Clarkson has another go...
Clarkson has another go...
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Mon Ami Mate

Original Poster:

6,589 posts

291 months

Friday 14th October 2005
quotequote all
In the latest Top Gear mag Clarkson has another go at bikers. It's a bit more reasoned and seriously expressed. I do think noise is an issue that does us some serious harm in the eyes of the general public. The proposed new limits are ridiculous though...

Clarkson on motorbike madness

As you may have heard, there are proposals to cut the noise that a motorcycle can make from 3,400 decibels, at which point human heads have been known to explode, to 74 decibels, which is around the same as a hairdryer.

What's more, it would not only be illegal for a manufacturer to sell a noisy bike, but it would also be against the law to tamper with the exhaust and then ride a noisy motorcycle.

Under the scheme, offenders would have their bikes confiscated. It was predictable, of course, that Richard Hammond would convulse in spasms of righteous indignation at the news because he's the sort of biker who wears green and white Power Ranger romper suits and enjoys riding around on those bikes where the handlebars are all droopy and there are many vivid decals on the petrol tank.

'James May is different. He rides around very carefully and indicates with his arms'
James May is different. He rides around very carefully, refusing to overtake even the slowest moving bus. He indicates with his arms, wears Kenneth Moore goggles and refuses to deviate from a perfectly perpendicular riding position. It's almost as though he thinks he has an imaginary sidecar alongside.

So I assumed that he'd approve of the cut. But no. He was just as vehement as Hamster. It's therefore up to me to be the voice of reason. You see, I live near to one of those Cotswold roads which, whenever the sun comes out, plays host to approximately half-a-million city boys on their PQRSTTTs.

So, apart from a brief break at lunchtime when they all go to the pub for some bitter lemon and exaggeration, you absolutely cannot hear yourself think. Some days, when the weather is really good, the only way of keeping my sanity is by dreaming up new and imaginative ways I'd pay these people back.
Yesterday, I thought I'd turn Richard Hammond into a sort of mushy pulp and hose him through an offender's letter box, as an example. Or maybe, I could just follow one of them home - not hard, bikes are pretty damn slow on the twisty roads up here - and indulge in my passion for Seventies prog rock in a powerful boom box, at four in the morning outside the culprit's house.

It's weird this, because normally, I do believe that it's vital to live and let live. If someone wants to be a Pakistani, and live in Bradford, then that's fine by me. Why should I care if he supports the Pakistani team when they play England at cricket?

It's the same story with bird watchers. I think it's pretty idiotic to sit in a bush, listening to your hair grow, in the hope you'll see a bird that you know is there anyway. And I have similar views on those who like to be tied up and whipped.

'A microlighter's pleasure, I suspect, far outweighs the pain the drone causes other people'
Generally speaking, I don't even mind when someone else's passion is a mild irritant for other people. Microlighting, for instance. In anything above a light breeze, these airborne lawnmowers hang in the sky, making no headway at all for about six hours at a time, ruining the peace for everyone within 50 miles. But their pleasure, I suspect, far outweighs the pain the drone causes other people.

I don't even get cross when people use their mobile phones on the train. Usually because I'm miles away, in a car. But even when I am on a train and they're sitting next to me, it's really not the end of the world.

One side of someone else's conversation can often be quite entertaining. Once I even got a share tip that worked out. And it's better than listening to the clatter of steel on steel.
There are exceptions to this, however. I'm talking about behaviour so antisocial that it can drive even Patience McPatience into a furry of rock-throwing rage. Environmentalism, for a kick-off.

The idea that the world should spend more averting climate control, over which we may - or may not - have any control, than we spend providing drinking water for the starving and diseased of Africa. That kind of thing really pisses me off.

And then there's campanology. Those who think it is perfectly acceptable to climb a church tower six nights a week and allow everyone within five miles to hear them 'practising' for an event that no-one goes to anyway. i.e. church. Why can't they take up the piano instead. Then we wouldn't have to listen to them getting it all wrong.

It's a tradition, they say. Yes, it is. Like burning witches and persecuting Catholics. Two other traditional church pastimes that have been dropped.

'I'm not scared of bikers at all. If they crash into my car, they crumple and I go home and have supper'
Biking falls into the same category as bell ringing. You can still wear your leather romper suit. You can still accelerate from 60 to 150 in minus 1.3 seconds. You can still crash and die so that someone in need of a spleen may live. But you absolutely do not need to deafen everyone in the process.

Hammond says that this is part of the appeal of biking, the sense that you're being a bit rebellious, and yes, even a bit frightening. I think he likes to think he's something of a Hell's Angel, but it's hard to be scared of a man whose feet don't touch the ground when he's on his Yamuki Davidson.

And it's hard to conceive any situation that would make James scary. Even if he leapt out of a forest on a dark night, brandishing a blood spattered axe and going "grrrrrrrrr", he'd still be good, old affable James. I'm sorry. I'm not scared of bikers at all. If they crash into my car, they crumple and I go home and have supper.
And if they were to chase me on foot I'd get away, because it's hard to run when you're encased in leather. That's why cows are so slow.

At this point, I'm sure, some of you will be accusing me of hypocrisy because I've spent the last 15 years enthusing about loud cars. This is true. I love the sound of an American V8 or an Italian V12. I love the way cars bark, and bellow and wail.

And sure, Hammond and May like the sound of a massively amplified mosquito. They probably like burglar alarms, too. And drum 'n' bass. Or bass 'n' drum as Hammond called it the other day.

But here's the thing. Most of the noise that comes from a modern car is made by the tyres. And that is now being addressed by dimpled road surfaces that collect the sound and absorb it into the earth.

'If Hammond and May want to try and be frightening and rebellious, that is, of course, fine'
Only a very few cars are truly noisy, and they're owned by people who would never dream of accelerating high enough into the rev band for that little valve in the exhaust to work its acoustic magic.

I'd like to bet that the majority of people reading this have never heard a Ferrari or an Aston at full chat. Whereas everyone, except for a handful of sheep farmers on Dartmoor, knows exactly what a bike sounds like at speed. Because all bikes are noisy, there are thousands of them and they're bought specifically to be thrill machines.

I say again: they can be just that, without pissing everyone else off. If Hammond and May want to try and be frightening and rebellious, that is, of course, fine.

I don't care if they go to the woods every night and drink one another's blood; they can sacrifice as many goats as takes their collective fancy. But what they're being at the moment, with their loud exhaust pipes is annoying. And that's not cool at all.

dazren

22,612 posts

284 months

Friday 14th October 2005
quotequote all
Loud exhausts are a major safety feature alerting inattentive drivers/pedestrians of a bikers presence. Clarkson has totally failed to take this into account in his ramblings. IMHO legislation making quiet exhausts compulsory will lead to an increase in the number of accidents/deaths onm the roads.

DAZ

YamR1,V64motion

5,735 posts

247 months

Friday 14th October 2005
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its got to the point where i dont let his views piss me off anymore,i dont like him or his views and i will leave it at that,i cant be assed to sit here and say what a tosser because its exactly the kind of thing ive come to expect.

targarama

14,717 posts

306 months

Friday 14th October 2005
quotequote all
dazren said:
Loud exhausts are a major safety feature alerting inattentive drivers/pedestrians of a bikers presence. Clarkson has totally failed to take this into account in his ramblings. IMHO legislation making quiet exhausts compulsory will lead to an increase in the number of accidents/deaths onm the roads.

DAZ


Quiet bikes are still quite noisy though (does that make sense?). I don't think Clarkson wants them to be so quiet they don't sound sporty and mean.

Maybe Clarkson should go and live in Southern France or Italy where every teenager has a 150db 1hp moped which does 15mph flat out, then enjoys ripping around villages every evening. Now that is annoying.

