Possibly the smallest query ever

[Simpo Two]

As it's a bit quiet here this morning I shall attend to a receipt that's been sitting on my desk for too long...

3 June: Simpo goes to the PO and sends a letter by 'Signed For' at a cost of £2.91.
'Delivery aim: within 3 working days. Proof of delivery and signature at royalmail.com' says the receipt.

25 June: Tracking says: 'We've got it. Your item has been posted at a Post Office. As you've used our Royal Mail Signed For service, the next update you'll see is after we've attempted to deliver to the recipient. Tracking history:
Wednesday 03 June 2026 10:48
Accepted at Parcelshop
XXX Post Office'

So either they lost it or the postman forgot to tick a box somewhere. Can I claim my £2.91 back?

Edited by Simpo Two on Thursday 25th June 11:46

[48k]

Signed-For is not a guaranteed service but after 10 days it is considered lost. That said, given it has just received a tracking update I would leave it another 10 days to see if it gets delivered before putting a claim in.

[Simpo Two]

It wasn't a tracking update, I just went to see the current status and it's the same as since I posted it.

(I put July by mistake!)

[48k]

In which case yes since it's more than 10 days late it's considered lost and you put a claim in.

TBF all this info is on the Royal Mail site.

[Simpo Two]

Well they lead you a merry dance but my claim is in. In case others need it: https://help.royalmail.com/personal/s/article/Roya...

Somewhat more of a palaver than going to the PO and saying 'This wasn't delivered, I want my money back' and they check the tracking and say 'Ah yes you're right here's £2.91'. That's all it needs to be.

Note that you have to claim within 30 days of posting so there's not a massive window.

ETA Much to my surprise I got a reply this morning - perhaps AI is behind the scenes. Anyway, it says:

'Thank you for getting in touch with. I m very sorry to hear you ve had a reason to raise a complaint regarding an item in our care. We ve reviewed your case under reference number xxxxxxxx. After carefully considering the evidence you provided, it s clear that we didn t meet our usual standards on this occasion, and I sincerely apologise for the inconvenience caused. We will be issuing a Stamps 1st x 8 shortly in recognition of this service failure. If you requested a higher amount, I regret that this is the maximum we re able to offer in line with the terms of the product used. For more details, please visit our website at www.royalmail.com. This response concludes your enquiry. However, please be assured that the information you ve shared will help us improve our services moving forward.
Regards
Royal Mail & Parcelforce'


8 x £1.80 = £14.40. Most generous as all I requested was £2.91!

Edited by Simpo Two on Wednesday 1st July 10:10

[Jon39]

Simpo Two said:

8 x £1.80 = £14.40.
Most generous as all I requested was £2.91!

You have probably seen the often repeated advert, for a tiny box heater that plugs into an electric wall socket.
It was developed by a child prodigy who left Harvard to start developing his amazing new invention.
Will heat a large room from 2°C to 20°C in 30 seconds, and uses less electricity than a 5 watt light bulb
It is so good that the entire energy industry, is trying to stop this product being sold.
Buy now while stocks last.

It has not been a big seller recently, hardly surprising while we are all feeling so hot.
They had a new idea. To suit the changed weather conditions.

This product was developed by NASA.
It will cool a large room from 30°C to 15°C in 30 seconds, and uses less electricity than a 5 watt light bulb.
It is so good that the entire energy industry, is trying to stop this product being sold.
Buy now while stocks last.

Now that you have discovered how to turn £2.91 into £14.40, magically increasing money by 395%, you just need to prepare an internet advert.
Remember to include, 'The whole financial services industry, is trying to stop this product being sold.'
Buy now while stocks last (to pay for my Valhalla).

Best leave out anything within brackets.

[Simpo Two]

Or I could just open 'Simpo's Stamp Shop'...

Halfway through your post in a flash of genius I realised that the way to make the Magic Box cool instead of heat is simply to switch the wires round.

However getting it to prepare a tasty supper might take a little longer

[Jon39]

Simpo Two said:

Or I could just open 'Simpo's Stamp Shop'...

Halfway through your post in a flash of genius I realised that the way to make the Magic Box cool instead of heat is simply to switch the wires round.

However getting it to prepare a tasty supper might take a little longer

Brilliant. You could keep that as a trade secret. Could refer to the feature as Reverse Looped Technology (RLT), Blows Hot & Cold (BHC), then charge a premium for that ultra-luxury feature.

The really clever part of their business model, is nobody controls scam internet adverts.
The Advertising Standards mob has issued a warning, mumbling about too good to be true, but there is nothing they can do.
Don't you just love the scene where the NASA engineers (who have been invented) are working with copper pipes that freeze over in front of the camera (or AI, as cameras are called now).

An investigative YouTuber bought one of these instant air conditioners the size of a toaster.
The instructions said fill the tank with water.
When the tiny (PC type) fan is turned on, air is gently blown through cardboard strips, which have been made wet by the tap water.
The YouTuber could not find iced copper pipes, anywhere inside the gadget.
Perhaps these parts were mistakenly sent to the Moon by NASA.

A great SCAM for trapping the gullible.
Wonder how profitable the business is?
Did you know that gullible as been removed, from the latest edition of the Oxford Dictionary?

[Simpo Two]

Jon39 said:

Did you know that gullible as been removed, from the latest edition of the Oxford Dictionary?

A few decades late I'm afraid; that takes me straight back to the fifth form, when we played that trick on a fellow schoolboy. Such was his talent at believing everything we told him that I wrote a little book of his escapades entitled 'Gullible's Travels'...