Discussion
A small zoo recently opened in Sunderland and acquired a very rare species of gorilla. Within a
few weeks the gorilla, a female, became very difficult to handle.
Upon examination, the veterinarian determined the problem. The gorilla was
in season. To make matters worse, there was no male gorilla available.
Thinking about their problem, the Zoo Keeper thought of Barry, a local chap from Red-ouse estate,
& part-time worker responsible for cleaning the animal cages.
Barry, like many Makem folk, had little sense but possessed ample ability to
satisfy a female of any species. The Zoo Keeper thought they might have a
solution. Barry was approached with a proposition.
Would he be willing to mate with the gorilla for £500?
Barry showed some interest, but said he would have
to think the matter over carefully.
The following day, he announced that he would accept their offer, but only
under four conditions:
1. "First", Barry said, "Ah'm not gonna kiss er on the lips like." The Keeper
quickly agreed to this condition.
2. "Second", he said, "Yeh cannit eveh tell neh-one abowt this." The Keeper
again readily agreed to this condition.
3. "Third", Barry said, "a want arll the bairns raised as sunlun fans." Once
again it was agreed.
4. "And last of all", Barry stated, "Yeh gonna av tu give us another week to
come up with the five-undred notes like"
In a city park stood two statues, one female and the other male. These two statues faced each other for many years.
Early one morning an angel appeared before the statues and said, "Since the two of you have been exemplary statues and have brought enjoyment to many people, I am giving you your greatest wish. I hereby give you the gift of life. You have 30 minutes to do whatever you desire." And with that command, the statues came to life.
The two statues smiled at each other, ran toward some nearby woods and dove behind a couple of bushes. The angel smiled to himself as he listened to the two statues giggling, bushes rustling and twigs snapping.
After 15 minutes, the two statues emerged from the bushes, satisfied and smiling. Puzzled, the angel looked at his watch and asked the statues, "You still have 15 minutes. Would you like to continue?"
The male statue looked at the female and asked, "Do you want to do it again?"
Smiling, the female statue said, "Sure. But this time YOU hold the pigeon down and I'LL poo on it's head!"
Early one morning an angel appeared before the statues and said, "Since the two of you have been exemplary statues and have brought enjoyment to many people, I am giving you your greatest wish. I hereby give you the gift of life. You have 30 minutes to do whatever you desire." And with that command, the statues came to life.
The two statues smiled at each other, ran toward some nearby woods and dove behind a couple of bushes. The angel smiled to himself as he listened to the two statues giggling, bushes rustling and twigs snapping.
After 15 minutes, the two statues emerged from the bushes, satisfied and smiling. Puzzled, the angel looked at his watch and asked the statues, "You still have 15 minutes. Would you like to continue?"
The male statue looked at the female and asked, "Do you want to do it again?"
Smiling, the female statue said, "Sure. But this time YOU hold the pigeon down and I'LL poo on it's head!"
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