Mon Ami Mate

Original Poster:

6,589 posts

291 months

Friday 14th October 2005
quotequote all
dazren said:
Loud exhausts are a major safety feature alerting inattentive drivers/pedestrians of a bikers presence. Clarkson has totally failed to take this into account in his ramblings. IMHO legislation making quiet exhausts compulsory will lead to an increase in the number of accidents/deaths onm the roads.

DAZ


I don't really buy this argument I'm afraid. The rider should always be aware of inattentive drivers/pedestrians, because the rider has most to lose. Needing to rely on exhaust noise as a safety device is really clutching at straws.

There is no excuse for a really loud exhaust on the road. You've (I think) been behind me on my 1200 when I've been making progress - it makes very little exhaust noise at all (although it makes some fairly evil induction noises ). Not much comes past me when I'm in a determined mood, and a race exhaust certainly won't make a great deal of difference to road performance. It is different on a track, where bikes are in classes and a tenth of a second is the difference between winning or losing.

Using loud exhausts on the road merely draws negative attention to bikes and makes us the focus of more swingeing legislation from the righteously indignant.

Mad Dave

7,158 posts

286 months

Friday 14th October 2005
quotequote all
To be fair to Clarkson, he does have a point, though he is making mountain out of a molehill.

Bikes with race cans do make an awful lot of noise, and I know that when my family are in the garden enjoying a warm summer's evening, they hear me approximately 2 miles before I arrive home. Thing is though, that is the only time they do hear me - if they're in the house then they only hear me when I ride onto the driveway. If I arrive home after about 8pm, I pull the clutch in and coast through the village so as not to wake up any slumbering children. Most of my friends have race exhausts too, and again, I only hear them any distance away if I'm outside. It's really not that big a problem.

As a Police officer once said to me "provided you're not wailing past Mrs Miggins' house at 3am, there's really no problem".

Oh, and i'm afraid I don't buy the 'race cans save lives' thing, the race can on my bike has been cut down by a third and really does make a huge racket, yet people still pull out of junctions in front of me. How they can miss a lime green motorcycle with it's headlight on and it's rider wearing silver reflective clothing I have no idea, but they do.

veetwin

1,573 posts

280 months

Friday 14th October 2005
quotequote all
I have an idea:

I'll just go home and remove my Titanium Yoshi RS-5 which has a measured output of 98DB. Whilst I'm doing this all you people out there sporting Tubi, Janspeed, Magnex, etc. exhausts systems can hop off Clarkson's Cool Wagon, pop home and remove those as well. Then we will approach the Lax Power brigade and force them to remove their Galvanised Drain pipes from their Corsas, VTRs and Novas. That should please everyone. Including the government. We can appease EU legislation and all the tree huggers can be happier in the knowledge that their quest for equilibrium and paradise is closer.

I was out in my back garden enjoying a few sherbets and a bbq during the summer (seems a long time ago now). Some of the neighbours were doing the same. They own a few of those children things. The noise that those babies make!! It went on and on continuously for around a whole hour. Even boy racer's exhausts were drowned out as they went past. In the same reasoning I think that we should cull all children under the age of 5.

dazren

22,612 posts

284 months

Friday 14th October 2005
quotequote all
Mon Ami Mate said:


dazren said:
Loud exhausts are a major safety feature alerting inattentive drivers/pedestrians of a bikers presence. Clarkson has totally failed to take this into account in his ramblings. IMHO legislation making quiet exhausts compulsory will lead to an increase in the number of accidents/deaths onm the roads.

DAZ


I don't really buy this argument I'm afraid. The rider should always be aware of inattentive drivers/pedestrians, because the rider has most to lose. Needing to rely on exhaust noise as a safety device is really clutching at straws.


Which bit of the argument don't you agree with:

Loud exhausts wake up inattentive drivers making the roads safer?

or

With quieter exhausts, inattentive drivers will be less aware of bikers and thus there will be a higher chance of accidents?


Totally agree with your comment that loud exhausts are no substitute for a defensive riding technique, assuming everyone else on the road hasn't seen you etc. However I don't believe the safety benefits of bike exhausts that are noisy enough that they can be heard by car drivers can should be ignored, as Clarkson has done in his article.

