Keep your mouth closed

[Buffoon]

Just reminiscing over my car today, as it has been away from my tender care for a while.

Has anyone noticed that when driving with the windows down, big bitey stingy things that fail to deposit their gizzards all over the screen, tend to whip around the front pillar and straight at you.

Last time this happened the missus thought I was suffering from a minor epileptic episode as a bloomin' great wasp / hornet bashed me in the face and then nestled down for a snooze in the scrotal regions. Thankfully, either the initial impact was enough to put it into perma-coma, or I gassed it to death.

[FUBAR]

I hate wasps!

If one gets near my gonads and/or my 'parp passage' it deserves all it gets!

[FarmyardPants]

No creature deserves that.

[SI-PEN]

Buffoon said:

Just reminiscing over my car today, as it has been away from my tender care for a while.

Has anyone noticed that when driving with the windows down, big bitey stingy things that fail to deposit their gizzards all over the screen, tend to whip around the front pillar and straight at you.

Last time this happened the missus thought I was suffering from a minor epileptic episode as a bloomin' great wasp / hornet bashed me in the face and then nestled down for a snooze in the scrotal regions. Thankfully, either the initial impact was enough to put it into perma-coma, or I gassed it to death.

That is so funny...I had the exact same experiance last year whilst getting lost in North Norfolk. I was hit on the upper lip by a very large Hornet, didn't know that at the time just thought was the F**k and licked my lips like you do!

The taste was kind of sweet! but soon relised the creature was sitting in my lap with its body leaking. I absolutely flipped and the wife and kids thought I was having some kind of road rage. Never again will I drive down nice country roads on a nice sunny day with the window wide open, if I had been 10 years older then I would have had a heart attack.

[BigBazza]

The first summer I had the Cerb I was flying along at (insert decimal point where applicable) 130 with the window down and I thought i'd been shot in my right shoulder - There was a massive stinging pain and blood all over my shirt and It was all i could do to steer the car while I investigated - I had a root round and pulled the remains of a huge bumble bee out of my armpit - what a way to go!!

[grahamn]

BigBazza said:

The first summer I had the Cerb I was flying along at (insert decimal point where applicable) 130 with the window down and I thought i'd been shot in my right shoulder - There was a massive stinging pain and blood all over my shirt and It was all i could do to steer the car while I investigated - I had a root round and pulled the remains of a huge bumble bee out of my armpit - what a way to go!!

Rooting round your armpit at 130

[Gazzab]

on my way to le mans 2 yrs ago we were maxed out - my passenger leant forward to pick something up only for an insect to hit the head rest and explode (at some 180mph?). If he had been sitting up I think he could have lost an eye !

[southendpier]

Gazzab said:

on my way to le mans 2 yrs ago we were maxed out - my passenger leant forward to pick something up only for an insect to hit the head rest and explode (at some 180mph?). If he had been sitting up I think he could have lost an eye !

Never drive at 180mph with the windows open - just think of the amount of fuel you were wasting. How are we Cerb drviers going to save the planet by having our windows open, hmm?