Fastest Coloured Tuscan
Discussion
Of course we all know that the Iced Titanium MK1s are the fastest by far, its called iced cos like ice on a wet surface its near frictionless motion. 
The colour has historical links with speed (predating BRG),in ancient times only the fastest chariots were made in Iced Titanium
(Ben Hur for example)
Its goes even faster when you
1.Autogym super polish (improves aerodynamics) to the whole car in an anticlockwise direction,
2.Then another layer in a clockwise direction.
3.Take of the wheels to clean and wax then to.(remeber to put them back on)
4.Polish the windows so as to reduce futher drag
5.Vacuum the car out to reduce weight
And to prove how fast I have independent eveidence.
6.Take car to Chav's waiting on corner of street near bench to receive comment " F**King nice car Mate" (Proof of its speed)
7.Further down street pass kid on his BMX, who takes photo on his mobile phone, whilst going Wooow!! (more proof)
8.Move to traffic lights to, pull up next to white van man, who does - double thumbs up and Says " thats loud and looks the business" (yet more proof)(and loud does mean even faster - white van man is an independent witness)
Then as you zoom past the Jet fighter, you can wave goodbye
the pilot.
Therefore;
proof indeed that Iced Titanium is the fastest colour.
.
The colour has historical links with speed (predating BRG),in ancient times only the fastest chariots were made in Iced Titanium
(Ben Hur for example) Its goes even faster when you
1.Autogym super polish (improves aerodynamics) to the whole car in an anticlockwise direction,
2.Then another layer in a clockwise direction.
3.Take of the wheels to clean and wax then to.(remeber to put them back on)
4.Polish the windows so as to reduce futher drag
5.Vacuum the car out to reduce weight
And to prove how fast I have independent eveidence.
6.Take car to Chav's waiting on corner of street near bench to receive comment " F**King nice car Mate" (Proof of its speed)
7.Further down street pass kid on his BMX, who takes photo on his mobile phone, whilst going Wooow!! (more proof)
8.Move to traffic lights to, pull up next to white van man, who does - double thumbs up and Says " thats loud and looks the business" (yet more proof)(and loud does mean even faster - white van man is an independent witness)
Then as you zoom past the Jet fighter, you can wave goodbye
the pilot. Therefore;
proof indeed that Iced Titanium is the fastest colour. .
Nah.
Just go through the spotted threads and see how "many" have ever seen my car. Hardly anyone...so.....my car must be faster than the speed of light. As anything approaches the speed of light, it becomes pure energy (Theory of Relativity). Therefore Crystal Topaz is the fastest colour - a colour so fast that it creates energy!
Just go through the spotted threads and see how "many" have ever seen my car. Hardly anyone...so.....my car must be faster than the speed of light. As anything approaches the speed of light, it becomes pure energy (Theory of Relativity). Therefore Crystal Topaz is the fastest colour - a colour so fast that it creates energy!
TUS 373 said:Seconded! No one spotted me today. Apart, that is, from a Griff driver who I came up behind so fast his car was suddenly forced into a manic two car overtake. Clearly, just the sight of a Crystal Topaz actually makes other TVRs faster from its energy creating properties
Nah.
Just go through the spotted threads and see how "many" have ever seen my car. Hardly anyone...so.....my car must be faster than the speed of light. As anything approaches the speed of light, it becomes pure energy (Theory of Relativity). Therefore Crystal Topaz is the fastest colour - a colour so fast that it creates energy!
You forgot to mention the other Chavs who shout "give it a rev" when they are behind you at traffic lights.
As for the fastest colour, it has to be black.
Black, as you may recall from your school days actually absorbs light/energy and as such has more potential energy - particularly on a sunny day.
As more sunlight is absorbed the faster the car becomes.
This is added to the fact that black gets more heads turning than the other pansy colours and as each head turns, it creates a little vortex/whirlwind that pushes the car even faster.
You can't argue with the facts!
As for the fastest colour, it has to be black.
Black, as you may recall from your school days actually absorbs light/energy and as such has more potential energy - particularly on a sunny day.
As more sunlight is absorbed the faster the car becomes.
This is added to the fact that black gets more heads turning than the other pansy colours and as each head turns, it creates a little vortex/whirlwind that pushes the car even faster.
You can't argue with the facts!
All hail the might of Cosmos Blue, the lightest, darkest, slickest, trickest, smoothest, cleanest, unchavest colour of them all.
