Always Look on the Bright Side of Life
Discussion
Not poted for a while, as been very busy.
Some little scrotes decided to break into my home last week, and stole material goods. Oh well I thought, could be worse.
Found they went into my garage and lifted the car cover of my E-Type and hacked crosses into it with a knife. I was right, things could be worse.
Discovered they also stole every video tape we owned of our kids and family and irreplacable personal effects. At least I am insured I thought. No I wasn't... long story.
Anyway. Point of post was that despite all of that, when I get into the cerb, the world still seems a better place. Surely proof that for absolute wellbeing we just need good health, good beer and a TVR. Catching the little w*****s and nailing their testes to a tree would be a bonus though.
Some little scrotes decided to break into my home last week, and stole material goods. Oh well I thought, could be worse.
Found they went into my garage and lifted the car cover of my E-Type and hacked crosses into it with a knife. I was right, things could be worse.
Discovered they also stole every video tape we owned of our kids and family and irreplacable personal effects. At least I am insured I thought. No I wasn't... long story.
Anyway. Point of post was that despite all of that, when I get into the cerb, the world still seems a better place. Surely proof that for absolute wellbeing we just need good health, good beer and a TVR. Catching the little w*****s and nailing their testes to a tree would be a bonus though.
Jealous, bone idle brain dead scum like this, when caught, should have a finger removed each time they are caught. If they are to dimm to realise that this sort of behaviour will not be tolerated, and continue to steal, eventually they wont have enough fingers left to steal. Keep smiling, hopefully they will die from an overdose.
Thanks for kind offers of assistance to mutilate culprits. Finger chopping is a good proposition, but a bit messy. Blowlamp may help stem the flow so not given up on the idea yet but for now I keep a pocketfull of rusty panel pins and toffee hammer ready for my first choice.
Message here goes back to thread title. Eric Idle said Life's a 5hit when you think about it... always look on the bright side of life...di dum, di dum, di dum di dum di dum etc etc etc. Well, one trip in the Cerb and all is well again. So if anyone else is feeling a bit despondant, crank the old girl up and smile again
Message here goes back to thread title. Eric Idle said Life's a 5hit when you think about it... always look on the bright side of life...di dum, di dum, di dum di dum di dum etc etc etc. Well, one trip in the Cerb and all is well again. So if anyone else is feeling a bit despondant, crank the old girl up and smile again
I wondered what i would do if i ever caught the scumm who did some thing similar to me and i came up with the following,
If you catch them, stuff them in your boot and drive them into the middle of a forest (naked). Tie them to a tree (naked) and then get a petrol soaked ragg and stuff it in there mouth. Produce a large petrol container from the back seat and pretend its full of petrol (but actually use water). Cover them in the water and they will think its petrol (because of the smell of the rag stuffed in there mouth).
Do all this while naked and casualy smoking a cigarette, it really f
ks them up so im told.
If you catch them, stuff them in your boot and drive them into the middle of a forest (naked). Tie them to a tree (naked) and then get a petrol soaked ragg and stuff it in there mouth. Produce a large petrol container from the back seat and pretend its full of petrol (but actually use water). Cover them in the water and they will think its petrol (because of the smell of the rag stuffed in there mouth).
Do all this while naked and casualy smoking a cigarette, it really f
ks them up so im told.Fex2005 said:
I wondered what i would do if i ever caught the scumm who did some thing similar to me and i came up with the following,
If you catch them, stuff them in your boot and drive them into the middle of a forest (naked). Tie them to a tree (naked) and then get a petrol soaked ragg and stuff it in there mouth. Produce a large petrol container from the back seat and pretend its full of petrol (but actually use water). Cover them in the water and they will think its petrol (because of the smell of the rag stuffed in there mouth).
Do all this while naked and casualy smoking a cigarette, it really fks them up so im told.
You mean they're naked not you, this is not clear from your post. In fact your last sentence positively suggests your are naked.If you catch them, stuff them in your boot and drive them into the middle of a forest (naked). Tie them to a tree (naked) and then get a petrol soaked ragg and stuff it in there mouth. Produce a large petrol container from the back seat and pretend its full of petrol (but actually use water). Cover them in the water and they will think its petrol (because of the smell of the rag stuffed in there mouth).
Do all this while naked and casualy smoking a cigarette, it really f
ks them up so im told.It's still works though.
Good advice!
Buffers, nightmare sorry to hear that - but you live in the middle of nowhere local scrotes? What did the police say...oh wait sorry did they even turn up?
Actually I think if you were naked, as well as them, and they were tied it, it really WOULD worry them!
Sorry to hear about your bad news Buffoon! Glad you have a ray of light though, and as everyone else says, hope they catch the truckers!
Sorry to hear about your bad news Buffoon! Glad you have a ray of light though, and as everyone else says, hope they catch the truckers!
Edited by jammy_basturd on Wednesday 10th June 13:20
southendpier said:
Fex2005 said:
I wondered what i would do if i ever caught the scumm who did some thing similar to me and i came up with the following,
If you catch them, stuff them in your boot and drive them into the middle of a forest (naked). Tie them to a tree (naked) and then get a petrol soaked ragg and stuff it in there mouth. Produce a large petrol container from the back seat and pretend its full of petrol (but actually use water). Cover them in the water and they will think its petrol (because of the smell of the rag stuffed in there mouth).
Do all this while naked and casualy smoking a cigarette, it really fks them up so im told.
You mean they're naked not you, this is not clear from your post. In fact your last sentence positively suggests your are naked.If you catch them, stuff them in your boot and drive them into the middle of a forest (naked). Tie them to a tree (naked) and then get a petrol soaked ragg and stuff it in there mouth. Produce a large petrol container from the back seat and pretend its full of petrol (but actually use water). Cover them in the water and they will think its petrol (because of the smell of the rag stuffed in there mouth).
Do all this while naked and casualy smoking a cigarette, it really f
ks them up so im told.It's still works though.
Good advice!
Buffers, nightmare sorry to hear that - but you live in the middle of nowhere local scrotes? What did the police say...oh wait sorry did they even turn up?
In witchhunting traditions of the village I rather fancy ducking stool and burning at the stake.
As nice as it would be to catch them in the act i hope and pray that i never catch anyone committing such an act of mindless vandalism! Because if i did i could honestly see ME being sent down for a very long time! I'm not a violent person at all but i really would loose it if i ever saw anyone doing something like this to anyones property! By loosing it i mean....... http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=83dHET-3gZM&clien...
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