finally, a worthwhile scalp !
finally, a worthwhile scalp !
Author
Discussion

Jammie Dodger

Original Poster:

2,449 posts

186 months

Sunday 19th June 2011
quotequote all
at long last, a current production yardstick...

Lotus Exige S

And he was definitely trying hard to outrun me.

Then he pulled over and tried chasing me, but it was def the standard chim 500's day, 30-130 for 3 miles or so.

He'll be a little sore about getting pwned by an oldie..

Roll on 380bhp !

Edited by Jammie Dodger on Sunday 19th June 17:50

haircutmike

22,511 posts

235 months

Sunday 19th June 2011
quotequote all
I had a long drive at Brands in a very late Exige Sprint, (my pals).

My chim was always a tad faster down the straights, but in the bends, oh that little Lotus is so close to cheating.


Jammie Dodger

Original Poster:

2,449 posts

186 months

Sunday 19th June 2011
quotequote all
The 2 élan turbos I owned were ugly in the wet though.

Confess I've been "over there" (Lotus Forum) teasing them..... My word, sense of humour bypass or what ?!

OldSkoolRS

7,278 posts

210 months

Sunday 19th June 2011
quotequote all
Ah, but was he trying?? wink




I'll bet that's what the sense of humour failure guys said. smile

I managed to burn off a Transit diesel last week in my A4TDi...now there's real power. smile

Shnozz

30,673 posts

302 months

Sunday 19th June 2011
quotequote all
Jammie Dodger said:
The 2 élan turbos I owned were ugly in the wet though.

Confess I've been "over there" (Lotus Forum) teasing them..... My word, sense of humour bypass or what ?!
B'Jesus. Could you not have just gone home, jacked off and eaten a pot noodle.

No affiliation to either marque, if anything, more of a TVR fanboy than a Lotus, but I don't really get the 'humour'? Your other thread highlights you don't know if the Exige was an S or not so potentially you're posting 3 separate threads on how you owned a 190 bhp Toyota lumped Lotus that was designed for bends over straights? Assuming, of course, he was trying.

If you give your local paper a call perhaps they'll run a press release. Well done on your 'win' anyway and I'll be sure to stay tuned for details of your next victory. Perhaps run a weekly feature or something?

OldSkoolRS

7,278 posts

210 months

Sunday 19th June 2011
quotequote all
I did warn you Jammie. wink

Jammie Dodger

Original Poster:

2,449 posts

186 months

Sunday 19th June 2011
quotequote all
Shnozz said:
B'Jesus. Could you not have just gone home, jacked off and eaten a pot noodle.

No affiliation to either marque, if anything, more of a TVR fanboy than a Lotus, but I don't really get the 'humour'? Your other thread highlights you don't know if the Exige was an S or not so potentially you're posting 3 separate threads on how you owned a 190 bhp Toyota lumped Lotus that was designed for bends over straights? Assuming, of course, he was trying.

If you give your local paper a call perhaps they'll run a press release. Well done on your 'win' anyway and I'll be sure to stay tuned for details of your next victory. Perhaps run a weekly feature or something?
Sense of humour failure - I rest my case

And note the "was he trying?"

He most certainly was.

This is all apropos of me having wondered whether my car is on top form at the mo. (well documented) so it was useful to have a competitive duel

Shnozz

30,673 posts

302 months

Sunday 19th June 2011
quotequote all
Jammie Dodger said:
Shnozz said:
B'Jesus. Could you not have just gone home, jacked off and eaten a pot noodle.

No affiliation to either marque, if anything, more of a TVR fanboy than a Lotus, but I don't really get the 'humour'? Your other thread highlights you don't know if the Exige was an S or not so potentially you're posting 3 separate threads on how you owned a 190 bhp Toyota lumped Lotus that was designed for bends over straights? Assuming, of course, he was trying.

