Biker dad struggling to justify going back to 2 wheels
Discussion
Hi all,
First post here although I have been visiting the site for about a year now.
I am currently in a bit of a dilemma. I got into bikes about 10 years ago culminating in me owning a Ducati 748 as my last bike. I sold this bike about 18 months ago following the birth of my son because:
a) I had no time to ride the bike at weekends and evenings
b) I became highly aware of my relatively precarious situation every time I got on the bike, and would wonder how my wife would explain to our son why his dad wasn't alive i.e. was silly enough to carry on doing something risky when he needn't have.
However, with summer coming, the inner demons are calling me again to get a bike. Granted, nothing has really changed in my life other than my son getting a bit older (now nearly 3) and me now getting a bit more of my time back. Coupled to my office moving another 5 miles down the road (65 miles away), the relentless rising cost of fuel (esp. diesel), I am beginning to think that a bike 'might' start making sense.
My question - are there any dads out there that have had the same conscience wrestling match and how did you justify your final decision (either way, not doing the bike thing or continuing with it)?
All a bit of a pickle really!
First post here although I have been visiting the site for about a year now.
I am currently in a bit of a dilemma. I got into bikes about 10 years ago culminating in me owning a Ducati 748 as my last bike. I sold this bike about 18 months ago following the birth of my son because:
a) I had no time to ride the bike at weekends and evenings
b) I became highly aware of my relatively precarious situation every time I got on the bike, and would wonder how my wife would explain to our son why his dad wasn't alive i.e. was silly enough to carry on doing something risky when he needn't have.
However, with summer coming, the inner demons are calling me again to get a bike. Granted, nothing has really changed in my life other than my son getting a bit older (now nearly 3) and me now getting a bit more of my time back. Coupled to my office moving another 5 miles down the road (65 miles away), the relentless rising cost of fuel (esp. diesel), I am beginning to think that a bike 'might' start making sense.
My question - are there any dads out there that have had the same conscience wrestling match and how did you justify your final decision (either way, not doing the bike thing or continuing with it)?
All a bit of a pickle really!
hogfisch said:
Hi all,
First post here although I have been visiting the site for about a year now.
I am currently in a bit of a dilemma. I got into bikes about 10 years ago culminating in me owning a Ducati 748 as my last bike. I sold this bike about 18 months ago following the birth of my son because:
a) I had no time to ride the bike at weekends and evenings
b) I became highly aware of my relatively precarious situation every time I got on the bike, and would wonder how my wife would explain to our son why his dad wasn't alive i.e. was silly enough to carry on doing something risky when he needn't have.
However, with summer coming, the inner demons are calling me again to get a bike. Granted, nothing has really changed in my life other than my son getting a bit older (now nearly 3) and me now getting a bit more of my time back. Coupled to my office moving another 5 miles down the road (65 miles away), the relentless rising cost of fuel (esp. diesel), I am beginning to think that a bike 'might' start making sense.
My question - are there any dads out there that have had the same conscience wrestling match and how did you justify your final decision (either way, not doing the bike thing or continuing with it)?
All a bit of a pickle really!
I know exactly how you feel. I had bikes from 16-31 years old but was fortunate enough to have a big accident, from which I limped away (after a year of twice a week physio) with...only a slight limp. But my wife, daughter and new baby, coming in 5 weeks, would never forgive me.First post here although I have been visiting the site for about a year now.
I am currently in a bit of a dilemma. I got into bikes about 10 years ago culminating in me owning a Ducati 748 as my last bike. I sold this bike about 18 months ago following the birth of my son because:
a) I had no time to ride the bike at weekends and evenings
b) I became highly aware of my relatively precarious situation every time I got on the bike, and would wonder how my wife would explain to our son why his dad wasn't alive i.e. was silly enough to carry on doing something risky when he needn't have.
However, with summer coming, the inner demons are calling me again to get a bike. Granted, nothing has really changed in my life other than my son getting a bit older (now nearly 3) and me now getting a bit more of my time back. Coupled to my office moving another 5 miles down the road (65 miles away), the relentless rising cost of fuel (esp. diesel), I am beginning to think that a bike 'might' start making sense.
My question - are there any dads out there that have had the same conscience wrestling match and how did you justify your final decision (either way, not doing the bike thing or continuing with it)?
All a bit of a pickle really!
So I've decided I need a fun car. It'll cost more, it'll be slower, it'll take more space, but I guess it'll be safer too.
Just my experience, doubt if it'll help you. But I would say don't be fooled into thinking there's a safer kind of bike. If you're a good rider, then they're all equally safe, except perhaps the desperately underpowered ones.
