today, fulfilling those dreams. [LAWRIE McMENEMY]
Atheletics:
Her time about 4.13, which she's capable of. [DAVID COLEMAN]
She never knows when she's beaten except when she actually is. [STEPHEN HADLEY]
There is Brendan Foster, by himself, with twenty thousand people... [DAVID COLEMAN]
He is even smaller in real life than he is on the track. [DAVID COLEMAN]
...a very powerful set of lungs, very much hidden by that chest of his. [ALAN PASCOE]
Virren, the champion, came in fifth place and ran a champions race. [ANON]
This boy swims like a greyhound... [ANTHONY STILL]
...he just can't believe what's not happening to him. [DAVID COLEMAN]
Tahamata went through the air like a torpedo. [PETER JONES]
Both these players seem to anticipate the play of the other almost before it's happened. [TONY GUBBA]
Here we are in the Holy Land of Israel - a Mecca for tourists. [DAVID VINE]
Harvey Glance, the black American sprinter with the white top and the black bottom... [RON PICKERING]
There is only one winner in this race. [DAVID COLEMAN]
...and the winner is the winner. [DAVID COLEMAN]
Bradford, who had gone up from 200 metres to 400, found it hard going and for the last 100 was always going backwards. [DAVID COLEMAN]
Henry Runo... the man with those tremedous asbestos lungs. [RON PICKERING]
Boxing:
And the crowd go wild as they see the shaven head of Hagler enter the auditorium. And there he is, hooded... [REG GUTTERIDGE]
...and Magri has to do well against this unknown Mexican who comes from a famous family of five boxing brothers. [HARRY CARPENTER]
Heis had 24 fights, lost one, so he is undefeated... [ALAN MINTER]
Minter, the undisputed world champion, leaves the ring not a champion. [HARRY CARPENTER]
Well, I'm hoping we can fight again, or at least have a re-match. [JOHN CONTEH]
To be honest, it was a very physical fight... [JIM WATT]
This ring really does look small although it's standard size. Mind you, we're watching the fight in a huge stadium so Einstein's theory of relativity must be working here. [REG GUTTERIDGE]
Cricket:
It's his second finger - technically his third. [CHRISTOPHER MARTIN-JENKINS]
...this series has been swings and pendulums all the way through. [TREVOR BAILEY]
It's a unique occasion, really - a repeat of Melbourne 1977. [JIM LAKER]
It's especially tense for parker who's literally fighting for a place on an overcrowded plane to India. [TREVOR BAILEY]
Boycott, somewhat a creature of habit, likes exactly the sort of food he himself prefers. [DON MOSEY]
Bill Frindall has done a bit of mental arithmetic with a calculator... [JOHN ARLOTT]
The Test Match begins in ten minutes - that's our time, of course... [DAVID COLEMAN]
Lilee bowled seven overs, no maidens, no wickets for 35, and I think that's a true reflection of his figures too. [ALAN McGILVAN]
...and England win by a solitary nine runs... [FRANK BOUGH]
After their 60 overs, West Indies have scored 244 for 7, all out. [FRANK BOUGH]
The hallmark of a great captain is his ability to win the toss at the right time. [RICHIE BENAUD]
Football:
Within a couple of minutes he had scored two goals in a two-minute period. [ALAN PARRY]
For a player to ask for a transfer has opened everybody's eyebrows. [BOBBY ROBSON]
The score is Middlesborough 1, Middlesborough 0 - and Middlesborough have now gone eleven matches without a win. [DAVID COLEMAN]
John Bond's smile is always very, very good radio... [MIKE INGHAM]
After a goalless first half, the score at half-time is 0-0. [BRIAN MOORE]
And Keegan was there like a surgeon's knife - bang! [BRYAN BUTLER]
Sporting Lisbon in their green and white hooped shirts... they look like a team of zebras. [PETER JONES]
So far Villa have only troubled Bradshaw twice with shots that did not trouble him. [LARRY CANNING]
Without picking out individuals, I thought Gary Stanley did very well indeed. [ANON]
Even when you're dead you shouldn't lie down and let yourself be buried. [GORDON LEE]
Gary Bailey had to choose tonight to miss out on saving that. [DAVID COLEMAN]
I promise results, not promises. [JOHN BOND]
I wouldn't mind being a fly on Larry Lloyd's shorts. [MARTIN JOHNSON]
...and their manager, terry Neil, isn't here today, which suggests he is somewhere else. [BRIAN MOORE]
Most of the things I've done are my own fault, so I can't feel guilty about them. [GEORGE BEST]
I have other irons in the fire, but I'm keeping them close to my chest. [JOHN BOND]
I don't think they're as good as they are. [KEVIN KEEGAN]
History, as John Bond would agree, is all about todays and not about yesterdays. [BRIAN MOORE]
The advantage of being at home is very much with the home side. [DENIS LAW]
Some of the players never dreamed they'd be playing in a Cup Final at Wembley - but here they are today, fulfilling those dreams. [LAWRIE McMENEMY]
Gassing Station | General Motorsport | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff