Holly crap of just passed a house brick!

[Sam the Mut]

Well not quite, but my god did it hurt. The thing is it was not really that hard. been like this for 2 weeks. Sit on the loo, Push and... nothing! try again. Nothing. On the 3rd or 4th attempt. MOVEMENT! I have been eating lots and lots of fruit trying to slacking things up but nothing. Is it somethings to bother the Doc? I looked on the NHS webiste plenty of info if your tap stuck on, but not for my ailment. Gunna try a nice hot curry tommorow.

P.s never had this problem before.

[RemainAllHoof]

Make sure you drink lots of fluids eg water. If you don't drink a lot, stool can be harder. Let us know if it's still hard the next time you go.

[Robatr0n]

Eat some diabetic chocolate. You'll be on the bog in no time.

[RemainAllHoof]

Ooh - or a couple of ripe pears.

[ClintonB]

Picolax or Optrex - Problem solved!


Failing that, prawns on the turn.

[Thom987]

My womans scrambled eggs would move mountains. The dog seems to enjoy it though.

[RemainAllHoof]

ClintonB said:

Failing that, prawns on the turn.

Not only will it sort out constipation but you'll lose weight, too.

[Sam the Mut]

RemainAllHoof said:

Make sure you drink lots of fluids eg water. If you don't drink a lot, stool can be harder. Let us know if it's still hard the next time you go.

well 2 pints of water have just gone down the hatch, and will report in the morning. It's like I've swolled bars leak or somthing.

Edited by Sam the Mut on Monday 22 August 23:40

[mph1977]

if you have a rectum filled with hard stool no amount of preventative measures will deal with that - athough prevention will hopefully prevent reoccurance

there are fundamentally 3options now

1. man the f*** up and just get on with it

2. get some suppositories or a micro enema from the pharmacist and hope that works

3. double bag and get in there and make like the constipated mathematican and work it out long hand on paper ...

[anonymous-user]

Glycerin suppositories.

[Sam the Mut]

mph1977 said:

if you have a rectum filled with hard stool no amount of preventative measures will deal with that - athough prevention will hopefully prevent reoccurance

there are fundamentally 3options now

1. man the f*** up and just get on with it

2. get some suppositories or a micro enema from the pharmacist and hope that works

3. double bag and get in there and make like the constipated mathematican and work it out long hand on paper ...

hoover?

[PoleDriver]

Ghey sex?

[bennyboydurham]

I did a really low carb/ high protein diet last year and the one thing I noticed when unleashing hell in the loo was that there would be one big log and that would be it. No squirts, totally clean break, straight out, job done.

I miss those sts.

[Turtle head]

ClintonB said:

Picolax or Optrex - Problem solved!


Failing that, prawns on the turn.

See you run the risk off a small case of death if your not careful

[PoleDriver]

Turtle head said:

See you run the risk off a small case of death if your not careful

Does your nickname come from experience in these matters?

[Sam the Mut]

PoleDriver said:

Turtle head said:

See you run the risk off a small case of death if your not careful

Does your nickname come from experience in these matters?

[ClintonB]

Turtle head said:

ClintonB said:

Picolax or Optrex - Problem solved!


Failing that, prawns on the turn.

See you run the risk off a small case of death if your not careful

Most likely as a result of blood pressure going off the scale before you cling on for almighty God . However, should you remain calm & peek-a-boo (as presumably you would, given the nomenclature) after a dose of the Pico, the world is indeed yours.


Somebody mentioned painkillers - Co-Codamol and the like are quite useful if your problem is at the other end of the spectrum & you don't have a traveling stock of Imodium.

[mph1977]

ClintonB said:

Most likely as a result of blood pressure going off the scale before you cling on for almighty God . However, should you remain calm & peek-a-boo (as presumably you would, given the nomenclature) after a dose of the Pico, the world is indeed yours.


Somebody mentioned painkillers - Co-Codamol and the like are quite useful if your problem is at the other end of the spectrum & you don't have a traveling stock of Imodium.

codeine can block some people up quite spectacularly ... not helped by further codeine for abdo pain ... can result in scenes usually more associated with James Herriott than human healthcare practice....

[PoleDriver]

mph1977 said:

codeine can block some people up quite spectacularly ... not helped by further codeine for abdo pain ... can result in scenes usually more associated with James Herriott than human healthcare practice....

[Google [bot]]

PoleDriver said:

Ghey sex?

You jest but it works. An ex used to swear by it for keeping her regular.