I've said before and I will say it again.....their a'nt no way, no way that your cars are faster than mine. As the white van man said, '...blue tuscan 2's are the fastest'!
I am sure I remember a broadcast by a radio show called 'Our Tune'. Well, it came as no great surprise to me when, one day, a group of tuscan owning peeps had to write in and confess their unhappiness at the speed of their cars. It eventually turned out that not one of them owned a Cosmos Blue coloured Tuscan, of which they all later found out, would have acted like a HALO colour and therefore increase the speed of the others!
>> Edited by almack on Thursday 11th May 08:16
I've said before and I will say it again.....their a'nt no way, no way that your cars are faster than mine. As the white van man said, '...blue tuscan 2's are the fastest'!
I am sure I remember a broadcast by a radio show called 'Our Tune'. Well, it came as no great surprise to me when, one day, a group of tuscan owning peeps had to write in and confess their unhappiness at the speed of their cars. It eventually turned out that not one of them owned a Cosmos Blue coloured Tuscan, of which they all later found out, would have acted like a HALO colour and therefore increase the speed of the others!
>> Edited by almack on Thursday 11th May 08:16
stainless_steve said:
Spotted,very slow Tuscan Crystal Topaz in Halifax,guess it had to be a very old bloke driving
There is a crack in the space-time continuum running over the Pennines (just see hoe technological advanced Manchester is over Bradford/Leeds for evidence of that). Therefore Steve, what you actally saw recently, was me driving that car about 4 years ago. It was only visible then becuase you were behind the wheel of a very special SEAC. Nah!
S3 CGJ said:
You forgot to mention the other Chavs who shout "give it a rev" when they are behind you at traffic lights.
As for the fastest colour, it has to be black.
Black, as you may recall from your school days actually absorbs light/energy and as such has more potential energy - particularly on a sunny day.
As more sunlight is absorbed the faster the car becomes.
This is added to the fact that black gets more heads turning than the other pansy colours and as each head turns, it creates a little vortex/whirlwind that pushes the car even faster.
You can't argue with the facts!
Most excellent,
almack said:
All hail the might of Cosmos Blue, the lightest, darkest, slickest, trickest, smoothest, cleanest, unchavest colour of them all.
I've said before and I will say it again.....their a'nt no way, no way that your cars are faster than mine. As the white van man said, '...blue tuscan 2's are the fastest'!
I am sure I remember a broadcast by a radio show called 'Our Tune'. Well, it came as no great surprise to me when, one day, a group of tuscan owning peeps had to write in and confess their unhappiness at the speed of their cars. It eventually turned out that not one of them owned a Cosmos Blue coloured Tuscan, of which they all later found out, would have acted like a HALO colour and therefore increase the speed of the others!
>> Edited by almack on Thursday 11th May 08:16
Whilst the white van may have said that to you , two chavs ran out in front of my car at a crossing and said " wow is bloody bat man in the batmobile" (and I wasnt even wearing my cape that day) !!!
They were in fact confusing my car with the slower black versions often seen (as they move slower). Mine too has never been spotted - again faster than light 0nly yesterday I went to the outer reaches of the universe and back - so fast I was not spotted (see no spotteds in the spotted section of this forum).
I used a worm hole tunnel there and back, as we all know tunnels make the car sound even better. But i could only hear the sound I created going, when I was coming back such was the speed of my car when compared to the speed of sound.
Just more proof
TUS 373 said:
Ahh plagiarism. The most sincere form of flattery for Crystal Topaz - fastestestest colour in the unknown universe.
Yeh but CTopaz doesn't have a worm whole, nah nah nah nah
. yeh, but no, but yeH! You know when they scientists talk of the "big bang" - that was my exhaust that was !! as I accelerated from nothing to the outer edges of existance in milliseconds
. Job done
PS I must win cos my mam said the car looked very fast, and mam's are always right !!
tuscnick said:
All hail the might of Cosmos Blue, the lightest, darkest, slickest, trickest, smoothest, cleanest, unchavest colour of them all.
I've said before and I will say it again.....their a'nt no way, no way that your cars are faster than mine. As the white van man said, '...blue tuscan 2's are the fastest'!
I am sure I remember a broadcast by a radio show called 'Our Tune'. Well, it came as no great surprise to me when, one day, a group of tuscan owning peeps had to write in and confess their unhappiness at the speed of their cars. It eventually turned out that not one of them owned a Cosmos Blue coloured Tuscan, of which they all later found out, would have acted like a HALO colour and therefore increase the speed of the others!
