Driving ****wittery
Discussion
As a bit of a follow up to the "Things that annoy you beyond reason" thread I felt that there should be a special and more specific section to out annoying drivers.
With that in mind, this particular little post is specifically for you, yes you, the operator ( I won't flatter you by calling you a driver) of the silver VW Toureg Tdi V10 tonight. As I exited the A14 this evening and cruised down the slip road to the traffic lights I selected the middle lane at the roundabout. It isn't really rocket science, the left lane is clearly marked for turning left, the middle clearly marked for both straight on and turning right and yes, by a bizarre quirk of fate, the right hand lane is marked for turning right. Not unlike many roundabouts I think you will find. Of course when I registered your warp speed approach down the inside into the left lane it was not beyond the realms of possibility that you were intending to turn left. Alas no, you were also heading right. So, not content with almost surgically removing the back end of my car as you pulled across both the middle and the outer lane you decided to add a little equilibrium by doing the same to the front end as the two lanes merged into one.
Was your feckwittery complete? No, that was just the entree. The main course swiftly followed at the next roundabout where you decided to turn left toward Sudbury. It is customary to give way to the right at those big round things in the road, unless of course you are a bellend in which case you simply drive straight out in front of the traffic that is already negotiating said roundabout.
Oh, and those big round red and white signs with '30' emblazened on them are not your IQ, they indicate a maximum speed. Unforunately your progress was briefly halted by traffic through Sicklesmere and through the 40 zone at the other end. However, the cherry on the icing, on the cake that was dessert was the approach to Bradfield Combust. Please do not worry yourself about the blind bend, the village, the 40mph markings or indeed the three cars in front of you. What would be best would be to overtake all three in one hit and narrowly avoid the oncoming traffic and the entrance to the pub.
You Sir, are a knob jockey of heinous proportions, I would like to think that one day karma will bite you squarely on your oversized posterior and present you with something with as much contempt as you showed tonight. Perhaps a large oak tree where you could suitably test your lofty driving position and your airbags. I have a horrible feeling that life doesn't work like that and you will end up wiping out some person(s) who are minding their own business and enjoying their drive home.
May I boldly suggest a bus pass?
Now don't get me wrong, I enjoy a hoon with the best of them but there is a time and a place and that was neither.
With that in mind, this particular little post is specifically for you, yes you, the operator ( I won't flatter you by calling you a driver) of the silver VW Toureg Tdi V10 tonight. As I exited the A14 this evening and cruised down the slip road to the traffic lights I selected the middle lane at the roundabout. It isn't really rocket science, the left lane is clearly marked for turning left, the middle clearly marked for both straight on and turning right and yes, by a bizarre quirk of fate, the right hand lane is marked for turning right. Not unlike many roundabouts I think you will find. Of course when I registered your warp speed approach down the inside into the left lane it was not beyond the realms of possibility that you were intending to turn left. Alas no, you were also heading right. So, not content with almost surgically removing the back end of my car as you pulled across both the middle and the outer lane you decided to add a little equilibrium by doing the same to the front end as the two lanes merged into one.
Was your feckwittery complete? No, that was just the entree. The main course swiftly followed at the next roundabout where you decided to turn left toward Sudbury. It is customary to give way to the right at those big round things in the road, unless of course you are a bellend in which case you simply drive straight out in front of the traffic that is already negotiating said roundabout.
Oh, and those big round red and white signs with '30' emblazened on them are not your IQ, they indicate a maximum speed. Unforunately your progress was briefly halted by traffic through Sicklesmere and through the 40 zone at the other end. However, the cherry on the icing, on the cake that was dessert was the approach to Bradfield Combust. Please do not worry yourself about the blind bend, the village, the 40mph markings or indeed the three cars in front of you. What would be best would be to overtake all three in one hit and narrowly avoid the oncoming traffic and the entrance to the pub.
You Sir, are a knob jockey of heinous proportions, I would like to think that one day karma will bite you squarely on your oversized posterior and present you with something with as much contempt as you showed tonight. Perhaps a large oak tree where you could suitably test your lofty driving position and your airbags. I have a horrible feeling that life doesn't work like that and you will end up wiping out some person(s) who are minding their own business and enjoying their drive home.
May I boldly suggest a bus pass?
Now don't get me wrong, I enjoy a hoon with the best of them but there is a time and a place and that was neither.
king swearing for proper rant points...
chukka64 said:
As a bit of a follow up to the "Things that annoy you beyond reason" thread I felt that there should be a special and more specific section to out annoying drivers.