Good luck...
hogfisch said:
My question - are there any dads out there that have had the same conscience wrestling match and how did you justify your final decision (either way, not doing the bike thing or continuing with it)?
I've got 4 young kids and have had bikes all the time since they were born, I don't try to justify anything I just ride a bike. I think you can get too hung up about the 'what if' but life goes on (too quickly, sometimes) and you can miss it if you're always waiting, always looking for justification. I'm not trying to get you on a bike if you don't want to but only you know if you 'really' want to or not.
Yes, very good question.
I carried on riding my bike mainly because I know that I can be happy riding at a level which doesn't expose myself to too massive a level of risk which would be untenable for me to entertain as a parent. It all comes down to a personal question of how much risk you think you can expose yourself to without being cavalier towards your responsibilities. Different people will have wildly different ideas about them, will also have wildly different ideas about the level of risk a certain activity actually presents and will also have wildly different ideas about what sort of things they like to do for fun. You basically have to balance that in yourself and make sure anyone else who counts in on board. Easy eh?
Does that make any sort of sense? I'm quite tired.
Personally I thought life would be intolerable without it and I'd be as miserable as sin. I convinced myself I rode slowly and safely enough because I was a coward such that I'd be relatively safe. I decided to knock riding around as quickly as possible on a sunday and just do the commute on the bike. I thought my girls would find bikes exciting and not doing this sort of thing would lead to the kind of experience vacuum I grew up with for them. I explained all this to the wife and she was surprised I'd even considered giving up biking and told me not to be so daft
I carried on riding my bike mainly because I know that I can be happy riding at a level which doesn't expose myself to too massive a level of risk which would be untenable for me to entertain as a parent. It all comes down to a personal question of how much risk you think you can expose yourself to without being cavalier towards your responsibilities. Different people will have wildly different ideas about them, will also have wildly different ideas about the level of risk a certain activity actually presents and will also have wildly different ideas about what sort of things they like to do for fun. You basically have to balance that in yourself and make sure anyone else who counts in on board. Easy eh?
Does that make any sort of sense? I'm quite tired.
Personally I thought life would be intolerable without it and I'd be as miserable as sin. I convinced myself I rode slowly and safely enough because I was a coward such that I'd be relatively safe. I decided to knock riding around as quickly as possible on a sunday and just do the commute on the bike. I thought my girls would find bikes exciting and not doing this sort of thing would lead to the kind of experience vacuum I grew up with for them. I explained all this to the wife and she was surprised I'd even considered giving up biking and told me not to be so daft
I've got 2 young kids, now 10 & 7. I have had bikes for the last 18 years. Your kids will love you for being cool. I have just sold my bike because I cannot justify 2 vehicles for the short commute to work, all my biking time has now been taken up with Dad-taxi time and I'm getting back into golf to have a hobby I can share with my son (and daughter if she becomes interested). Also my old runaround expired and I needed to buy a decent car. Having said that I have promised my son that, come the time, I will get another bike and take him on the back, ultimately leading to him learning to ride and both of us biking around Europe in his gap year which will coincide with me retiring!!
Simply: ride sensibly, get advanced training & enjoy your "me" time!
Simply: ride sensibly, get advanced training & enjoy your "me" time!
I've been riding 21 years and when my eldest daughter (now 3) was born I did question bikes. For me though it was a no-brainer as my (one hour each way) commute takes at least twice as long by car or public transport.
This would mean that I wouldn't see the kds on weekdays as they'd be in bed (or about to go) by the time I got home by anything but bike.
I have drastically changed my riding as a result of there no being consequences larger than plastic and ego to crashes.
You just have to ride at a pace you're comfortable with and if necessary, take some extra training on awareness to help you spot potential hazzards, especially if you plan on turning from a hobby rider to a commuter.
There's no point riding around worrying about what could happen. I'd rather drive if that was the case. I just ride like normal, but thing about it more before I do something stupid and weigh up the consequences.
This would mean that I wouldn't see the kds on weekdays as they'd be in bed (or about to go) by the time I got home by anything but bike.
I have drastically changed my riding as a result of there no being consequences larger than plastic and ego to crashes.
You just have to ride at a pace you're comfortable with and if necessary, take some extra training on awareness to help you spot potential hazzards, especially if you plan on turning from a hobby rider to a commuter.
There's no point riding around worrying about what could happen. I'd rather drive if that was the case. I just ride like normal, but thing about it more before I do something stupid and weigh up the consequences.
