Funniest Cerb forum Poster?

[DuncanM]

Gotta be nervous imo?

Tell me you're a comedy script writer please .

Duncan

[nervous]

thanks Duncan! that is by far and away the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me ever. in fact, if you could type it up in the form of a contract and sign it in triplicate that'd be a big help in interviews/ when I'm talking to girls/ general stuff. oh, what the hell: you'd best laminate it too. cos, you know, accidents happen.

and sadly, not a script writer, just an over opinionated gobby cock-er-ney with too much time on his hand (the other one is..err.. multi-tasking). though if you want a script written, I'm happy to oblige. weddings, barmitvahs, whatever. no job too small, most jobs too large.

thanks man, made me smile on an otherwise blue day

p.s. however much you normally charge for that boost, ill buy three a day please



>> Edited by nervous on Monday 11th April 23:24

[redleicester]

I'm on that one too. Erm. The Nervous thing. Though if he doesn't vote for me I'll bend his bits. Erm. Sort of. Think I'd better stop now before I get arrested. Again.

Anyway, we're about neck and neck on our cornflake spraying competition by now aren't we Matt?!

[nervous]

aah, mate. you're in good form tonite. seriously, I'm actually crying. and my stomach hurts. though that may well be the amoebic dysentery playing up again.

red gets my vote everytime. and most of my cash. and two of my diseases. only the best for you my friend.

[redleicester]

I told you, you can keep the Babbooooonarseage to yourself, but I don't mind the Cumherenhumpzis Flu. But only on a thursday.

[nervous]

oh, and BY THE WAY. that 'asian bird flu' was NOT what you promised. i was so delirious with fever the whole time, i dont even remember meeting any girls, asian or otherwise.

i wants me money back, pimp daddy.

[redleicester]

There's fing Paddybeer all over my nice new TFT. Only just got it after fusing the old one with erm.... gunk.

Must keep away from those websites.

While I think of it, the nasty affliction of Doyouthinkshelikedus stayed around here for ages. What was worse was the wife went down on it too. Ahem. Sorry, came down with it. In a round about non-prime number sort of way. Ish.

[nervous]

those prime number ones are the worst. in fact, if theres anything worse than an infection thats divisble only by one and itself, i dont want to know what it is. unless it comes with free crisps.

if only women came with free crisps. think how popular gary linker would be.

[redleicester]

Almost as popular as the garry glitter. Well when it's shaved a bit.

Obviously.

Doh.

I'll get me chainsaw then....

[PHØENIX]

My monies on JSG.... he sneaks in the humour when you least expect it... followed by Nervous... but I dont get most of his humour, cos I only get through the first line and I fall asleep (I'm evil... just playin)

[nervous]

yeah, i do go on a bit dunn-oi? sorry bout that.

i like JS too, he's the master of damning with faint praise. stitched somebody up a treat on apost tuther day, he just set this poor soul up and watched him walk right into it. pure class. and if theres anything that F*cking boy doesnt know, ive yet to find it. git. actually now i think about it, i hate him.

[redleicester]

Oooh oooh.... I've changed my mind! Me vote Ash, me vote Ash!

Any nutter who straps a supercharger to an overpowered lightweight flame grilled turkey gets my vote!

[nervous]

oooo ooo, i like mybrainhurts. he seems to be constantly poised over his keyboard ready to drop in a picture of cardinal fang. for that alone, he gets my vote all day long. you know, hes quite funny as well. if you like that sort of thing.

and the smackdown combo of losangeles and jaglover makes me howl. love it when they get into it over nothing.

and bedfordrascal is a roite wag. but not in the good way (my sketchleys bill is still outstanding Rascal, pay up or ill tell your wife. and your husband).

[DuncanM]

Nah Ask is just the craziest .

And most enthusiastic of course!

There are some great writers on here though and loads of funny as fook people on the net that keep me awake when doing nights .

Matt just never fails to make me smile/laugh though!

Duncan

[nervous]

ooo, you old smoothy. ive packed my bags, ive left the wife, im on my way Dunc. (bet youre not smiling now huh? dont worry, it only hurts like buggery the first time. its not so bad once youre up).

on my way now, youd better not be foolin lov-er

[DuncanM]

nervous said:

ooo, you old smoothy. ive packed my bags, ive left the wife, im on my way Dunc. (bet youre not smiling now huh? dont worry, it only hurts like buggery the first time. its not so bad once youre up). on my way now, youd better not be foolin lov-er

Yikes!

[homophobe] Err don't like you that way mate cough cough [/homophobe]

Doesn't matter anyway as I'll easily get away from you in my 4.2 AJPV8.



Duncan

[nervous]

cheap shot. but a good shot none-the-less. anyway, it aint all about the engine... its about the driver, the handling dynamics, intamate knowledge of the road surface, correct reading of conditions and speed indicators... ah, who am i trying to kid? its ALL about the engine. it.

back to the wife for me then. good job she never listens to a word i say, huh?

yours,
Crestfallen of Winterton

[gazzab]

I vote for bath tub.

[FourWheelDrift]

nervous said:

oooo ooo, i like mybrainhurts. he seems to be constantly poised over his keyboard ready to drop in a picture of cardinal fang. for that alone, he gets my vote all day long. you know, hes quite funny as well. if you like that sort of thing. and the smackdown combo of losangeles and jaglover makes me howl. love it when they get into it over nothing. and bedfordrascal is a roite wag. but not in the good way (my sketchleys bill is still outstanding Rascal, pay up or ill tell your wife. and your husband).

The title does say Cerbera Forum posters. Never seen them post in here.

[nervous]

oops, sorry. it was late and im stupid. i retract all previous endorsements