Ultimate marketing bullshit

[cyberface]

I get a newsletter from Novatech. It hovers perilously near the boundary between 'useful deals and offers' and 'SPAM' but I tend to let it through the filters just in case.

A case in point was today, with a 28" LCD panel with native 1920x1200 resolution for £279.99 - I'm looking to upgrade my screen setup (currently one Apple 30" 2560x1600, one Apple 17" 1280x1024, and one 'justified and ancient' Eizo 18" 1280x1024) and am dithering between buying another Apple 30" for balance, or getting a 24" Apple for lower price (but being out of screen balance)...

And then I could have four of these Novatech panels for less than the new Apple 30".

So I click on the weblink here:

http://www.novatech.co.uk/novatech/prods/Monitors/...

and am utterly AMAZED by the utter, utter bullst on the 'Overview' panel. WTF were these guys on when they wrote that?

For those who can't be arsed to click on the link, here it is:

Novatech on methylmethcathinone said:

This metropolitan and minimalistic multi function widescreen LCD monitor delivers the next evolution for work and entertainment quality. Capable of rendering high resolution images in Full HD 1200p. Novatechs 28" offers full support for HDMI digital input along with stunning 15000:1 contrast, blazingly fast response and fluid image performance to easily display high definition images and allow the users to experience realistic 3D graphics for gaming.

Its slim frames feature exquisite, curved contours to further accentuate the brilliant and esoteric black mirror surface; adding a dash of elegance to the product for any modern designed space. Enthusiastic fans of modern metropolitan styles will embrace this ultimate combination of multimedia and exquisite taste.

Now I've heard the gobste that the infamous 'mephedrone' induces in its users many times. And this is a classic example

I'll nominate it as the best misuse of the word 'esoteric' in 2010 - obviously whoever wrote this had no idea what it actually means. Also, does it stop working out in the country?

[sunbeam_alpine]

cyberface said:

Also, does it stop working out in the country?

No, we'm got that new-fangled electric out here now.

[plasticpig]

Someone has swallowed a thesaurus by the looks of it. Next evolution = Next generation. I am stumped at esoteric though.

[was8v]

Surprised anyone actually reads that guff.

I just look at the specs and picture.

[LukeBird]

That'd make me buy it!

[andy_s]

I've always thought it strange that niche-specific companies that rely on people making intelligent choices to get to them in the first place then insult that intelligence by such stuff - it does them no favours - purely from a marketing/perception point of view.

[andyps]

Looks like a great promotional idea to me. Not only did the message get to their email subscribers, but now all the PHers who visit this board might have seen it. Genius

[LordGrover]

Maybe I'm odd, but all I see is £238 +VAT and 3 years on-site warranty. Looks good to me.

[fastfreddy]

Novatech on methylmethcathinone said:

This metropolitan and minimalistic multi function widescreen LCD monitor delivers the next evolution for work and entertainment quality. Capable of rendering high resolution images in Full HD 1200p. Novatechs 28" offers full support for HDMI digital input along with stunning 15000:1 contrast, blazingly fast response and fluid image performance to easily display high definition images and allow the users to experience realistic 3D graphics for gaming.

Its slim frames feature exquisite, curved contours to further accentuate the brilliant and esoteric black mirror surface; adding a dash of elegance to the product for any modern designed space. Enthusiastic fans of modern metropolitan styles will embrace this ultimate combination of multimedia and exquisite taste.

This sort of tripe is typical of badly written and translated sales material produced by the Chinese/Korean. I suspect Novatech have just done a quick cut and paste job rather than try and re-write it.

[Stevenj214]

So... is it any good?

[.Mark]

fastfreddy said:

Novatech on methylmethcathinone said:

This metropolitan and minimalistic multi function widescreen LCD monitor delivers the next evolution for work and entertainment quality. Capable of rendering high resolution images in Full HD 1200p. Novatechs 28" offers full support for HDMI digital input along with stunning 15000:1 contrast, blazingly fast response and fluid image performance to easily display high definition images and allow the users to experience realistic 3D graphics for gaming.

Its slim frames feature exquisite, curved contours to further accentuate the brilliant and esoteric black mirror surface; adding a dash of elegance to the product for any modern designed space. Enthusiastic fans of modern metropolitan styles will embrace this ultimate combination of multimedia and exquisite taste.

This sort of tripe is typical of badly written and translated sales material produced by the Chinese/Korean. I suspect Novatech have just done a quick cut and paste job rather than try and re-write it.

That's exactly what they do with every product they sell.

[TotalControl]

Oh my. What the hell? Talk about making it nice and simple for your customers. Makes you think why they just didn't use bullet points.

[bonsai]

I'm not convinced by 1920x1200 on 28". I think that is perfect for my 24", but with anything larger I'd be wanting an appropriately increased resolution.

Edited by bonsai on Thursday 22 April 22:51