Funny story thread to do with Lambo's and Ferrari's
Discussion
I thought I'd start this off with this one :
In Leeds a couple of weeks ago with the Murcie. My Reg no obviously SG54LAM. Came outa a bar. Young asian lady calls over to me ' Are you Steven Gerrard'?? I reply 'now let me think about that for a minute....urm ..no.'. Asian lady : 'Oh yes you are you are, just being modest are'nt you??'. Me : No I am not being modest, I am NOT Steven Gerrard and hes an ugly t**t anyway. Girl giggling 'you are are'nt you! Me : I give up. Yes I am then. Girl : 'I knew it I knew it!! Will you sign my arm for me??!! I've always been into Liverpool!!' Me : 'Ok'. So I signed it anyway. Daft cow.
In a petrol station. Guy gets out of a MK1 Capri. Looks at Lambo while I'm stood at the pumps. 'Nice kit mate' (being totally serious). Me : Thanks, yea took me a year to build, based on MR 2 chassis. Bloke : That is some job mate. What engines it got under the bonnet then?' Me : 'Well it is a V12 actually. Made by some company in Italy. Bloke : 'Can I have a look under the bonnet??' Me : 'Yea of course' (putting the pump back). Opens engine cover. Bloke : ' Jesus its even got the proper cam covers on it mate'!! Me : 'Yea, they do a good job these Italian kit car builders'. Bloke (I think then realising it was real) 'Its a real one init??' Me : Yes. Bloke 'sorry mate'.
In Leeds a couple of weeks ago with the Murcie. My Reg no obviously SG54LAM. Came outa a bar. Young asian lady calls over to me ' Are you Steven Gerrard'?? I reply 'now let me think about that for a minute....urm ..no.'. Asian lady : 'Oh yes you are you are, just being modest are'nt you??'. Me : No I am not being modest, I am NOT Steven Gerrard and hes an ugly t**t anyway. Girl giggling 'you are are'nt you! Me : I give up. Yes I am then. Girl : 'I knew it I knew it!! Will you sign my arm for me??!! I've always been into Liverpool!!' Me : 'Ok'. So I signed it anyway. Daft cow.
In a petrol station. Guy gets out of a MK1 Capri. Looks at Lambo while I'm stood at the pumps. 'Nice kit mate' (being totally serious). Me : Thanks, yea took me a year to build, based on MR 2 chassis. Bloke : That is some job mate. What engines it got under the bonnet then?' Me : 'Well it is a V12 actually. Made by some company in Italy. Bloke : 'Can I have a look under the bonnet??' Me : 'Yea of course' (putting the pump back). Opens engine cover. Bloke : ' Jesus its even got the proper cam covers on it mate'!! Me : 'Yea, they do a good job these Italian kit car builders'. Bloke (I think then realising it was real) 'Its a real one init??' Me : Yes. Bloke 'sorry mate'.
Oh yes I remembered this one too.
Took a bird out on a first date. Didn't know I had a Lambo. Pulls up outside her house. She comes out. 'Ooooh I like your car but its noisy isn't it??' Me : ummm..yes. Girl (looking round it) 'Its Orange isn't it, why is it Orange?' Me: 'Well its a traditional Lamborghini colour from the 1960's you see'. Girl: 'Is it a Lamborghini, gosh I thought it was one of those MG's. My boss (shes a hairdresser) has got one like this'. Me : 'Has she now'. Girl : 'yes i'm sure its an MG and it looks like this. yours is much noisier though'. Me (now getting weary) 'Ok fine'. Girl : ' Are you sure yours hasn't a hole in the exhaust??' Me : 'I think not'. 'Cars isn't your thing is it??'(now sounding curt). Girl : ' not really I like to breed dogs'.
