Instruments & warnings lit up like a christmas tree

[BigNige]

What does this sound like it could be?

2000 XJ8.

Started this morning, all fine and dandy, drove out, jet washed the car, dried it off, grabbed a latte in the drive through, parked up on the seafront, car running fine, all up to temp, everything funky with the world... drunk me latte.

Started her up again and ABS light was on.
Ok I thought, this has happened before.
Stopped and turned the engine off, waited 30 secs and re-started the car - no instruments working but nearly all the warning lights were on, nothing showing in the mileometer wndow and the car wont move out of park - among other things it obviously thinks the tranny is fubarred.
It isn't.

Called Green Flag and we tried a hard re-set by removing the earth cable from the battery - no joy.
Removed the manual transmission interlock override bolt and got it into drive and drove to my nearest friendly garage & left it there.
Other than the instruments everything works as it should.

Tranny shifts fine and smooth, engine is sweet & quiet, no leaks, no smoke, brake servo is fine (i.e. stops as it should) all windows work ok, central locking is fine, air con works even the bloody phone works ok... yada yada yada.

Sigh...

[S2 Giles]

"Edited due to missing sense of humour"...............


Someone more educated and less silly will come along and help you more than me in a minute, I only have 2 months Jag experience.
I guess it must be water ingress into electrics and would of tried to keep her running to dry everything out for a while

Edited by S2 Giles on Wednesday 18th August 00:38

[varsas]

The ECU's really upset if the voltage drops, might be worth checking the battery out? Quick and easy to do.

[RW774]

Have you jet washed the inner arches?

[odyssey2200]

Bad earth?

Not coming out of park could be a brake related problem.
Do the brake lights work?

A broken brake light switch will cause this problem.

[BigNige]

RW774 said:

Have you jet washed the inner arches?

Didn't target them as such...you're going to tell me that the ECU is mounted on the brake caliper or something aren't you...

[RW774]

Sorry Nige for the delay. Dry out your ABS multi plugs then it should be fine.

[BigNige]

RW774 said:

Sorry Nige for the delay. Dry out your ABS multi plugs then it should be fine.

Ah, thanks for that, I knew it'd be somethign simple.

And I've also just realised that your username is the registration of the D type that Mike Hawthorn won LeMans in isn't it (or actually 774 RW)

[RW774]

Quite right Nige,Britains` first world champion who few remember.I`d say still 95% of the public still reckon it was Stirling.

[BigNige]

Well it turns out the instrumnent panel has heaved its guts up and keeled over.
£850 to fix all in.

Excellent.

What a turd of a car.

[RW774]

Nige you`re in Essex, why the fk don`t you come and see us before you get your trousers ripped off.

[BigNige]

RW774 said:

Nige you`re in Essex, why the fk don`t you come and see us before you get your trousers ripped off.

No idea...something to do with not wanting to trapse the damn thing all over East Anglia and knowing that the place it's curently at don't rip me off I suspect.

I'm going to sell the fking thing once it's fixed.
I hate it. I abhore it. I despise the bd thing.

Despite a full main dealer history it's been a pile of utterly unreliable st.
And it isn't the first Jag that we've had that's like this - the X type just fell apart under us - again, despite a full main dealer history.

I know people here like/love 'em but I'll never ever have another Jag.

[RW774]

O dear. It`s knowing where to look first . Don`t think for one minute any other manufacturer is much better Nige. Knowing the vehicle faults can save you a lot of heartache .£850 for a wet ABS plug ?

[BigNige]

RW774 said:

O dear. It`s knowing where to look first . Don`t think for one minute any other manufacturer is much better Nige. Knowing the vehicle faults can save you a lot of heartache .£850 for a wet ABS plug ?

I'm a little insulted that you're quite so smug about it being simply a wet abs plug.
The car has (believe it or not) been washed several times before without issue as well as being driven in the rain quite a lot!
Goodness!

I do not believe it is anything like as simple as that particularly given the history of the thing and that the garage doing the work on it work on all my cars (I have six cars btw) and have yet to misdiagnose anything or rip me off.

It's a turd, end of.

[drummerboyXJR]

Errrr, the guys trying to help you out. I have met said mechanic, and he will always try to give you the best/cheapest option to avoid main dealer prices. Even if you have bought a 'turd/lemon' there are ways to fix it up without breaking the bank.
Please dont be so offensive in future.

[BigNige]

drummerboyXJR said:

Errrr, the guys trying to help you out. I have met said mechanic, and he will always try to give you the best/cheapest option to avoid main dealer prices. Even if you have bought a 'turd/lemon' there are ways to fix it up without breaking the bank.
Please dont be so offensive in future.

Oh for Gods sake.

[Mick_N]

BigNige why is it the rare occasion I log-on to pistonheads I always spot a Jaguars are crap thread from yourself ?

Why not sell the car never ever buy a Jaguar again, avoid this forum, and then start a lurch2 site up ?

[Le Mans Visitor]

BigNige said:

RW774 said:

O dear. It`s knowing where to look first . Don`t think for one minute any other manufacturer is much better Nige. Knowing the vehicle faults can save you a lot of heartache .£850 for a wet ABS plug ?

I'm a little insulted that you're quite so smug about it being simply a wet abs plug.
The car has (believe it or not) been washed several times before without issue as well as being driven in the rain quite a lot!
Goodness!

I do not believe it is anything like as simple as that particularly given the history of the thing and that the garage doing the work on it work on all my cars (I have six cars btw) and have yet to misdiagnose anything or rip me off.

It's a turd, end of.

You may be insulted but you are now £850 lighter in the pocket. Did you try the abs sensors first as suggested? He was trying to diagnose your problem and save you some cash. Instead you went off on one boasting youve got 6 cars, (not that that will help you)

Wind your neck in and have a word with yourself.

Rant over

[Mick_N]

There are also company's that will fix your cluster or offer an exchange if you send them your knackered one

[hand of clod]

BigNige is fully entitled to air his views without prissy comments .I had a less serious abs light issue which defied main dealer and indys efforts to fix.