Getting over phobias
Discussion
How am I going to get over my phobia of spiders?
It's really getting out of hand now, I've never liked them but as I have got older the phobia has got worse and worse.
It came to a real head this morning when I got in the bath to have a shower, my paranoia told me to scan the bath first for one of the critters, I couldn't see any so got in and tuned the water on, then a big spider ran from under the bath mat, the water must have been too hot for it, I s
t myself and in an effort to get away I slipped and fell out of the bath landing on the laundry basket 
I had to get my Wife to come and remove it whilst I whimpered in the corner having a coronary!
I don't really have a fear of much else but this is becoming stupid.
Help
(Not sure if the this is the right forum)
It's really getting out of hand now, I've never liked them but as I have got older the phobia has got worse and worse.
It came to a real head this morning when I got in the bath to have a shower, my paranoia told me to scan the bath first for one of the critters, I couldn't see any so got in and tuned the water on, then a big spider ran from under the bath mat, the water must have been too hot for it, I s
t myself and in an effort to get away I slipped and fell out of the bath landing on the laundry basket I had to get my Wife to come and remove it whilst I whimpered in the corner having a coronary!
I don't really have a fear of much else but this is becoming stupid.
Help
(Not sure if the this is the right forum)
I have a similar reaction to our eight-legged friends.
When I moved into a house with the ex and the house turned out to be spider central, I had to MTFU pretty sharpish as she was even more frit by them than me and our respective Dads both lived over 200 miles away. My preferred method was taking a big wad of kitchen roll (to prevent any spider/hand interface), then grabbing the offending arachnid and crushing it before throwing it in the bin.
In the flat I'm in now, I am lucky to be pretty much spider-free except for the odd tiddler that gets in the bath - which soon goes on its own little white water ride down the plug-hole.
I know it's a hackneyed old PH cliché, but sometimes you do need to grow a pair and face your fears head-on.
Why don't you and the waff take turns to catch them?
PS; it's your turn next...
When I moved into a house with the ex and the house turned out to be spider central, I had to MTFU pretty sharpish as she was even more frit by them than me and our respective Dads both lived over 200 miles away. My preferred method was taking a big wad of kitchen roll (to prevent any spider/hand interface), then grabbing the offending arachnid and crushing it before throwing it in the bin.
In the flat I'm in now, I am lucky to be pretty much spider-free except for the odd tiddler that gets in the bath - which soon goes on its own little white water ride down the plug-hole.
I know it's a hackneyed old PH cliché, but sometimes you do need to grow a pair and face your fears head-on.
Why don't you and the waff take turns to catch them?
PS; it's your turn next...
MTFU, I had to do it.
Or get one of these spider catchers;
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Primrose-London-Spider-Cat...
A friend has one, amazingly efficient.
It is worth remembering that there are no spiders in the uk that can hurt you as much as a wasp.
My method is the pint glass over the spider and envelope to protect me from it escaping.
Or get one of these spider catchers;
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Primrose-London-Spider-Cat...
A friend has one, amazingly efficient.
It is worth remembering that there are no spiders in the uk that can hurt you as much as a wasp.
My method is the pint glass over the spider and envelope to protect me from it escaping.
Gradual desensitisation.
The next time you see a really tiny one, pick it up and play with it until you feel comfortable. Do this a few times until you feel totally ok with it. (if you can't manage even a really tiny one start with an ant instead)
Repeat the above with spiders of increasing size.
The next time you see a really tiny one, pick it up and play with it until you feel comfortable. Do this a few times until you feel totally ok with it. (if you can't manage even a really tiny one start with an ant instead)
Repeat the above with spiders of increasing size.
Why leave your bath mat in the bath? Surely the correct place to leave a bath mat when not in use is folded over the side of the bath or towel rack.
If you leave spiders somewhere to hide sooner or later one will accept the invitation.You have my sympathy..must have been a nasty shock.
I got ambushed in the bathroom the other night,2 a.m.,whilst having a pee.Chased it onto the landing then remembered the bloody landing light was bust Doh!
Came back in the morning and it had vanished so on full spider alert now.
If you leave spiders somewhere to hide sooner or later one will accept the invitation.You have my sympathy..must have been a nasty shock.
I got ambushed in the bathroom the other night,2 a.m.,whilst having a pee.Chased it onto the landing then remembered the bloody landing light was bust Doh!
Came back in the morning and it had vanished so on full spider alert now.
Your spider phobia is a learnt phobia. You can tell its learnt because not everyone has it and people have been cured of it. The good news for you is that means its easy to overcome. Look up 'fast phobia cure richard bandler' and find someone that practices that technique near you. Literally it takes less than 20 minutes to remove the phobia for ever.
Now that might sound incredible but its not as incredible as how quickly you learnt the phobia, usually that takes about 10 seconds. In learning the fast phobia cure, one learns the mechanics of how to install a phobia - very easy to do. Most people that are quite scared of heights learnt that one too. Often they went to the edge of a high bridge / building to look down and their dad (its almost always the dad), sneaked up behind them, grabbed them as if he was about to push them over the edge and shouted / screamed.... Bang! One shot learnt fear of heights for the rest of your life, thanks dad!
