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A police officer pulled over a driver who had been weaving in and out of the lanes. He approached the car window and said, “Sir, I need you to blow into this breathalyser”.
The man immediately reached into his pocket and produced a doctor's note. On it was written: This man suffers from terrible asthma. Please don’t make him perform any action that will leave him short of breath.
The officer said, “Alright then, I need you to come and give a blood sample”.
Straightaway, the man produced another letter. This one read: This man is a haemophiliac. Please do not cause him to bleed in any way.'
So the police officer said, “Right, I need a urine sample then”.
The man produced a third letter from his pocket. It read, This man plays for the England Cricket Team. Please don't take the piss out of him.’
The man immediately reached into his pocket and produced a doctor's note. On it was written: This man suffers from terrible asthma. Please don’t make him perform any action that will leave him short of breath.
The officer said, “Alright then, I need you to come and give a blood sample”.
Straightaway, the man produced another letter. This one read: This man is a haemophiliac. Please do not cause him to bleed in any way.'
So the police officer said, “Right, I need a urine sample then”.
The man produced a third letter from his pocket. It read, This man plays for the England Cricket Team. Please don't take the piss out of him.’
and then....
Billy was at school this morning and the teacher asked all the children what their fathers did for a living.
All the typical answers came out, fireman, policeman, salesman, chippy, captain of industry etc, but Billy was being uncharacteristically quiet and so the teacher asked him about his father.
"My father is an exotic dancer in a gay club and takes off all his clothes in front of other men. Sometimes if the offer is really good, he'll go out with a man, rent a cheap hotel room and let them sleep with him."
The teacher quickly set the other children some work and took little Billy aside to ask him if that was really true.
"No" said Billy, "He plays cricket for England but I was just too embarrassed to say."
Billy was at school this morning and the teacher asked all the children what their fathers did for a living.
All the typical answers came out, fireman, policeman, salesman, chippy, captain of industry etc, but Billy was being uncharacteristically quiet and so the teacher asked him about his father.
"My father is an exotic dancer in a gay club and takes off all his clothes in front of other men. Sometimes if the offer is really good, he'll go out with a man, rent a cheap hotel room and let them sleep with him."
The teacher quickly set the other children some work and took little Billy aside to ask him if that was really true.
"No" said Billy, "He plays cricket for England but I was just too embarrassed to say."
J. J. said:
A police officer pulled over a driver who had been weaving in and out of the lanes. He approached the car window and said, “Sir, I need you to blow into this breathalyser”.
The man immediately reached into his pocket and produced a doctor's note. On it was written: This man suffers from terrible asthma. Please don’t make him perform any action that will leave him short of breath.
The officer said, “Alright then, I need you to come and give a blood sample”.
Straightaway, the man produced another letter. This one read: This man is a haemophiliac. Please do not cause him to bleed in any way.'
So the police officer said, “Right, I need a urine sample then”.
The man produced a third letter from his pocket. It read, This man plays for the England Cricket Team. Please don't take the piss out of him.’
The man immediately reached into his pocket and produced a doctor's note. On it was written: This man suffers from terrible asthma. Please don’t make him perform any action that will leave him short of breath.
The officer said, “Alright then, I need you to come and give a blood sample”.
Straightaway, the man produced another letter. This one read: This man is a haemophiliac. Please do not cause him to bleed in any way.'
So the police officer said, “Right, I need a urine sample then”.
The man produced a third letter from his pocket. It read, This man plays for the England Cricket Team. Please don't take the piss out of him.’
have one of these
bob1179 said:
J. J. said:
A police officer pulled over a driver who had been weaving in and out of the lanes. He approached the car window and said, “Sir, I need you to blow into this breathalyser”.
The man immediately reached into his pocket and produced a doctor's note. On it was written: This man suffers from terrible asthma. Please don’t make him perform any action that will leave him short of breath.
The officer said, “Alright then, I need you to come and give a blood sample”.
Straightaway, the man produced another letter. This one read: This man is a haemophiliac. Please do not cause him to bleed in any way.'
So the police officer said, “Right, I need a urine sample then”.
The man produced a third letter from his pocket. It read, This man plays for the England Cricket Team. Please don't take the piss out of him.’
The man immediately reached into his pocket and produced a doctor's note. On it was written: This man suffers from terrible asthma. Please don’t make him perform any action that will leave him short of breath.
The officer said, “Alright then, I need you to come and give a blood sample”.
Straightaway, the man produced another letter. This one read: This man is a haemophiliac. Please do not cause him to bleed in any way.'
So the police officer said, “Right, I need a urine sample then”.
The man produced a third letter from his pocket. It read, This man plays for the England Cricket Team. Please don't take the piss out of him.’
have one of these
Could someone get these notes laminated for me - just in case I spill my drink
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