At the end of my tether with a 'friend'.
Discussion
My GF has a 'friend' who has mental health issues. I have no doubt that the girl is very ill. She has been diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Anorexia, Bulimia and now they think she's displaying signs of a severe personality disorder / schizophrenia.
Now before she had all these problems she was always a bit of an attention seeker, but genuinely a good laugh, and my GF and her were very good friends indeed.
Within the last year it's become a bit ridiculous... if my GF doesn't reply to a text within 10 minutes (which, quite frankly, just isn't possible sometimes due to work etc...) this lass starts sending 'if you don't reply I'll kill myself' type messages. There is definitely a large element of control in this - whether it's brought on by her conditions or not. On this line, the girl in question hates me with a passion, despite my best efforts to get on with her.
It got to the point where she was waiting outside my GF's home for her every day etc... (morning and evening) and eventually led (well, it was a culmination of circumstances) to my GF moving to another town, approx 20 miles away (closer to me though, so I'm not complaining). This girl seemed to have got the message that my GF was trying to distance herself from her and soon got more emotional blackmail through via texts / emails. Eventually this died down until this week.
The girl in question has been posting post-it notes with weird messages on under the front door or my GF's house at two in the morning (yes, she's walked 20 odd miles in a rural area in the pitch black - I still don't know why she couldn't use the letterbox anyway?). The first time I was there and gave her a lift home and a talking to about it - which apparently makes me evil. But she turned up again last night. This time the GF just ignored her / phoned the police and let them sort it out.
IMO this girl needs sectioning, but the NHS won't because she has to have displayed symptoms of Schizophrenia for a minimum of 6 months before they do anything?
Sorry for the rant, but I'm none too happy atm.
Now before she had all these problems she was always a bit of an attention seeker, but genuinely a good laugh, and my GF and her were very good friends indeed.
Within the last year it's become a bit ridiculous... if my GF doesn't reply to a text within 10 minutes (which, quite frankly, just isn't possible sometimes due to work etc...) this lass starts sending 'if you don't reply I'll kill myself' type messages. There is definitely a large element of control in this - whether it's brought on by her conditions or not. On this line, the girl in question hates me with a passion, despite my best efforts to get on with her.
It got to the point where she was waiting outside my GF's home for her every day etc... (morning and evening) and eventually led (well, it was a culmination of circumstances) to my GF moving to another town, approx 20 miles away (closer to me though, so I'm not complaining). This girl seemed to have got the message that my GF was trying to distance herself from her and soon got more emotional blackmail through via texts / emails. Eventually this died down until this week.
The girl in question has been posting post-it notes with weird messages on under the front door or my GF's house at two in the morning (yes, she's walked 20 odd miles in a rural area in the pitch black - I still don't know why she couldn't use the letterbox anyway?). The first time I was there and gave her a lift home and a talking to about it - which apparently makes me evil. But she turned up again last night. This time the GF just ignored her / phoned the police and let them sort it out.
IMO this girl needs sectioning, but the NHS won't because she has to have displayed symptoms of Schizophrenia for a minimum of 6 months before they do anything?
Sorry for the rant, but I'm none too happy atm.
The police regularly get called out to her, the majority of officers that are on on a night know her. As do many ambulance staff - she's always released from hospital sharpish though.
Her family know bits and bobs - but she's made sure that no-one 'official' tells her family anything.
The trouble is; as troubled as she seems, she is still very shrewd about how she goes about things and knows her rights down to a T. She really knows how to put people in very sticky situations.
Her family know bits and bobs - but she's made sure that no-one 'official' tells her family anything.
The trouble is; as troubled as she seems, she is still very shrewd about how she goes about things and knows her rights down to a T. She really knows how to put people in very sticky situations.
MrPeters said:
...if my GF doesn't reply to a text within 10 minutes (which, quite frankly, just isn't possible sometimes due to work etc...) this lass starts sending 'if you don't reply I'll kill myself' type messages.
I know someone who used to get texts like this from a former housemate after he moved. After a few days of it he switched his phone off when he got home. She didn't have his landline and after a couple of weeks she gave up and moved on to some other unsuspecting sod.He used to dread switching his phone back on though- this was when texts were relatively new and his limited inbox would sometimes completely fill overnight.
MrPeters said:
The trouble is; as troubled as she seems, she is still very shrewd about how she goes about things and knows her rights down to a T. She really knows how to put people in very sticky situations.
Hmmm 
I assume in that case, telling her to f
k off is going to result in you getting into legal drama instead. Therefore, double-bluff her, tell her you have spoken to your "solicitor" and he will be "handling all further communication" or something along those lines.Isnt there a law, where if you ask someone to leave you alone, and they dont, then the 2nd time is a harassment charge? or am i talking out of my arse.
Hudson said:
Hmmm
I assume in that case, telling her to fk off is going to result in you getting into legal drama instead. Therefore, double-bluff her, tell her you have spoken to your "solicitor" and he will be "handling all further communication" or something along those lines.
Isnt there a law, where if you ask someone to leave you alone, and they dont, then the 2nd time is a harassment charge? or am i talking out of my arse.
Not sure. I don't see that going down too well. Although I could add in all the libellous things she's written about me on blog posts!I assume in that case, telling her to f
k off is going to result in you getting into legal drama instead. Therefore, double-bluff her, tell her you have spoken to your "solicitor" and he will be "handling all further communication" or something along those lines.Isnt there a law, where if you ask someone to leave you alone, and they dont, then the 2nd time is a harassment charge? or am i talking out of my arse.
Could your girlfriend change her mobile number? I know it's drastic but might be a solution to the text message issue.
In terms of the post-it notes under the door. I think it might be best if you stay with her for a couple of nights and deal with it yourself (you call the police I mean rather than giving her a kicking) to help your G/F through this horrible episode. Unless she wants to do it herself of course.
To be blunt - it's got to the point where perhaps a round 'fk off' might be the way forward from the girlfriend. I know your girlfriend might be worried about offending this nutter but it's rather gone beyond that to be honest.
She's crossed the line so all bets are off in my opinion.
In terms of the post-it notes under the door. I think it might be best if you stay with her for a couple of nights and deal with it yourself (you call the police I mean rather than giving her a kicking) to help your G/F through this horrible episode. Unless she wants to do it herself of course.
To be blunt - it's got to the point where perhaps a round 'f
k off' might be the way forward from the girlfriend. I know your girlfriend might be worried about offending this nutter but it's rather gone beyond that to be honest. She's crossed the line so all bets are off in my opinion.
I was pretty sure from past line of work that more than 3 unwanted calls per day would be classed as harrassment if you were to pursue it.
I'd personally continue to let the police handle it, even if you are having to call them on a regular basis. Soon they will either get sick of having to pick up the same person regularly and take it further, or hopefully realise quickly that it needs to be handled in a different way and involve mental health teams to progress things.
You shouldn't have to put up with it at all, but at the same time, taking it in to your own hands may only fuel the fire, or get you into trouble.
I'd personally continue to let the police handle it, even if you are having to call them on a regular basis. Soon they will either get sick of having to pick up the same person regularly and take it further, or hopefully realise quickly that it needs to be handled in a different way and involve mental health teams to progress things.
You shouldn't have to put up with it at all, but at the same time, taking it in to your own hands may only fuel the fire, or get you into trouble.
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