love triangle
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Discussion

seagrey

Original Poster:

385 posts

193 months

Monday 30th May 2011
quotequote all
Three of my kitchen staff are involved in a long running love triangle,its well known amongst the staff and has been for a while,
I personally dont care as long as it dont affect their work.
Alas it is now becoming a problem.
The `victim`,the wife has turned to smoking weed to cope and its making her late quite frequently.
She still gives it 110% while there but synchronicity is required to run a kitchen smoothly(Im not even allowed in my own kitchenssmile) and she is an important part of the team,plus a good decent person essentially.

Someone has to go,as the chef says the tension is unbearable.
I have given the wife 2 weeks off to sort her head out,in the meantime I have to decide who has to go.
If I fire the husband,who is on his last legs as far as I`m concerned and replaceable,the other woman will leave too,which I would really prefer not to happen.
I had thought of sending him out on the road but that would cause the other woman to leave also.

Fortunately I have never had to deal with this sort of situation before,I ran a workshop full of blokes for 20 years,no women,no complicated problems,nothing that MTFU didn`t sort out.
I can`t sack the wife,even for smoking pot.
Both women say that they would work with the other but the wife wont work with the husband any longer.
Any advice appreciated.
My mind is set on getting rid of the husband and the girlfriend as I cant see any other way out.


Zaxxon

4,057 posts

188 months

Monday 30th May 2011
quotequote all
seagrey said:
Three of my kitchen staff are involved in a long running love triangle,its well known amongst the staff and has been for a while,
I personally dont care as long as it dont affect their work.
Alas it is now becoming a problem.
The `victim`,the wife has turned to smoking weed to cope and its making her late quite frequently.
She still gives it 110% while there but synchronicity is required to run a kitchen smoothly(Im not even allowed in my own kitchenssmile) and she is an important part of the team,plus a good decent person essentially.

Someone has to go,as the chef says the tension is unbearable.
I have given the wife 2 weeks off to sort her head out,in the meantime I have to decide who has to go.
If I fire the husband,who is on his last legs as far as I`m concerned and replaceable,the other woman will leave too,which I would really prefer not to happen.
I had thought of sending him out on the road but that would cause the other woman to leave also.

Fortunately I have never had to deal with this sort of situation before,I ran a workshop full of blokes for 20 years,no women,no complicated problems,nothing that MTFU didn`t sort out.
I can`t sack the wife,even for smoking pot.
Both women say that they would work with the other but the wife wont work with the husband any longer.
Any advice appreciated.
My mind is set on getting rid of the husband and the girlfriend as I cant see any other way out.
Is it the husbands fault? If so thin him out. How hard would it be to replace the lover?

edc

9,580 posts

279 months

Monday 30th May 2011
quotequote all
If you are just going to "sack" somebody then please get some proper advice as from what you write you might be solving one problem but creating another!

rog007

5,826 posts

252 months

Tuesday 31st May 2011
quotequote all
Keep them on and set up a small film company on the side... wink

zaphod42

58,853 posts

183 months

Tuesday 31st May 2011
quotequote all
You could call ACAS for some free advice...

GeraldSmith

6,887 posts

245 months

Tuesday 31st May 2011
quotequote all
If they have over 12 months employment you can't just sack any of them, shagging each other doesn't amount to gross misconduct. You have no choice legally but to keep them all and go down a disciplinary route with them if they are not performing their work correctly.

seagrey

Original Poster:

385 posts

193 months

Tuesday 31st May 2011
quotequote all
GeraldSmith said:
If they have over 12 months employment you can't just sack any of them, shagging each other doesn't amount to gross misconduct. You have no choice legally but to keep them all and go down a disciplinary route with them if they are not performing their work correctly.
Sorry,I wasnt really clear enough,the guy is on his final warning/last legs.
Also his attitude towards his wife could be construed as misconduct,my o/h`s solicitor-lawyer is confident that the kind of childish provocation/mental anguish/hostile behaviour,that has been witnessed by other members of the kitchen toward her is probably cause in its self.
I just wanted to avoid losing the girlfriend but see no other way out.
Also there is the danger of other kitchen staff wanting to leave because of the atmosphere,a kitchen is a pretty hostile,high stress work environment at the best of times.
I could make his work life unbearable but I`m not that sort of person and apart from being a bit troublesome he does his job well enough.

I`m really not concerned about their personal life and would be the last person to get involved or interfere.
Apart from feeling sorry for the wife I have no opinion on that sort of thing.

GeraldSmith

6,887 posts

245 months

Tuesday 31st May 2011
quotequote all
Ah,well, if you can legally part company with him it sounds like the best option. Nothing worse than having a disruptive presence that you can't do anything about. I had an employee once who everyone hated, a big sigh of relief from them when she went on maternity, followed of course by big issues when she wanted to come back. Very little I could do but take her back in her original role but it wasn't a good situation. Fortunately she decided at the last minute not to return.

AJS-

15,366 posts

264 months

Thursday 2nd June 2011
quotequote all
Sounds like a plot line form Eastenders.

IMO as an employer you're right to say it is not your business until it affects the way they work.

You need to have a word with the wife about her coming in late, and if you really think the husband's behaviour is creating a bad atmosphere then you need to either sort it out or get rid of him.

How sure are you that the bit-on-the-side will go with him?

seagrey

Original Poster:

385 posts

193 months

Thursday 2nd June 2011
quotequote all
Oh!it gets better,after some poking around it transpires that the girlfriend has already got a boyfriend who is serving in the forces and due to return shortly,he knows about the affair and understandably is none too happy and is quite likely to serve some of his own justice upon return.
From what I gather he is`powerfully built`smile and is the sort of guy who could start a fight in an empty room!
Also they have been living as a couple in his house and she has beeen letting the husband use the boyfriends car.nono
Amongst the gossip there is strong evidence to prove that the husband knows the boyfriend is on to him and being a coward by nature has been quietly telling other staff that he has been considering quitting for a while now,which started around the time he found out that he`d beeen found out.
It would also go a long way to explain his behaviour recently,he is trying to gert the sack so that he won`t have any issues with benefits I assume.
Now this has come to light I seriously doubt the girlfriend will leave with him,I`m positive it was a bluffed rumour spread purposefully with the full intention that I hear it.
It seems one way or another the situation will sort it`s self soon.

As to the wife being late and smoking pot,well thats another issue to deal with but a worthwile cause to me and will solve its self as this situation runs its inevitable course.

AJS-

15,366 posts

264 months

Thursday 2nd June 2011
quotequote all
It gets better!

I think this should be moved to The Lounge for some really fun commentary.

Any pictures?

seagrey

Original Poster:

385 posts

193 months

Thursday 2nd June 2011
quotequote all
AJS- said:
It gets better!

I think this should be moved to The Lounge for some really fun commentary.

Any pictures?
I posted it here because of what the lounge can do to a sensible request.

The wife being the most attractive is plain at best but the husband and the girlfriend are both quite unattractive,without being rude.

There is a chippy there this week fittng new doors and he said today that the place was tense,thats even with out the wife there.
He was given a quick history lesson by some one who also said that 2 other kitchen lads had offered the husband out side more than once or twice recently.