DAZ

>> Edited by dazren on Friday 14th October 12:42

dern

14,055 posts

302 months

Friday 14th October 2005
quotequote all
I regularly go through the process of looking for a cheap race can for my blade, mulling it over and deciding not to get one after hearing a bike go by with one on. Sure it sounds better but it is too loud and I don't need any extra attention and don't wish to give any more warning of my impending arrival than I already do.

Mark

s2ooz

3,005 posts

307 months

Friday 14th October 2005
quotequote all
So, very few people here a ferrari on full chat? So by that, we are led to believe, if we did, we should like it, and not complain?

So if everyone buys a ferrari and drives round the cotswolds on sunday, Mr C would not have a problem?

ah, but he would. because at the moment its rare. And that is the only reason.

Howver even commenting on his statements is wrong, he makes thought provoking columns weekly, generally you can disagree, but there is always a 'tother side of the coin arguement he spouts that is worthy of note.
In the end, his comments won't effect government policy, and don't effect me. leave him to it. I find his alternate take on things interesting.

stooz, race can owner, who lives near the cotswolds
You are all welcome to join me for s spin past his house anytime you like!

Mon Ami Mate

Original Poster:

6,589 posts

291 months

Friday 14th October 2005
quotequote all
dazren said:


Which bit of the argument don't you agree with:

Loud exhausts wake up inattentive drivers making the roads safer?

or

With quieter exhausts, inattentive drivers will be less aware of bikers and thus there will be a higher chance of accidents?


Totally agree with your comment that loud exhausts are no substitute for a defensive riding technique, assuming everyone else on the road hasn't seen you etc. However I don't believe the safety benefits of bike exhausts that are noisy enough that they can be heard by car drivers can should be ignored, as Clarkson has done in his article.

DAZ



In my humble experience both of these arguments don't stack up on the road. An inattentive driver may hear an exhaust (but probably won't), but chances are that he or she will continue regardless. A deliberately arrogant driver just won't give a stuff either way.

I've had loud exhausts in the past and noticed no difference in the behaviour of other road users as a result. Numpties are numpties, no matter how much noise your exhaust makes. What I did notice was a difference in the number of times that I was pulled by Police, and their attitudes towards me once I had been pulled. I've long since come to the conclusion that loud exhausts do not make you safer and are not worth the hassle.

Mad Dave

7,158 posts

286 months

Friday 14th October 2005
quotequote all
Malcolm> So far i've not had an iota of Police trouble with my exhaust. I actually rode past a Police biker by the side of the road the other day. He was stood next to his bike, looking towards me as I rounded the corner - I was doing 30mph in a 30mph limit and as I approached him he feined interest in the side of his bike and completely ignored me!

Had my bike not had a race can on it when I bought it, I doubt I would have fitted one - i'd rather ride stealthily, but the expense of changing it for an OEM silencer has so far meant the race exhaust is still present.





Plus, if i'm completely honest, I love the noise it makes


>> Edited by Mad Dave on Friday 14th October 13:52

Mon Ami Mate

Original Poster:

6,589 posts

291 months

Friday 14th October 2005
quotequote all
Mad Dave said:
Malcolm> So far i've not had an iota of Police trouble with my exhaust. I actually rode past a Police biker by the side of the road the other day. He was stood next to his bike, looking towards me as I rounded the corner - I was doing 30mph in a 30mph limit and as I approached him he feined interest in the side of his bike and completely ignored me!

Had my bike not had a race can on it when I bought it, I doubt I would have fitted one - i'd rather ride stealthily, but the expense of changing it for an OEM silencer has so far meant the race exhaust is still present.





Plus, if i'm completely honest, I love the noise it makes


>> Edited by Mad Dave on Friday 14th October 13:52


Don't get me wrong, I love the noise they make too. You have been lucky with the Police so far - and the chances are you may continue to be so for quite some time. After all, speed cameras can't measure decibels. Thing is though, you only need one unfortunate meeting with a copper who decides to apply the letter of the law for the whole thing to become rapidly unpleasant.

