Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 11)
Discussion
ozzuk said:
Tye Green said:
Just been on the news about the devastating effects on some businesses resulting from Rachel Reeves' recent budget.
A local bra manufacturer has gone bust, a submarine company has gone under, a manufacturer of food blenders has gone into liquidation, a dog kennel has had to call in the retrievers and a company supplying paper for origami enthusiasts has folded.
A local strip club has gone tits up, Interflora is pruning its business and Dyno-rod has gone down the drain.
The saddest one though is the ice cream van man found dead covered in nuts and raspberry sauce. He couldn't take it any more and topped himself.
It's not all bad news, I started a boat building business in my attic, sails are through the roof!A local bra manufacturer has gone bust, a submarine company has gone under, a manufacturer of food blenders has gone into liquidation, a dog kennel has had to call in the retrievers and a company supplying paper for origami enthusiasts has folded.
A local strip club has gone tits up, Interflora is pruning its business and Dyno-rod has gone down the drain.
The saddest one though is the ice cream van man found dead covered in nuts and raspberry sauce. He couldn't take it any more and topped himself.
A husband arrives home and sees his wife washing dishes.
He says, "Love, drop everything and let's have sex!"
The woman stops washing the dishes and happily begins to undress!
He says, "No, not here, baby, let's go to the park across the street and do something crazy for once!"
The woman gets excited and without a second thought opens the door and they run to the park across the street!
They are undressed and well “engaged” when suddenly a Policeman appears.
"What's going on here? Aren't you ashamed? I will fine you for indecent exposure." He says.
The husband complains but the Policeman will hear no excuses and proceeds to fine them.
A £30 fine for the husband and £100 fine for the lady.
"Why £30 for me and £100 for my wife?" asks the husband curiously.
The Policeman replies, "Sir, this is your first time..."
He says, "Love, drop everything and let's have sex!"
The woman stops washing the dishes and happily begins to undress!
He says, "No, not here, baby, let's go to the park across the street and do something crazy for once!"
The woman gets excited and without a second thought opens the door and they run to the park across the street!
They are undressed and well “engaged” when suddenly a Policeman appears.
"What's going on here? Aren't you ashamed? I will fine you for indecent exposure." He says.
The husband complains but the Policeman will hear no excuses and proceeds to fine them.
A £30 fine for the husband and £100 fine for the lady.
"Why £30 for me and £100 for my wife?" asks the husband curiously.
The Policeman replies, "Sir, this is your first time..."
K87 said:
Sporky said:
K87 said:
I think that is where I have been going wrong, I would have waited until she had finished.
A gentleman always lets the lady finish first. Gassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff