Dumbest winter 'off'
Discussion
I thought that the stoopidist falling off of the winter might provide sport, merriment and chuckleascious guffaws for readers: so here is mine.
Cambridge, near Bourn.
Riding the Strom home early last November, an unusally cold notherly wind and sleety snow blowing straight into the face. I was 1 mile from home on the slippery unlit back lanes at around 7pm. Dark, crap visibilty, hands like blocks of ice, couldnt even operate the clutch properly. Just wanted to get home etc. Hadnt put the winter gear on yet, so freezing, shivering and wet.
I had to turn left into the final lane. I signalled left and car turning right in front of me nips across because now he has right of way because I have to give way at the triangle.
Bollox thinks I as I try to operate hands that are about as useful as Davros on Dr Who. Just about stop, left leg goes to ground but, NO GROUND
.
Did I mention, Ich bin ein Stumpig. 5ft8 on a Strom is OK when you are dry warm and nimble, Oh, and there is ground. No ground you see because nice council havent filled up the potholes from winter 2003 and massive camber combine to thwart.
Numbnuts here lands in seriously prickly hedge with Strom nuzzling me to keep me warm.
So, I'm lying there watching smug Porker driver stop, look at me, and pizz off quick thinking " Once I warm up, will I feel the breaks?".
Anyhow, a saintly bike rider (too sensible to be on a bike) stops and says "can I be of assistance because I ride a bike too".
"Not at the moment thanks", says I, " I would like to warm up for a few minutes because it is nice and cosy lying here". So I starts laughing like the village idiot because it is utterly absurd, lying beneath the behemoth warming up my frozen parts. Luckily, he saw the funny side too, and didnt think I was the mad axeman.
With much grunting and slipping, I extricate myself and finally we get the bike up. Bloody hard on sleety ground when you are a sharp incline. His suit, jacket and shoes are now completely minging.
So, no breaks, one bent peg and a few scratches. My lucky day!
I do not know who the chap was, but if you are reading this thanks a bunch, I couldnt have got the bike up. I was cream crackered.
R.
Cambridge, near Bourn.
Riding the Strom home early last November, an unusally cold notherly wind and sleety snow blowing straight into the face. I was 1 mile from home on the slippery unlit back lanes at around 7pm. Dark, crap visibilty, hands like blocks of ice, couldnt even operate the clutch properly. Just wanted to get home etc. Hadnt put the winter gear on yet, so freezing, shivering and wet.
I had to turn left into the final lane. I signalled left and car turning right in front of me nips across because now he has right of way because I have to give way at the triangle.
Bollox thinks I as I try to operate hands that are about as useful as Davros on Dr Who. Just about stop, left leg goes to ground but, NO GROUND
. Did I mention, Ich bin ein Stumpig. 5ft8 on a Strom is OK when you are dry warm and nimble, Oh, and there is ground. No ground you see because nice council havent filled up the potholes from winter 2003 and massive camber combine to thwart.
Numbnuts here lands in seriously prickly hedge with Strom nuzzling me to keep me warm.
So, I'm lying there watching smug Porker driver stop, look at me, and pizz off quick thinking " Once I warm up, will I feel the breaks?".
Anyhow, a saintly bike rider (too sensible to be on a bike) stops and says "can I be of assistance because I ride a bike too".
"Not at the moment thanks", says I, " I would like to warm up for a few minutes because it is nice and cosy lying here". So I starts laughing like the village idiot because it is utterly absurd, lying beneath the behemoth warming up my frozen parts. Luckily, he saw the funny side too, and didnt think I was the mad axeman.
With much grunting and slipping, I extricate myself and finally we get the bike up. Bloody hard on sleety ground when you are a sharp incline. His suit, jacket and shoes are now completely minging.
So, no breaks, one bent peg and a few scratches. My lucky day!
I do not know who the chap was, but if you are reading this thanks a bunch, I couldnt have got the bike up. I was cream crackered.
R.
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