You will get a producer, he will take pleasure in looking for other things to nick you for and you will need to go out and buy a new, road legal, exhaust. If the proposed new regs are implemented, buying that newly legal exhaust will be a process that causes some severe GBH to your wallet. The people we have to blame for the new regs are the minority who have really taken the piss in the past.

In the meantime, Mrs Miggins who moans about your race can will be the same Mrs Miggins who pulls out in front of you in her Micra regardless of how many decibles you are emitting.

Mad Dave

7,158 posts

286 months

Friday 14th October 2005
quotequote all
You are of course correct. I did buy, on eBay, a very battered OEM silencer, for the princely sum of £10, to fit in the event of an accident (before the assessor pops round!) but it really is in a sorry state and I wouldn't trust it to even stay on the bike long term, hence its sat in the workshop. If it all got nasty i'm sure I could bodge it on for the sake of an MOT.

As I say, i'm pretty considerate with the noise I emit, and always coast through villages once the hour gets a little late.

micron750

845 posts

255 months

Friday 14th October 2005
quotequote all
yet Mr clarkson could out into his garden and turn on his lawn mower which is rated at 94 dba's or more but of course that's ok.

I also agree that a louder exhust also acts to remind some of those dozy car drivers that you are there behind them.

Robbo SPS

195 posts

257 months

Saturday 15th October 2005
quotequote all
dazren said:
Loud exhausts are a major safety feature alerting inattentive drivers/pedestrians of a bikers presence. Clarkson has totally failed to take this into account in his ramblings. IMHO legislation making quiet exhausts compulsory will lead to an increase in the number of accidents/deaths onm the roads.

DAZ


I used to disagree, but will be looking for a louder can, still road legal, at the bike show.

YamR1,V64motion

5,735 posts

247 months

Saturday 15th October 2005
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does anyone know what the db level of he average full race system is?

m1spw

5,999 posts

248 months

Saturday 15th October 2005
quotequote all
I really don't see what his problem is. If all the bikes that went past his house sounded like mine (i.e. scooter) then I could understand it. But its not, bikes don't actually sound that much different to a car, but he can't slag them off because he'd lose his job.

Basically, he's a ct targeting the minority and fuelling public anger towards us.

_VTEC_

2,453 posts

268 months

Saturday 15th October 2005
quotequote all
You can't really take Clarkson's arguments seriously. He's half comedian, half motoring journalist.

I see what he's saying about bikes being fecking loud though, I've had to purchase ear plugs because of all the bikes hooning past my window at 2am when all I want to do is sleep.

However, a Duke pulled a wheelie at the junction outside my flat and I must say it gave me a bit of a semi.

456mgt

2,513 posts

289 months

Saturday 15th October 2005
quotequote all
s2ooz said:
So, very few people here a ferrari on full chat? So by that, we are led to believe, if we did, we should like it, and not complain?

So if everyone buys a ferrari and drives round the cotswolds on sunday, Mr C would not have a problem?

ah, but he would. because at the moment its rare. And that is the only reason.

Howver even commenting on his statements is wrong, he makes thought provoking columns weekly, generally you can disagree, but there is always a 'tother side of the coin arguement he spouts that is worthy of note.
In the end, his comments won't effect government policy, and don't effect me. leave him to it. I find his alternate take on things interesting.

stooz, race can owner, who lives near the cotswolds
You are all welcome to join me for s spin past his house anytime you like!
Agree completely. If they do this to bikes, cars are next and that would really, really dick me off. Besides, we get a lot of sports bike round my way, and I rather like the sound. S2ooz is quite right about the rarity of V8 and V12 cars being the only differentiator. In fact I'm tempted to haul across to the Cotswolds tomorrow and do some fly pasts of Clarksons house in the Stradale. Race cats, race mufflers, and wayyyy louder than any sports bike. Chipping Norton isn't it? Too bad I don't have the actual location ( hint)