I have found myself in a similar position and currently own a '98 R1.
The key thing I would say is that, the very fact that you are asking yourself these sorts of questions shows how seriously you take your commitment to your family and will effect (positively!) your approach to riding.
The key thing I would say is that, the very fact that you are asking yourself these sorts of questions shows how seriously you take your commitment to your family and will effect (positively!) your approach to riding.
It is all too easy to simply read the headline statistics and take them as gospel without actually looking into what they mean and how they are arrived at.
Are motorcycles truly more dangerous for an experienced rider beyond the age of 30 than a sports car? If you simply take in the headlines then the answer would be yes but if you dig a little deeper than the answer is no where near as clear cut.
Firstly, motorcycles tend to attract people who would be a higher risk, whatever they drive/ride. While car statistics accident are for example “pulled down” by lots of middle aged women who are traditional very low risk (hence the likes of Sheila’s Wheels insurance being cheaper) bike statistics are “pulled up” by lots of young males who are traditionally very high risk but simply can’t get the adrenalin thrill from the type of car they can afford. So, are you truly safer in a performance ‘fun’ car than you are on a motorcycle?
Likewise, bike usage tends to be something that is done as an occasional weekend activity where many give little thought to the drop in skill levels that lack of practice has brought about.
A study of accident rates within Kent Police some years ago compared accident rates between police car drivers and police motorcyclist as a way of getting sample groups that, as much as possible, matched each other, and where levels of use and levels of training would be pretty similar. The study found that the motorcyclists were actually less likely to be involved in an accident than the car users but that when an event did happen, it tended to be more serious for the motorcyclist. The overall KSI rate for the two groups actually worked out to be pretty much the same showing the motorcycling need not be more dangerous.
Likewise, insurance companies (who are solely in the business of managing risk) don’t see motorcycles as such a huge risk as, for experienced drivers/riders in particular, insurance for a motorcycle tends to be significantly less than insurance for a sports car of anything like comparable performance.
Anyway, back on topic, I am a father who has young children (youngest has 5th birthday today) and I have had and used a bike for the last 30 years. Like you, I worry about not being there for my family, or worse, being a burden on them but I have tried to weigh up the real odds and balance then against the fact that I would never want to feel I had stopped either of my parents from doing something they really wanted to do thus I expect my kids will feel the same.
Manage the risks by taking lots of advanced training and ensuring that you understand where the real dangers are. Remember that there is risk in everything we do but only enjoyment in some of the things we do.
Ride safe and enjoy.
Are motorcycles truly more dangerous for an experienced rider beyond the age of 30 than a sports car? If you simply take in the headlines then the answer would be yes but if you dig a little deeper than the answer is no where near as clear cut.
Firstly, motorcycles tend to attract people who would be a higher risk, whatever they drive/ride. While car statistics accident are for example “pulled down” by lots of middle aged women who are traditional very low risk (hence the likes of Sheila’s Wheels insurance being cheaper) bike statistics are “pulled up” by lots of young males who are traditionally very high risk but simply can’t get the adrenalin thrill from the type of car they can afford. So, are you truly safer in a performance ‘fun’ car than you are on a motorcycle?
Likewise, bike usage tends to be something that is done as an occasional weekend activity where many give little thought to the drop in skill levels that lack of practice has brought about.
A study of accident rates within Kent Police some years ago compared accident rates between police car drivers and police motorcyclist as a way of getting sample groups that, as much as possible, matched each other, and where levels of use and levels of training would be pretty similar. The study found that the motorcyclists were actually less likely to be involved in an accident than the car users but that when an event did happen, it tended to be more serious for the motorcyclist. The overall KSI rate for the two groups actually worked out to be pretty much the same showing the motorcycling need not be more dangerous.
Likewise, insurance companies (who are solely in the business of managing risk) don’t see motorcycles as such a huge risk as, for experienced drivers/riders in particular, insurance for a motorcycle tends to be significantly less than insurance for a sports car of anything like comparable performance.
Anyway, back on topic, I am a father who has young children (youngest has 5th birthday today) and I have had and used a bike for the last 30 years. Like you, I worry about not being there for my family, or worse, being a burden on them but I have tried to weigh up the real odds and balance then against the fact that I would never want to feel I had stopped either of my parents from doing something they really wanted to do thus I expect my kids will feel the same.
Manage the risks by taking lots of advanced training and ensuring that you understand where the real dangers are. Remember that there is risk in everything we do but only enjoyment in some of the things we do.
Ride safe and enjoy.
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