>> Edited by almack on Thursday 11th May 08:16
Whilst the white van may have said that to you , two chavs ran out in front of my car at a crossing and said " wow is bloody bat man in the batmobile" (and I wasnt even wearing my cape that day) !!!
They were in fact confusing my car with the slower black versions often seen (as they move slower). Mine too has never been spotted - again faster than light 0nly yesterday I went to the outer reaches of the universe and back - so fast I was not spotted (see no spotteds in the spotted section of this forum).
I used a worm hole tunnel there and back, as we all know tunnels make the car sound even better. But i could only hear the sound I created going, when I was coming back such was the speed of my car when compared to the speed of sound.
Just more proof
Well.....we know that the two chav's are on foot and they saw your car...soooo it cant be that fast. We also know that white vans are pretty quick as they keep the country going, hence my sighting by a white van.
Now, the worm hole theory. What do you think created the worm hole in the first place??? Our good Lord, space aliens, NED!! Alas none of the above. I hate to break it to you, but it was a COSMOS Blue asteroid mk2 with a targa top! Its shock waves, as it stonked through the Universe, created the worm hole you are refering to and to that mater every over item known to man!
I hasten to add that you 'used a worm hole', therefore proving you needed assistance (like TVR need assistance in their road going lives!!), to get from A to B as fast as possible!!!
I've said before and I will say it again.....their a'nt no way, no way that your cars are faster than mine. As the white van man said, '...blue tuscan 2's are the fastest'!
almack said:
All hail the might of Cosmos Blue, the lightest, darkest, slickest, trickest, smoothest, cleanest, unchavest colour of them all.
I've said before and I will say it again.....their a'nt no way, no way that your cars are faster than mine. As the white van man said, '...blue tuscan 2's are the fastest'!
I am sure I remember a broadcast by a radio show called 'Our Tune'. Well, it came as no great surprise to me when, one day, a group of tuscan owning peeps had to write in and confess their unhappiness at the speed of their cars. It eventually turned out that not one of them owned a Cosmos Blue coloured Tuscan, of which they all later found out, would have acted like a HALO colour and therefore increase the speed of the others!
>> Edited by almack on Thursday 11th May 08:16
Whilst the white van may have said that to you , two chavs ran out in front of my car at a crossing and said " wow is bloody bat man in the batmobile" (and I wasnt even wearing my cape that day) !!!
They were in fact confusing my car with the slower black versions often seen (as they move slower). Mine too has never been spotted - again faster than light 0nly yesterday I went to the outer reaches of the universe and back - so fast I was not spotted (see no spotteds in the spotted section of this forum).
I used a worm hole tunnel there and back, as we all know tunnels make the car sound even better. But i could only hear the sound I created going, when I was coming back such was the speed of my car when compared to the speed of sound.
Just more proof
Well.....we know that the two chav's are on foot and they saw your car...soooo it cant be that fast. We also know that white vans are pretty quick as they keep the country going, hence my sighting by a white van.
Now, the worm hole theory. What do you think created the worm hole in the first place??? Our good Lord, space aliens, NED!! Alas none of the above. I hate to break it to you, but it was a COSMOS Blue asteroid mk2 with a targa top! Its shock waves, as it stonked through the Universe, created the worm hole you are refering to and to that mater every over item known to man!
I hasten to add that you 'used a worm hole', therefore proving you needed assistance (like TVR need assistance in their road going lives!!), to get from A to B as fast as possible!!!
I've said before and I will say it again.....their a'nt no way, no way that your cars are faster than mine. As the white van man said, '...blue tuscan 2's are the fastest'!
No sorry. read this from the spotted forum
"Spotted travelling very slowly on a very fast road, being past by a man in a white van saying " I thought blue ones were fast "
You may not have seen me, as i pasted at great speed (but Iced Titanium is faster !)"
Its there , therefore it must be true (besides my mam said
) 
To make it clear once and for all,
TVR owners were given a call.
To line up side by side
To go as fast as they could in their ride.
Soon Crystal Topaz began to wail
When he saw he'd been passed by a snail.
As Rosso Red steamed ahead,
With the puffy colours with no street cred
The fastest colour of all was black
He'd already been there - and back.
TVR owners were given a call.
To line up side by side
To go as fast as they could in their ride.
Soon Crystal Topaz began to wail
When he saw he'd been passed by a snail.
As Rosso Red steamed ahead,
With the puffy colours with no street cred
The fastest colour of all was black
He'd already been there - and back.
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