Took a bird out on a first date. Didn't know I had a Lambo. Pulls up outside her house. She comes out. 'Ooooh I like your car but its noisy isn't it??' Me : ummm..yes. Girl (looking round it) 'Its Orange isn't it, why is it Orange?' Me: 'Well its a traditional Lamborghini colour from the 1960's you see'. Girl: 'Is it a Lamborghini, gosh I thought it was one of those MG's. My boss (shes a hairdresser) has got one like this'. Me : 'Has she now'. Girl : 'yes i'm sure its an MG and it looks like this. yours is much noisier though'. Me (now getting weary) 'Ok fine'. Girl : ' Are you sure yours hasn't a hole in the exhaust??' Me : 'I think not'. 'Cars isn't your thing is it??'(now sounding curt). Girl : ' not really I like to breed dogs'.
simonspider said:
I thought I'd start this off with this one :
In Leeds a couple of weeks ago with the Murcie. My Reg no obviously SG54LAM. Came outa a bar. Young asian lady calls over to me ' Are you Steven Gerrard'?? I reply 'now let me think about that for a minute....urm ..no.'. Asian lady : 'Oh yes you are you are, just being modest are'nt you??'. Me : No I am not being modest, I am NOT Steven Gerrard and hes an ugly t**t anyway. Girl giggling 'you are are'nt you! Me : I give up. Yes I am then. Girl : 'I knew it I knew it!! Will you sign my arm for me??!! I've always been into Liverpool!!' Me : 'Ok'. So I signed it anyway. Daft cow.
In a petrol station. Guy gets out of a MK1 Capri. Looks at Lambo while I'm stood at the pumps. 'Nice kit mate' (being totally serious). Me : Thanks, yea took me a year to build, based on MR 2 chassis. Bloke : That is some job mate. What engines it got under the bonnet then?' Me : 'Well it is a V12 actually. Made by some company in Italy. Bloke : 'Can I have a look under the bonnet??' Me : 'Yea of course' (putting the pump back). Opens engine cover. Bloke : ' Jesus its even got the proper cam covers on it mate'!! Me : 'Yea, they do a good job these Italian kit car builders'. Bloke (I think then realising it was real) 'Its a real one init??' Me : Yes. Bloke 'sorry mate'.
He Si, hows it going. Was on the back road from Hudds to Holmfirth today, the is a police camera van hidden after one of the bridges, so watch out !!!!
Most people ask me how much i pay to rent it for the day !
Got stopped near to Morrisons in Hudds by the police. They wanted to know about the car, have a look and make sure it wasn't stolen. I had no ID or documents on me so they were going to escort me up the road to the station to make sure it wasnt nicked. I was actually on my way to a friends car showroom in Bradford, i was in front of a truck that had a 360 spider my dad took in part ex for something which was going to be sold. Just as i was about to be 'escorted' to the cop shop i saw the truck coming and knew i had documents in the spider. I flagged the truck down who stopped, police said 'what you doing, 'i have id in my other car which is in the back of this truck' - 'oh right' , unlocked the back went in to get the stuff out the glove box of the spider and gave them the documents for both cars and some ID. 'their faces were quite amusing'
Had a bit of a laugh about it, nice guys, they went on to tell me they had had a chat with a guy with an Orange Lambo at a Petrol station in Shepley, 'i know him' i said.
Met a load of 'boy racers' who have told me their mates can sort me out a body kit that would make it look 'sweet'
Pretty amusing
I was filling up one day in the city (Adelaide, South Australia) and got into the usual chat with a friendly pleasant fellow about the car. He was moderately knowledgeable and talked about how he liked cars, etc etc. Then he asked if he could have a brief ride in the car. I was in the mood, so I said I'd take him around the block.
As we motored off, he mentioned that he lived nearby in a square about half a mile away. I was going that way so I said I would drop him off.
We entered the square and he showed me the drop off point. It was a homeless shelter! As we pulled up, the usual clientele hanging around the front door were somewhat slackjawed as one of their number got dropped at the kerb. He thanked me with a straight face and off I went. Christ knows what he told them!
OK, OK, I know what you are going to say, but he didn't look dangerous - or homeless! Plus, I hadn't had the car long. I've got a bit more cynical since, sadly.
