for a fistfull of euros(and some other,er..things)

[nervous]

hi gang,

so ive just returned from a weeks work in venice (oo, hark at me)(and, contrary to public belief, it doesnt smell there)(though, now that ive been there, it smells a lot more: parmasan doesnt agree with my delicate constitution)meaning the car hasnt been started in all that time. how exciting.

this will be the longest the car is ever stood up as i will be used as a daily runner, so its its ultimate test of reliability, in terms of battery life anyway.

sooo... for all my remaining euros (about 3 quids worth i reckon), a bottle of suspicious looking liquid called 'mental', a jar of disconcertingly vague meat called 'spunti' and a bag of something labelled 'sticky' (bought, not made by my own fair hand) whos prepared to wager whether she'll start or not?

gentlemen, lets have your bets..

oo ooo, if it helps, before i went away, there was a lot of opening and closing the doors whilst i was messing around with the stereo putting an almost completley useless aerial booster in.

c'mon, lets be having you.

dont mock: out here you have to make your own entertainment.

[nervous]

no-one? anyone? oh come on, we cant all be watching towering inferno (clue: the end is hinted to in the title of the film, wont matter too much if you doze of)

how about if i throw in a Tronky?

[malman]

Course it'll start its pissing down outside if it was dry and sunny now thats another matter

[nervous]

i know, who'd have thought it would actually wetter here than it is in a a town that can be best described as sub aqua? im ten minutes away from going outside now (its sunday, best to pace yourself i find)

anymore for any more? lets not forget folks, theres spunti on offer...

[simonsparrow]

So, did it start?

[nervous]

still havent been out. yet.

im really hoping somebody will have a bet with me and that ill end up with one of a pair of bookends, or half a canoe, or a bit of a curly whirly, if i win. and if i loose ill get rid of all this spunti that i brought home for no other reason than it has an amusing name.

actually, its pretty much all ive said all week,it really is the joke for all seasons. films titles are the best, my personal favourite being the spunt for red october.

anyone got anything there prepared to risk? dont make me get spunti on you people

[spslward]

I'll match your spunti and raise you one set of novelty teeth (pre-owned).
Of course it'll start.

[nervous]

ooo i like the cut of your jib.

so then, the bidding currently stands at 1 set of preowned teeth...

anybody got a partially knawed owl? quite fancy one of them. cmon gang, lets get this moving. cheap as chips and all that guff..

[TON70]

Start?...no problem

Happy to wager a packet of stink bombs!!! (confiscated off the kids for obvious reasons!!)

[nervous]

ooo, this just got interesting... stink bombs?! tell you what, throw in a bag of white chocolate mice and well have a bet...

get ready to do some stinking, im going outside.

[rob dance]

Useless aerial booster?
The halfwits £13 special transformed my (standard)ice from a crackling humming buzzy white noise generator to someting capable of passing for a radio.
Are you sure it`s got power, (where did you get the power from.... i started with the ciggy lighter,which proved to have no supply!)

[nervous]

amatuer. i got power from the plug socket in the garage and ran a 40 metre cable from there to the car. luckily, i live very close to my office.

actually, it works ok, certainly much better than the giant ball of static and hiss that it was before. funnily enough, the noise seems to dry up completely when the wifes not in the car. int that weird?

ok, shoes on. any last bets gentlemen? youll be sorry if you miss out on all this spunti...

[TON70]

Go on then a cheap bottle of French red as well...sooo good it'll strip paint as well!!

[nervous]

aah, you see? you all hold out till the last minute with the 'oo, im not interested' routine, but then whammo!! the time starts running short and the offers start pouring out of the woodwork (just occured to me, ive no idea what that expression means, my wooodwork has never once leaked).

so, coats on, shoes are on keys are in hand.. whatcha got ladies?

[TON70]

So....does she start???? No more bets from this end...see ya !!

[nervous]

SHE ONLY BLOODY STARTS!!!!! YAYYYY!!!! YYIIIPPPPPEEE!!! NO MORE WORRYING FOR ME!!!(AT LEAST NOT ABOUT THE BATTERY)

Spunti on its way to the highests bidder, my advice is to eat it cold and quickly. and within dashing distance of a latrine.

yayyy!!! my car started, my car started, my car started, who could ask for anything mooooore...

[TON70]

Surely thats mine??? and stop calling me Shirley!!


Ye of little faith...now forget about gondolas and all that is foreign and DRIVE

>> Edited by TON70 on Sunday 13th February 21:22

[nervous]

youre spunti is en route as we speak. ive sent it spuntial delivery.

id say youre gonna love it, but, youre not. but you will appreciate real food afterward. possibly not for a couple of weeks, but you will after that. though through a straw initially.

[shell]

BOLLOXXXX, I'M TOO LATE I WAS GOING TO OFFER YOU 1/2 A PACKET OF SINUTABS, MAY NOT SOUND LIKE MUCH, BUT, IF YOU TAKE ALL 15 TABS AT ONCE IT HAS A MUCH BETTER EFFECT THAN A BOTTLE OF WINE, AND YOUR SINUS'S ARE CLEARED OUT!!

WELL ATLEAST THE CAR STARTED!!

[nervous]

damnit, i bloody love a sinutab.

aaah great days, sweet memories, clear olfactory nerves, truly a golden time. getting all tearful just thinking about that (though that may well be these pants, they are a bit on the cutting severe side) (oh come on, its valentines day, if i cant treat her today, when can i treat her)