If you give your local paper a call perhaps they'll run a press release. Well done on your 'win' anyway and I'll be sure to stay tuned for details of your next victory. Perhaps run a weekly feature or something?
Sense of humour failure - I rest my case

And note the "was he trying?"

He most certainly was.

This is all apropos of me having wondered whether my car is on top form at the mo. (well documented) so it was useful to have a competitive duel
No sense of humour failure this end; still waiting for your comedy to begin. You must be first in the queue for best man duties with your hilarious anecdotes.

Seeing as you're certain your fellow competitor was giving it full beans, despite not knowing what engine was behind him, I'm pleased your little tete a tete has proved you're running on all cylinders. Cheaper than a rolling road too.

Jammie Dodger

Original Poster:

2,449 posts

186 months

Sunday 19th June 2011
quotequote all
"sense of humour" as in the sprit of response to a light hearted poke, as was perfectly obvious.

Still, if nothing else the "controversy" served to stir the Lotus forum out of it's stupor

As a self-confessed "TVR fanboy" who's owned an S and a Chimp, you might have noticed that the TVR forum is a lot of fun, a large part of which is the harmless p*taking

I regret having taken it for granted the same would apply on "the other side"

Big Al.

69,336 posts

289 months

Sunday 19th June 2011
quotequote all
Steady tiger, lets cool it a little can we please.

TYIA

Jammie Dodger

Original Poster:

2,449 posts

186 months

Sunday 19th June 2011
quotequote all
Absolutely ! No venom here from the outset...

Ironballs

363 posts

206 months

Sunday 19th June 2011
quotequote all
This always helps when a versus thread comes up. Credit goes to a chap called AndrewR from the Fiat Coupe Forum:

My first victim this morning was some tarted up Corsa, filled to the brim with teenagers, wearing their backwards baseball caps backwards so that the peaks were pointing forward. Glancing at my newly fitted Howhardaretheytryingometer I saw it had swung right up to 100%, or Noel Edmunds level of trying.

Naturally I dispensed with them in short order and with such ease that they'd been gone for more than 5 minutes before I noticed that I was still on my drive and hadn't even turn the ignition on.

Swinging on to the road, with the engine burbling nicely, I was immediately challenged by an oncoming furniture lorry, its horn beeping in a testosterone challenge to the superiority of my Italian supercar.

I have to admit it was tight until I realised that I was hitting the red-line because I was in neutral and not because I was really, really going for it. That also explained why the lorry was vanishing and why my dog was OK with it's front paws on my drivers window. Turns out it can't run at 150mph on its hind legs after all.

Upwards and onwards. My journey to work is around 25 miles and normally takes me around 8 minutes, but I am helped by having removed all surplace items from my interior, glove box and boot, using hydrogen to fill my tyres, always having a dump before I leave the house and leaving a suit at work so that I can drive there naked.

Thanks to these high performance measures I was able to leave a trail of Scooby-Doos, EVO IXs, Aston Martins and Saxos shuddering in my wake, many of them wearing expressions indicating that they obviously thought my car was a Ferrari of some kind, or maybe some sort of ultra-Lamborghini.

The only real challenge I faced was on a fast section of twisties where I suddenly realised that somebody was trying to overtake me. Glancing across I saw a one of them brand new Swedish supercars that holds the lap-record on Top Gear ... and it was being driven by Nigel Mansell ... and it had a big sign on the side reading, "Powered by NOx".

So it really gave me a hard time until I got up to third, at 150, and then I managed to pull 70 or 80 car lengths ahead, but using binoculars I could see that Nigel waw giving me the thumbs up. Nice bloke, shame he can't drive for toffee.

I was about to back off a bit, but then I realised that the light behind me was trying it on. Now I've no objection to people driving quickly, but this light was, literally, going as fast as it's physically possibly to go ... and in a 40 limit!

There's no way I could observe that sort of behaviour without showing the wave/particle radiation just what an idiot it was being, by driving even faster.