As we motored off, he mentioned that he lived nearby in a square about half a mile away. I was going that way so I said I would drop him off.
We entered the square and he showed me the drop off point. It was a homeless shelter! As we pulled up, the usual clientele hanging around the front door were somewhat slackjawed as one of their number got dropped at the kerb. He thanked me with a straight face and off I went. Christ knows what he told them!
OK, OK, I know what you are going to say, but he didn't look dangerous - or homeless! Plus, I hadn't had the car long. I've got a bit more cynical since, sadly.
Despite the CT being one of the most iconic cars from the 70s and 80s, I occasionally get "Nice Ferrari, love!"
I also had one chap insist that it was a Diablo (despite it having Countach stamped on the rear). As a girl, he reckoned I would never know much about cars, and it obviously had the wrong badge on.
I also had one chap insist that it was a Diablo (despite it having Countach stamped on the rear). As a girl, he reckoned I would never know much about cars, and it obviously had the wrong badge on.
Does the tgi story beat the dog breeder story?
The only thing i ever hear when i take a bird out no matter what car iv been in is " my x had one of these but the newer one ".........
Have you got the dog breeders number????? My x had one like this but it was bigger, lower, orange and had a hole in his exhaust(YES and alot faster)........
>> Edited by bund on Thursday 6th April 09:43
The only thing i ever hear when i take a bird out no matter what car iv been in is " my x had one of these but the newer one ".........
Have you got the dog breeders number????? My x had one like this but it was bigger, lower, orange and had a hole in his exhaust(YES and alot faster)........
>> Edited by bund on Thursday 6th April 09:43
I was with my other half in a petrol staition in northern Italy . It was 10pm on a December night and fr*** cold . The front of the Lambo had snow stuck to it and we were worried that we were going to end up stuck some where. So pretty horrid night.I was busy filling up the car which takes ages on an SV coz the filler neck is so bloody small. I turned around to see two guys dressed in traditional Spanish costumes from about 18 hundred and something playing a guitar while kneeling on the ground in front of the car and my other half. They rattled on for 10 minuets while the odd motorist drove by, totally bizare !! The good old days !
How times have changed I am driving a XR4 these days !
How times have changed I am driving a XR4 these days !
The car's now long gone, and unfortunately most of the stories involve my doing something really rather thick and getting away with it by the skin of my teeth.
I was quite amused, though, when we went out for dinner to this lovely place by the Seine a couple of years ago. We were having pudding when the chef - resplendent in soufflée hat, tunic, chessboard trousers - came out on the térrasse to quiz me about the BB in the car park. I put down the tarte tatin and chivalrously left my wife to it as we went over to check out the engine. His eyes were big as crême brulées. I opened the door so he could have a sit in, but he demurred, pointing to what looked like a hollondaise stain on his uniform. He then motioned me over to the side of the restaurant, smiling conspiratorially. He swung open the garage door with a flourish, and there in beautiful bourdeaux was the slightly porky bum of a Mégane cabriolet.
That's it, really. Oh wait, there was this other time when we came up to a motorway toll near Switzerland and suddenly out popped a hide-and-seek Gend'arme. Does Monsieur have a radar dectector? He dropped to his haunches so he could peer in and instantly locked onto his target like.. Oh I don't know, Airwolf or something. Pointing, absolutely chuffed to bits with himself, at the little handle for the hideaway James Bond sunvisor he turned to me with one eyebrow raised. I pulled down the visor for him and the eyebrow dropped. He grinned, straightened up and made the international hand signal for 'Would sir like to now do an emergency start?' Not wishing to lunch the transmission, it was perhaps initially more of a sedate getaway than either he or I would have liked. I saw him in the mirror, though, ages later, still staring and thankfully not giving chase as I just hadn't stopped accelerating
Happy days.
I was quite amused, though, when we went out for dinner to this lovely place by the Seine a couple of years ago. We were having pudding when the chef - resplendent in soufflée hat, tunic, chessboard trousers - came out on the térrasse to quiz me about the BB in the car park. I put down the tarte tatin and chivalrously left my wife to it as we went over to check out the engine. His eyes were big as crême brulées. I opened the door so he could have a sit in, but he demurred, pointing to what looked like a hollondaise stain on his uniform. He then motioned me over to the side of the restaurant, smiling conspiratorially. He swung open the garage door with a flourish, and there in beautiful bourdeaux was the slightly porky bum of a Mégane cabriolet.
That's it, really. Oh wait, there was this other time when we came up to a motorway toll near Switzerland and suddenly out popped a hide-and-seek Gend'arme. Does Monsieur have a radar dectector? He dropped to his haunches so he could peer in and instantly locked onto his target like.. Oh I don't know, Airwolf or something. Pointing, absolutely chuffed to bits with himself, at the little handle for the hideaway James Bond sunvisor he turned to me with one eyebrow raised. I pulled down the visor for him and the eyebrow dropped. He grinned, straightened up and made the international hand signal for 'Would sir like to now do an emergency start?' Not wishing to lunch the transmission, it was perhaps initially more of a sedate getaway than either he or I would have liked. I saw him in the mirror, though, ages later, still staring and thankfully not giving chase as I just hadn't stopped accelerating
Happy days. Was driving across London, summer evening, roof down... perfect. After pulling up to some lights I noticed the car behind was trying to pull along side. Lights go green, I drive off, the car behind follows. From the way it was driving, I noticed the car was even more desperate to pull along side than before. At the next red light I see someone get out... I thought I must of cut them up earlier and now it's pay back time. With the roof being down, I tried to sink as far into the seat as possible to minimise any impact (being 6'1", its wasn’t happening)! At that point a piece of paper with a phone number, written in lipstick floated on to my lap and a blond stood next to the car, she turned and shouted "nice car - call me", returned to her car, complete with two other blonds and one bloke, never to be seen again. Worryingly the bloke winked as he drove them away!
Best drive of my life and I just had to tell someone...unfortunately the first person I saw that night was my girlfriend... she didn't think the same!
Best drive of my life and I just had to tell someone...unfortunately the first person I saw that night was my girlfriend... she didn't think the same!
RKFerrari said:
Was driving across London, summer evening, roof down... perfect. After pulling up to some lights I noticed the car behind was trying to pull along side. Lights go green, I drive off, the car behind follows. From the way it was driving, I noticed the car was even more desperate to pull along side than before. At the next red light I see someone get out... I thought I must of cut them up earlier and now it's pay back time. With the roof being down, I tried to sink as far into the seat as possible to minimise any impact (being 6'1", its wasn’t happening)! At that point a piece of paper with a phone number, written in lipstick floated on to my lap and a blond stood next to the car, she turned and shouted "nice car - call me", returned to her car, complete with two other blonds and one bloke, never to be seen again. Worryingly the bloke winked as he drove them away!
Best drive of my life and I just had to tell someone...unfortunately the first person I saw that night was my girlfriend... she didn't think the same!
you still got the phone number ???????????
>> Edited by steve f on Friday 7th April 07:53
steve f said:
Was driving across London, summer evening, roof down... perfect. After pulling up to some lights I noticed the car behind was trying to pull along side. Lights go green, I drive off, the car behind follows. From the way it was driving, I noticed the car was even more desperate to pull along side than before. At the next red light I see someone get out... I thought I must of cut them up earlier and now it's pay back time. With the roof being down, I tried to sink as far into the seat as possible to minimise any impact (being 6'1", its wasn’t happening)! At that point a piece of paper with a phone number, written in lipstick floated on to my lap and a blond stood next to the car, she turned and shouted "nice car - call me", returned to her car, complete with two other blonds and one bloke, never to be seen again. Worryingly the bloke winked as he drove them away!
Best drive of my life and I just had to tell someone...unfortunately the first person I saw that night was my girlfriend... she didn't think the same!
you still got the phone number ???????????
>> Edited by steve f on Friday 7th April 07:53
Sorry to say no, prob a good thing, what with the girlfreind...
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