your dirtiest trick
Discussion
i thought i would share my most memorable,lowdown,dirtiest trick i've ever pulled... involving a car.
It was around 12 years ago,i was living with my parent's in a large farmhouse that they were renting,slap bang in the middle of the norfolk broads.it was quite a large place with a swooping stone driveway and at the side of the house,a track that led to the old stable's that me and my brother used as a workshop come garage.
i was working at the time in norwich,and my brother was working 30 odd miles away in great yarmouth.
At the time we shared the use of an old mini 1000 and took it in turns to have the use of the car.
One particular morning mid summer,around 6.30,i got all my gear for work in the said mini and started it up,(it was my day to have the car)only to be met by my brother who said he needed the car for work also,after a few 'words',we agreed he woulddrive and drop me off in norwich and pick me up after work.
fine....
the mini was parked in aforementioned stable and at the end of the track leading to the main road was a rather large gate.i told my brother i would go and open the gate ready for our departeur.as i was walking down the track i stumbled across a dead rat,no visible signs of a violent death,no blood,no head missing etc.this was when i had a moment of what felt like pure genious. i quickly ran to the gate and opened it,ran back to the dead rat and picked it up by it's limp tail and ran back around to the mini.my brother was nowhere to be seen,so,as quick as i could,ran to the mini,opened the door,and managed to squeeze the lifeless corpse of poor old ratty behind the sun visor on the drivers side.this was quite an achievment in itself bearing in mind the size of a mini sunvisor!
i quickly sprinted down the track to the gate and arrived just as my brother emerged from the house,i opened the gate and beckoned him to come down the drive, thinking as soon as he pulled off the expired rat would decend from the visor and give him a well deserved wake up call!
1st gear came and went.no sign of ratty...
it was quite a long track...
2nd gear came...he was doing probably 20mph by this time....
just then there was a lurch in direction as the shadowy figure of poor old ratty decended onto my brothers nether region....
thinking he would just slam the brakes on and stop,i was bent over with uncontrolable laughter,f
k me,he jumped straight out of the drivers door without even touching the brakes!!!
the laughter soon turned to terror as the mini,with dead ratty on the drivers seat,carreared past me to the end of the track,where it shot straight across the main road and into a ditch.
bugger...
then fk me,my brother ran up to the poor old mini,grabbed the dead rat by the tail and proceeded to swing it round his head,chase me in a fit of rage declaring he was gonna fking kill me !!
we never did get to work that day....
we did however,after my brother saw the funny side of it,give poor old ratty a decent send off.
so come on,what has been your dirtiest trick?
It was around 12 years ago,i was living with my parent's in a large farmhouse that they were renting,slap bang in the middle of the norfolk broads.it was quite a large place with a swooping stone driveway and at the side of the house,a track that led to the old stable's that me and my brother used as a workshop come garage.
i was working at the time in norwich,and my brother was working 30 odd miles away in great yarmouth.
At the time we shared the use of an old mini 1000 and took it in turns to have the use of the car.
One particular morning mid summer,around 6.30,i got all my gear for work in the said mini and started it up,(it was my day to have the car)only to be met by my brother who said he needed the car for work also,after a few 'words',we agreed he woulddrive and drop me off in norwich and pick me up after work.
fine....
the mini was parked in aforementioned stable and at the end of the track leading to the main road was a rather large gate.i told my brother i would go and open the gate ready for our departeur.as i was walking down the track i stumbled across a dead rat,no visible signs of a violent death,no blood,no head missing etc.this was when i had a moment of what felt like pure genious. i quickly ran to the gate and opened it,ran back to the dead rat and picked it up by it's limp tail and ran back around to the mini.my brother was nowhere to be seen,so,as quick as i could,ran to the mini,opened the door,and managed to squeeze the lifeless corpse of poor old ratty behind the sun visor on the drivers side.this was quite an achievment in itself bearing in mind the size of a mini sunvisor!
i quickly sprinted down the track to the gate and arrived just as my brother emerged from the house,i opened the gate and beckoned him to come down the drive, thinking as soon as he pulled off the expired rat would decend from the visor and give him a well deserved wake up call!
1st gear came and went.no sign of ratty...
it was quite a long track...
2nd gear came...he was doing probably 20mph by this time....
just then there was a lurch in direction as the shadowy figure of poor old ratty decended onto my brothers nether region....
thinking he would just slam the brakes on and stop,i was bent over with uncontrolable laughter,f
k me,he jumped straight out of the drivers door without even touching the brakes!!!the laughter soon turned to terror as the mini,with dead ratty on the drivers seat,carreared past me to the end of the track,where it shot straight across the main road and into a ditch.
bugger...
then f
k me,my brother ran up to the poor old mini,grabbed the dead rat by the tail and proceeded to swing it round his head,chase me in a fit of rage declaring he was gonna fking kill me !!we never did get to work that day....
we did however,after my brother saw the funny side of it,give poor old ratty a decent send off.
so come on,what has been your dirtiest trick?
Very good!
At my first job many of my work colleauges all lived together, holding regular parties at their house. At one such weekend while drunk one friend was away for the weekend so i wired the foot break light switch to the horn of his Ford Orion. Come Monday morning as he crept through the southwest London traffic beeping everyone as he braked for roundabouts and traffic lights i suspect the funny side soon left him. Ironic as it still makes me chuckel
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