Shakin' Stevens gets 2 year ban for Drink-Driving

[CarZee]

Someone please satisfy my need for a joke here...

[thom]

a guy is entering a café. splash...

[GregE240]

Okay...a horse walks into a bar.

The barman says "Why the long face ?"


Thanguverymuchgoodnite !

[thom]

why is it necessary to tape hamsters?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
To avoid they burst when you have close relations with them


Insane thom

[CarZee]

doh!....

[Umar B]

a bloke goes to see the dr. he sayes "i get a pain in my head every day half an hour after i wake up" the dr say "wake up half an hour later" (!!!!!!!!!)...................................................... i'll get my coat.



Edited by Umar B on Wednesday 16th January 13:39

[Cotty]

William Shakespear walks into a pub and the barman shouts "get out your Bard".

[richb]

This bloke goes to the Doctor and say " Dr. I keep thinking I'm a pair of curtains" - Dr. says, "Just pull yourself together"

[Umar B]

And i though mine was bad!!

[CarZee]

okay - I might as well fall into line here..

I'm reading a book at the moment, called "Reasons to Be Cheerful" by Mark Steel.

One paragraph I felt should be communicated immedately reads thus:

quote:Shortly after (Diana's crash), I was on a TV panel game and mentioned the silly rhyme we were taught at school to memorize the wives of Henry VIII, which went 'divorced, beheaded, died - divorced, beheaded, survived'. I said the teachers of the future would have an easier rhyme to help remember the current royal family - 'divorved, divorved, divorved - divorved, divorved, crashed'. There was a collective yelp, and I wasn't asked back.

quality...

[Steve Harrison]

A penguin walks into a bar, says to the barman "Excuse me, have you seen my brother in here?"

"Dunno" says the barman "what does he look like?"

[ZZR600]

two lifts one says to the other "i think im coming down with somthing"
boom boom !!

[ZZR600]

Do you know why cannibals don't eat clowns ?







because they taste funny
Drumroll please !!

[Roadrunner]

shakin, not stirred.

[Roadrunner]

shakin, not stirred.

[RobM]

Brain walks into a bar and orders a pint. The barman says, ' i'm not serving you, your out of your head'

[RobM]

Shakey walks into a pub and slaps a set of jump leads on the bar. The barman says, 'your not startin anything in here shakey'

[RobM]

shakey walks into a bar with a frog growing out of his head. Barman says, 'how did that happenen?' The frog says,'It started with a boil on me bum'

Ribbit

[ZZR600]

What disease do retired pilots get ?



Flu!

[ZZR600]

What do you call a skeleton in the closet ?

someone who was playing hide-and-seek and won