The official "I'm uselss at the gaming malarky" thread
Discussion
So much so that I've stopped using the PS3 earpiece because I already know I'm rubbish and don't need it verified aurally by the rest of the gaming world.
Highlights include:
Highlights include:
- Getting over halfway through Fallout before realising there was a jump button. Realising that earlier could have saved me a LOT of walking detours!
- Having been killed so many times whilst trying to complete the last level of MW2 I got further than ever before, panicked and decided to cook a grenade in anticipation of the next wave of enemies. Which, as they didn't appear quick enough, meant that I blew myself up Wile-E-Coyote-style.
- Having picked up kit on BF2 I often try to defib a tank. Or indeed use a socket gun on a fallen comrade.
- My latest achievement was to get Cole Phelps stuck on the top of an underpass with an old Buick wedged on his head. I'm pretty sure that this won't help me solve a case. Unless it's the case of "The detective who starved to death despite eating some old Michelins". In which case I'll 'fess up readily.
Amen brother!
We must be of a similar age, as I too spent my seminal gaming years hammering keys and wrecking a number of joysticks playing DTD.
I don't play online because I get so comprehensively trounced by the kids. FPS are strictly single player offline experiences for me!
(PS RTFM! That would assist in avoiding your Fallout-type woes....
I I know it goes against all the rules of blokedom but sometimes needs must!)
k designed that thing? Anyway, I persevere as I love BF2 online. Kids walk all over me, especially this time of year when they are off school but I just hang back on the maps and pick em off as a scumbag sniper.glad someone else posted this. i keep thinking it's time to stop playing due to being crap. i used to live on games/in the arcade.
as an example i just sold my copy of red dead because i couldn't get the hang of shooting and have stopped playing assassins creed as i'm incapable of pickpocketing.
as an example i just sold my copy of red dead because i couldn't get the hang of shooting and have stopped playing assassins creed as i'm incapable of pickpocketing.
Went through a fair few Kempston Joysticks due to that game! (Daley Thompson)
In my defence, I usually have the manual led out in front of me so that I can check which button is required to switch weapons. However, the inevitable delay whilst looking away from the screen often results in my character being eaten/shot/stabbed leaving me with nothing but a confused expression and yet another "game over" screen.
What's even worse is when absolute random button mashers get further than you. I remember having Tekken 2 on the PS. Learnt some combos, thought I'd use my (limited) TaeKwonDo sparring knowledge to my advantage - failed spectacularly to get past the second opponent (my characters special skills included a chronic inability to judge perspective and butter for fists) despite my best efforts over several days. Then my 10 year old step son completed the game in an afternoon. Aggghhhhh!
Still, I showed him what real gaming is about by finding a copy of IK+ for the PS (yes it exists, really!) and then promptly got kicked in by both his character and the computer controlled sprite.
For cyring out loud, I mastered Kick Off 2 in my youth - anything which required those sort of reactions must make modern day gaming a doddle surely?
In my defence, I usually have the manual led out in front of me so that I can check which button is required to switch weapons. However, the inevitable delay whilst looking away from the screen often results in my character being eaten/shot/stabbed leaving me with nothing but a confused expression and yet another "game over" screen.
What's even worse is when absolute random button mashers get further than you. I remember having Tekken 2 on the PS. Learnt some combos, thought I'd use my (limited) TaeKwonDo sparring knowledge to my advantage - failed spectacularly to get past the second opponent (my characters special skills included a chronic inability to judge perspective and butter for fists) despite my best efforts over several days. Then my 10 year old step son completed the game in an afternoon. Aggghhhhh!
Still, I showed him what real gaming is about by finding a copy of IK+ for the PS (yes it exists, really!) and then promptly got kicked in by both his character and the computer controlled sprite.
For cyring out loud, I mastered Kick Off 2 in my youth - anything which required those sort of reactions must make modern day gaming a doddle surely?
mikeyr said:
- Having picked up kit on BF2 I often try to defib a tank. Or indeed use a socket gun on a fallen comrade.
Had the same situation - must have looked like I was a medieval sex pest as all I seemed to be doing was groping randomly at everyones arses whilst they told me to keep my hands off them.
mikeyr said:
Then you sir are not welcome on this thread...
If it wasn't for people like me you wouldn't be getting such high scores!!!
If it wasn't for people like me you wouldn't be getting such high scores!!!
Seriously, though, how come you rate yourself so low? You can't be that bad. Fair enough if you have a slow PC or link. I used to and was constantly raped on BF2... then I realised that it would run fine if I stopped running other software in the background.
It's lag - get a better internet connection and all will be well..... (at least I hope so, because that's my excuse for being hopeless at on-line games).....
And of course I like to think that I grew up with joysticks and a mouse to play games with, this using your thumb to aim business takes quite a bit of getting used to. The kids these days have a PS3/X-Box controller in their hands before they can walk.......
And of course I like to think that I grew up with joysticks and a mouse to play games with, this using your thumb to aim business takes quite a bit of getting used to. The kids these days have a PS3/X-Box controller in their hands before they can walk.......
What you describe was why I loved BF2142 so much.
You didn't have to be a fast-twitch head-shot genius to enjoy it. In fact, if you found a team that actually played it as it was designed to be played then a team of OAPs could kick the arses of the 12 year old you describe as they didn't get strategy and tactics. I do hope BF3 spawns a BF2142 sequel.
You didn't have to be a fast-twitch head-shot genius to enjoy it. In fact, if you found a team that actually played it as it was designed to be played then a team of OAPs could kick the arses of the 12 year old you describe as they didn't get strategy and tactics. I do hope BF3 spawns a BF2142 sequel.
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