So What Are the Repercussions Going To Be?
So What Are the Repercussions Going To Be?
Author
Discussion

Spydaman

Original Poster:

1,635 posts

282 months

Saturday 13th August 2011
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My wife caught a couple of scum trying to break into our shed (not the first time) where I keep our pushbikes and mower on the pretence that their ferrets were inside. They were but only because they'd put them through a broken window. They scarpered back over the fence when she threatened to call the police and the ferrets were collected by the local ferret fancier. Today I've repalced the plastic windows with plywood, put up a shed alarm and nailed carpet gripper to the top of the fence where they climb over. It's painted red and visible from the path that runs down the side of our property and the local Plod was chatting to me while I was doing it. So is it going to be a deterrant and they pick on someone else or what?

Ledaig

1,801 posts

286 months

Sunday 14th August 2011
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Spydaman said:
and nailed carpet gripper to the top of the fence
About 20mm down on the inside of the fence works a lot better. On the top it can be seen, a coat lobed over it to render it useless.

wink


Harpo

482 posts

206 months

Sunday 14th August 2011
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Rig up one of those cheapo blank shot gun devices.
It will frighten the living daylights out of the scum. hehe

jjones

4,480 posts

217 months

Sunday 14th August 2011
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look on your favourite auction site for "cat spikes", plastic s[ikes that screw onto fences. they have the added benefit of keeping cats off the fences

Spydaman

Original Poster:

1,635 posts

282 months

Sunday 14th August 2011
quotequote all
The local scum have obviously noticed the changes as they were banging on the fence and shouting at 6 o'clock this morning. Didn't see anything but could hear them the other side of the fence saying how they should storm the place and help themselves. So called the Police who arrived in minutes but of course they'd buggered off by then. What next?

Spydaman

Original Poster:

1,635 posts

282 months

Sunday 14th August 2011
quotequote all
The local scum have obviously noticed the changes as they were banging on the fence and shouting at 6 o'clock this morning. Didn't see anything but could hear them the other side of the fence saying how they should storm the place and help themselves. So called the Police who arrived in minutes but of course they'd buggered off by then. What next?

Cogcog

11,838 posts

259 months

Sunday 14th August 2011
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Spydaman said:
The local scum have obviously noticed the changes as they were banging on the fence and shouting at 6 o'clock this morning. Didn't see anything but could hear them the other side of the fence saying how they should storm the place and help themselves. So called the Police who arrived in minutes but of course they'd buggered off by then. What next?
Get the ferrets skinned and hang them on the fence. Alternativelty empty the shed and leave it unlocked for a new nights.

I had a very similar experience some years ago where they stole my mower one night and came back for the power lead the next. I caught two climbing over the fence and in the resultant chase ended up injurying one amd myself. Police arrested him but took no further action after he said he was sitting on the fence to have a fag at 3am and this lunatic came out threatening to rip off his head. He was going to make counter allegations of assault. Local plod released him but told him I had recently been released from psychiatric care and had a history of seriously injuring random strangers who annoyed me in any way. About right!

Spydaman

Original Poster:

1,635 posts

282 months

Sunday 14th August 2011
quotequote all
That's the plan to leave the shed door open with just one knackered old mountain bike in there. The other bikes have already been relocated and will probaly sell some of them anyway as I don't ride them all.
I got the impression that one of the scum had tested the fence and pricked himself so in one way it worked but not if the repercussions are worse. The gripper is in plain view as I want it to be a deterrent not a trap.
A friend from did offer to deal with the ferets. It wasn't till later he said wanted to have them stuffed.

dirkgently

2,160 posts

255 months

Sunday 14th August 2011
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Spydaman said:
The local scum have obviously noticed the changes as they were banging on the fence and shouting at 6 o'clock this morning. Didn't see anything but could hear them the other side of the fence saying how they should storm the place and help themselves. So called the Police who arrived in minutes but of course they'd buggered off by then. What next?
Sounds like a result.hehe
Your chore for today is removing the gripper rod and replacing it 20mm down on the inside of the fence.

King Herald

23,501 posts

240 months

Sunday 14th August 2011
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dirkgently said:
Sounds like a result.hehe
Your chore for today is removing the gripper rod and replacing it 20mm down on the inside of the fence.
And plant faeces-smeared punji sticks in the long grass by the fence, so their fleeting gloat at having climbed the fence turns into screams of abject agony a microsecond later. hehe

Toilet Duck

1,365 posts

209 months

Sunday 14th August 2011
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Smear the grippers with excrement of your personal choice (cat/dog/human) so that even a small cut will turn into a festering infected wound within days. If they are jumping off the fence onto the ground, put "ornamental" rocks where they will land. Make sure they are irregular sized/shaped with sharp angles etc, landing on these (especially if from a height) may cause ones ankle to twist and hopefully break/dislocate. Alternatively, you could take a sheet of plywood and drive nails through it making your very own "bed of nails" and leave that on the ground for them to land on (again, smear it in excrement), but from what you have said I don't think this will suit you (risk of upsetting the law etc). Another solution (that will take time to grow), is to plant pyrocantha (sp?) which is often refered to as "natures own barbed wire." However, its slow growing and will take years to become an effective size/density.

Comedy option: leave the shed unlocked and turn it into a dungeon leaving gimp suits/masks, ball gags etc hanging up and a selection of dildos/butt plugs/speculums neatly arranged in ascending size order. Bonus points if you wire up the door so that when it opens speakers start playing the "bring out the gimp" music from Pulp Fiction. Doubt they will return after that.

roofer

5,136 posts

235 months

Sunday 14th August 2011
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^ This. laugh

Mr GrimNasty

8,172 posts

194 months

Sunday 14th August 2011
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You'd be better off keeping the top of the fence freshly covered with anti-climb paint and putting a sign outside, less risk of getting sued or innocent casualties.

davepoth

29,395 posts

223 months

Sunday 14th August 2011
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Mr GrimNasty said:
You'd be better off keeping the top of the fence freshly covered with anti-climb paint and putting a sign outside, less risk of getting sued or innocent casualties.
Or just cover the top of the fence in st, the handle to the shed with st, and the bicycle seat with st.