With that in mind, this particular little post is specifically for you, yes you, the operator ( I won't flatter you by calling you a driver) of the silver VW Toureg Tdi V10 tonight. As I exited the A14 this evening and cruised down the slip road to the traffic lights I selected the middle lane at the roundabout. It isn't really rocket science, the left lane is clearly marked for turning left, the middle clearly marked for both straight on and turning right and yes, by a bizarre quirk of fate, the right hand lane is marked for turning right. Not unlike many roundabouts I think you will find. Of course when I registered your warp speed approach down the inside into the left lane it was not beyond the realms of possibility that you were intending to turn left. Alas no, you were also heading right. So, not content with almost surgically removing the back end of my car as you pulled across both the middle and the outer lane you decided to add a little equilibrium by doing the same to the front end as the two lanes merged into one.
Was your feckwittery complete? No, that was just the entree. The main course swiftly followed at the next roundabout where you decided to turn left toward Sudbury. It is customary to give way to the right at those big round things in the road, unless of course you are a bellend in which case you simply drive straight out in front of the traffic that is already negotiating said roundabout.
Oh, and those big round red and white signs with '30' emblazened on them are not your IQ, they indicate a maximum speed. Unforunately your progress was briefly halted by traffic through Sicklesmere and through the 40 zone at the other end. However, the cherry on the icing, on the cake that was dessert was the approach to Bradfield Combust. Please do not worry yourself about the blind bend, the village, the 40mph markings or indeed the three cars in front of you. What would be best would be to overtake all three in one hit and narrowly avoid the oncoming traffic and the entrance to the pub.
You Sir, are a knob jockey of heinous proportions, I would like to think that one day karma will bite you squarely on your oversized posterior and present you with something with as much contempt as you showed tonight. Perhaps a large oak tree where you could suitably test your lofty driving position and your airbags. I have a horrible feeling that life doesn't work like that and you will end up wiping out some person(s) who are minding their own business and enjoying their drive home.
May I boldly suggest a bus pass?
Now don't get me wrong, I enjoy a hoon with the best of them but there is a time and a place and that was neither.
Well written, and easily digestible. Paragraph four needs some spice, though. With that in mind, this particular little post is specifically for you, yes you, the operator ( I won't flatter you by calling you a driver) of the silver VW Toureg Tdi V10 tonight. As I exited the A14 this evening and cruised down the slip road to the traffic lights I selected the middle lane at the roundabout. It isn't really rocket science, the left lane is clearly marked for turning left, the middle clearly marked for both straight on and turning right and yes, by a bizarre quirk of fate, the right hand lane is marked for turning right. Not unlike many roundabouts I think you will find. Of course when I registered your warp speed approach down the inside into the left lane it was not beyond the realms of possibility that you were intending to turn left. Alas no, you were also heading right. So, not content with almost surgically removing the back end of my car as you pulled across both the middle and the outer lane you decided to add a little equilibrium by doing the same to the front end as the two lanes merged into one.
Was your feckwittery complete? No, that was just the entree. The main course swiftly followed at the next roundabout where you decided to turn left toward Sudbury. It is customary to give way to the right at those big round things in the road, unless of course you are a bellend in which case you simply drive straight out in front of the traffic that is already negotiating said roundabout.
Oh, and those big round red and white signs with '30' emblazened on them are not your IQ, they indicate a maximum speed. Unforunately your progress was briefly halted by traffic through Sicklesmere and through the 40 zone at the other end. However, the cherry on the icing, on the cake that was dessert was the approach to Bradfield Combust. Please do not worry yourself about the blind bend, the village, the 40mph markings or indeed the three cars in front of you. What would be best would be to overtake all three in one hit and narrowly avoid the oncoming traffic and the entrance to the pub.
You Sir, are a knob jockey of heinous proportions, I would like to think that one day karma will bite you squarely on your oversized posterior and present you with something with as much contempt as you showed tonight. Perhaps a large oak tree where you could suitably test your lofty driving position and your airbags. I have a horrible feeling that life doesn't work like that and you will end up wiping out some person(s) who are minding their own business and enjoying their drive home.
May I boldly suggest a bus pass?
Now don't get me wrong, I enjoy a hoon with the best of them but there is a time and a place and that was neither.
I encounter this kind of thing nearly everyday. I had some idiot who couldn't keep up with me in an NSL yesterday drive right up my backside through a 30mph limit just as the children were coming out of school and leaping into the road like lemmings. I try not to let them rile me these days, life's too short and will be even shorter if I drive myself to a heart attack getting worked up about it all.
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