I'm happy to admit that it wasn't easy to lose it, especially when I had to write a 600-page physics article proving special relativity wrong and, thus, allowing me to accelerate beyond 186,000 miles per second, but thanks to the Coop's brilliant 4th gear I was able to manage it and that light looked pretty stupid.

At least it would have looked pretty stupid if I could have seen it. Which I couldn't. Because I was going faster, like.

When I finally got to work I was delighted to see they'd arranged a ticker-tape parade for me and the coop and journalists from all of the motoring magazines were writing articles explaining why the coop was the greatest car ever in the entire history of cars and how there'd never be a car better, ever.

So, pretty good morning, really, but looking out of the window there are some tachyons in McDonald's car-park, over the road, acting pretty cocky.

Looks like I'll have to learn their theoretical asses a lesson.

RonnieP

1,153 posts

258 months

Sunday 19th June 2011
quotequote all
Strange fruit, take your car on a racetrack and see how fast you really aren't wink

Racing other cars on public roads is at best stupid and at worst lethel and does all we sportscar owners a massive disservice and gives the PC brigade more ammo to legislate to slow us all down - just an observation.

mr sagman

1,735 posts

267 months

Sunday 19th June 2011
quotequote all
Behave yourself Jammie your gettin threads closed left right and centre... You've pissed off a good few off on the TVR forum as well as the Lotus forum inside a week.. PH is a fantastic place for advice and friendship.. but trolls and idiots arent welcome anymore.

Jammie Dodger

Original Poster:

2,449 posts

186 months

Sunday 19th June 2011
quotequote all
Ironballs said:
This always helps when a versus ..... .
Chr*st, I hope you cut & pasted that !

Very funny though, not quite me but I can see why you posted it

Oddly enough, I did have one such behind me, in town on Friday. Some gasping, whistling, snorting, waste gate venting blue thing with a black bonnet. May have once been a saxo, corsa or some such. I was only turning into a car park and off he squealed in a frenzied cloud of front wheel burnout....

To think I'm tarred with that brush, the shame of it.....

mr sagman

1,735 posts

267 months

Sunday 19th June 2011
quotequote all
Ironballs said:
This always helps when a versus thread comes up. Credit goes to a chap called AndrewR from the Fiat Coupe Forum:

My first victim this morning was some tarted up Corsa, filled to the brim with teenagers, wearing their backwards baseball caps backwards so that the peaks were pointing forward. Glancing at my newly fitted Howhardaretheytryingometer I saw it had swung right up to 100%, or Noel Edmunds level of trying.

Naturally I dispensed with them in short order and with such ease that they'd been gone for more than 5 minutes before I noticed that I was still on my drive and hadn't even turn the ignition on.

Swinging on to the road, with the engine burbling nicely, I was immediately challenged by an oncoming furniture lorry, its horn beeping in a testosterone challenge to the superiority of my Italian supercar.

I have to admit it was tight until I realised that I was hitting the red-line because I was in neutral and not because I was really, really going for it. That also explained why the lorry was vanishing and why my dog was OK with it's front paws on my drivers window. Turns out it can't run at 150mph on its hind legs after all.

Upwards and onwards. My journey to work is around 25 miles and normally takes me around 8 minutes, but I am helped by having removed all surplace items from my interior, glove box and boot, using hydrogen to fill my tyres, always having a dump before I leave the house and leaving a suit at work so that I can drive there naked.

Thanks to these high performance measures I was able to leave a trail of Scooby-Doos, EVO IXs, Aston Martins and Saxos shuddering in my wake, many of them wearing expressions indicating that they obviously thought my car was a Ferrari of some kind, or maybe some sort of ultra-Lamborghini.

The only real challenge I faced was on a fast section of twisties where I suddenly realised that somebody was trying to overtake me. Glancing across I saw a one of them brand new Swedish supercars that holds the lap-record on Top Gear ... and it was being driven by Nigel Mansell ... and it had a big sign on the side reading, "Powered by NOx".

