Friday 2nd April 2004

Fleeting Thoughts

Company car drivers - bizarre excuses and bizarre objects

---

Fleet news has been conducting a rather odd survey. They've been out to ask company Fleet managers a couple of random questions. They chose to ask the managers - who are responsible for 37,000 vehicles in total - about bizarre reasons for accidents and strange objects left in cars.

In response to "What is the worst excuse you have ever had for an accident from a driver? " they gathered the following responses:

1. The driver said he was impressed with the reversing siren. So much so that he backed into a wall whilst listening to it
2. There were too many mini roundabouts in the road and I drove into the back of the car on the one that shouldn't have been there
3. Driver blamed his crash on a ‘bloody woman’. It later transpired she was in her upstairs bedroom window getting undressed and the driver was too preoccupied watching her than the gate pillar on his house which promptly peeled one side off his Aston Martin DB7.
4. I was going the wrong way down a one-way street when I hit a car which was not there when going the other way
5. I didn't know my foot was still on the accelerator
6. The other car shouldn't have been in my way
7. I swerved to hit a tree that wasn't there
8. The horse came out of nowhere and landed on my car.
9. I didn't see the lamp-post
10. I had to take too many mobile phone calls
11. The car in front had better brakes so I was unable to compete with the stopping distance and ended up hitting it
12. I don't know why he put his foot in the way while he was seeing me through the gap
13. I forgot I was in a car park
14. I did not think the train ran on those lines any more
15. I sneezed
16. The car didn't come with an instruction manual
17. How could I have known there were metal railings behind the hedge (having reversed through someone’s shrubbery).
18. I was picking my mobile phone up from the floor of the car

John Maslen, editor of Fleet News, said: ‘This shows that no matter how good your risk management policies are, there is no accounting for the truly ‘rogue driver’. Obviously accidents do happen, but looking at these reports it is no surprise there are so many crashes every year. ’

Forgetful drivers are also leaving the oddest things in their cars when they return them to their fleet managers. Among the top items were a dead goat, a chainsaw, used nappies and a microwave oven.

John Maslen added: ‘One of the key issues businesses face is the way their drivers treat vehicles. This quick survey of the oddest things left in vehicles gives a slightly disturbing picture of how some vehicles are used . They seem to act as bathrooms, bedrooms and in some cases toilets - anything apart from their main purpose, which is getting people from A to B. ’

Oddest things left in a car by company car drivers

1. A dead goat
2. A chainsaw
3. Shop dummy
4. Used nappies
5. False teeth
6. Stockings and suspenders
7. Bulk supply of feminine hygiene products
8. A G-string
9. Condoms
10. Microwave
11. Unopened bag of fish & chips under the passenger seat of a van (probably about a week old).
12. A boot full of grass cuttings
13. A bail of hay
14. Tampon in the sun visor
15. Box of 12 bore cartridges

[wedgepilot]

Fantastic...you couldn't make this stuff up. Now, if it had been posted yesterday morning....

[Waveboy14]

Can I still come collect my dead goat, which I forgot?

[mcflurry]

the tampon ain't mine

[bomb]

Oddest things??........I think not. Other than the used nappies, the rest of the items are 'standard equipment' in my car. Wots all the fuss ??

[wfg]

Maybe the goat should be considered an offering.

[CarZee]

This has got to give rise to a wave of people returning their fleet car with an odd object inside...

I vote for a self-inflatable raft with the actuator tied to the inner door handle