So it really gave me a hard time until I got up to third, at 150, and then I managed to pull 70 or 80 car lengths ahead, but using binoculars I could see that Nigel waw giving me the thumbs up. Nice bloke, shame he can't drive for toffee.

I was about to back off a bit, but then I realised that the light behind me was trying it on. Now I've no objection to people driving quickly, but this light was, literally, going as fast as it's physically possibly to go ... and in a 40 limit!

There's no way I could observe that sort of behaviour without showing the wave/particle radiation just what an idiot it was being, by driving even faster.

I'm happy to admit that it wasn't easy to lose it, especially when I had to write a 600-page physics article proving special relativity wrong and, thus, allowing me to accelerate beyond 186,000 miles per second, but thanks to the Coop's brilliant 4th gear I was able to manage it and that light looked pretty stupid.

At least it would have looked pretty stupid if I could have seen it. Which I couldn't. Because I was going faster, like.

When I finally got to work I was delighted to see they'd arranged a ticker-tape parade for me and the coop and journalists from all of the motoring magazines were writing articles explaining why the coop was the greatest car ever in the entire history of cars and how there'd never be a car better, ever.

So, pretty good morning, really, but looking out of the window there are some tachyons in McDonald's car-park, over the road, acting pretty cocky.

Looks like I'll have to learn their theoretical asses a lesson.
biggrinbiglaughbiglaugh

Jammie Dodger

Original Poster:

2,449 posts

186 months

Sunday 19th June 2011
quotequote all
mr sagman said:
Behave yourself Jammie your gettin threads closed left right and centre... You've pissed off a good few off on the TVR forum as well as the Lotus forum inside a week.. PH is a fantastic place for advice and friendship.. but trolls and idiots arent welcome anymore.
If you don't mind, I'll defend myself politely - one thread on lotus was closed, I believe, because they - not I- were getting offensive. On the TVR side, I stated an opinion that unmodified 500 RV8s were not as quick as reputation had led me to believe. Some people agreed and about the same proportion disagreed, which is fair enough. I didn't intend or expect it to be controversial, it was merely an observation in response to a direct question on exactly the subject.

I've received a lot of helpful advice, which I value highly, from certain of the "old guard" , to whom I'm indebted.

Without exception, any "negative" comments I appear to have made were tongue in cheek and I can only apologise if they were considered to be anything but tongue in cheek

As for racing on the public road, well fair enough. The fact, I'll stick my neck out, that many sportscar owners have a flexible attitude to speed limits is no excuse. Just youtube TVR ! On this occasion, having questions about the health of my latest acquisition and with an in-my-face unprovoked challenge from that exige, my competitive nature got the better of me on a quiet stretch of dual carriageway. Fair cop nonetheless.

Sorry folks, didn't mean anything by it

getmecoat


OldSkoolRS

7,278 posts

210 months

Monday 20th June 2011
quotequote all
Jammie Dodger said:
Sorry folks, didn't mean anything by it

getmecoat
OK by me, just hand me the keys to the TVR on the way out. wink


I'd put money on it that there isn't a single person posting on this thread that hasn't exceeded the speed limit at some point in their life. wink I know as I got 3 points for 36 in a 30 limit about 8 years ago...

SILICONEKID340HP

14,997 posts

262 months

Monday 20th June 2011
quotequote all
I don`t even bother..what i do is drive very slow fom the taffic lights slow as possible with a big grin knowing i have 340bhp under the bonnet and copious amount of torque..Just the sound of the exhaust does it for me..The Lotus Exige S would eat you round the track its a different aniamal..


goldblum

10,272 posts

198 months

Monday 20th June 2011
quotequote all
Just read this thread.

Guy posts saying he beat another car in a spirited dash,and is quite pleased with himself.End of story.

It starts with some snide crap from one poster who chucks his toys then a mod tells the OP to calm down when he's only defending himself, quite politely.

To a casual observer there's a couple of people on here who've made themselves look like prats.