Paul McKenna does a reasonable (deliberately drawn out & much longer than necessary) demonstration in this video
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FQF5Ye4_RCE
Also get yourself a bug buster from www.buyabugbuster.co.uk
Now that might sound incredible but its not as incredible as how quickly you learnt the phobia, usually that takes about 10 seconds. In learning the fast phobia cure, one learns the mechanics of how to install a phobia - very easy to do. Most people that are quite scared of heights learnt that one too. Often they went to the edge of a high bridge / building to look down and their dad (its almost always the dad), sneaked up behind them, grabbed them as if he was about to push them over the edge and shouted / screamed.... Bang! One shot learnt fear of heights for the rest of your life, thanks dad!
Paul McKenna does a reasonable (deliberately drawn out & much longer than necessary) demonstration in this video
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FQF5Ye4_RCE
Also get yourself a bug buster from www.buyabugbuster.co.uk
I think lots of people are scared of spiders but few can relate to a true phobia. At one point I felt it was taking over my life, I didnt want to stay around my girlfriends because she lived in an old house FFS.
Cognitive behavioral therapy worked for me. I couldnt even look at a picutre of one and now Im happy handling them. It cost around 60 a session and took me 8 sessions. Its essentially gradual exposure but helps if you have a professional who can help you identify exactly what aspects you have a problem with and overcome them.
Good luck, let us know how you get on.
Cognitive behavioral therapy worked for me. I couldnt even look at a picutre of one and now Im happy handling them. It cost around 60 a session and took me 8 sessions. Its essentially gradual exposure but helps if you have a professional who can help you identify exactly what aspects you have a problem with and overcome them.
Good luck, let us know how you get on.
monkey gland said:
Little late to be up on a school night.I have this too. It's bizarre as I love all other types of creepy crawlies, and even love photographing them (beetles, praying mantises, centipedes etc) and am fine with all other animals (snakes, rats, lizards etc). I posted here a while ago about arachnophobia and got some suggestions. Firstly I tried seeing a few hynotherapists and non-mainstream counsellors etc and got absolutely nowhere.
I then saw a clinical psychologist, and all she did was explain a very easy process of desensitisation (after taking a lot of money from me!!). What she got me to do was create a list of situations from not scary at all right up to most scary (I think I had a list of about ten or so), and then work through them stage by stage and de-sensitise along the way. The difficult thing with spiders is accessing elements of the list (photos are easy, but actual spiders are harder to track down repeatedly each day), so I've had to be a bit creative. For example, I don't mind small spiders, and I've had a garden spider build a web on the inside of my front door, which has been brilliant. I'm still utterly petrified of big spiders though - it's a very difficult thing to solve, but I'm sure that it is solvable given enough time (which I don't have as I'm booking my first holiday outside Europe at the moment and its for March next year...).
Oh, and to all those posting pics or links to spider stuff - grow up. It's not big or clever to not be scared of something that someone else is; we all have our weakpoints and we should respect other people's. The fact that I'm fine with, for example, enclosed spaces, does not mean I find it funny to lock people in cupboards!
I then saw a clinical psychologist, and all she did was explain a very easy process of desensitisation (after taking a lot of money from me!!). What she got me to do was create a list of situations from not scary at all right up to most scary (I think I had a list of about ten or so), and then work through them stage by stage and de-sensitise along the way. The difficult thing with spiders is accessing elements of the list (photos are easy, but actual spiders are harder to track down repeatedly each day), so I've had to be a bit creative. For example, I don't mind small spiders, and I've had a garden spider build a web on the inside of my front door, which has been brilliant. I'm still utterly petrified of big spiders though - it's a very difficult thing to solve, but I'm sure that it is solvable given enough time (which I don't have as I'm booking my first holiday outside Europe at the moment and its for March next year...).
Oh, and to all those posting pics or links to spider stuff - grow up. It's not big or clever to not be scared of something that someone else is; we all have our weakpoints and we should respect other people's. The fact that I'm fine with, for example, enclosed spaces, does not mean I find it funny to lock people in cupboards!
I am scared and fascinated in equal measures, by spiders. They're genuinely cool critters!
I don't mind small ones, ie smaller than a 5p, and will quite happily handle them. Anything bigger than that, not a chance. I do agree though, that it is a learnt phobia, and I lay the blame for this squarely with my mother. It's mental when you think about it - we as fully grown adults, are larger and stronger than any spider by an absolute order of magnitude. It's like a t-rex being petrified of mice!
It simply doesn't make rational or logical sense
I don't mind small ones, ie smaller than a 5p, and will quite happily handle them. Anything bigger than that, not a chance. I do agree though, that it is a learnt phobia, and I lay the blame for this squarely with my mother. It's mental when you think about it - we as fully grown adults, are larger and stronger than any spider by an absolute order of magnitude. It's like a t-rex being petrified of mice!
It simply doesn't make rational or logical sense
ApexJimi said:
I am scared and fascinated in equal measures, by spiders. They're genuinely cool critters!
I don't mind small ones, ie smaller than a 5p, and will quite happily handle them. Anything bigger than that, not a chance. I do agree though, that it is a learnt phobia, and I lay the blame for this squarely with my mother. It's mental when you think about it - we as fully grown adults, are larger and stronger than any spider by an absolute order of magnitude. It's like a t-rex being petrified of mice!
It simply doesn't make rational or logical sense
I don't mind small ones, ie smaller than a 5p, and will quite happily handle them. Anything bigger than that, not a chance. I do agree though, that it is a learnt phobia, and I lay the blame for this squarely with my mother. It's mental when you think about it - we as fully grown adults, are larger and stronger than any spider by an absolute order of magnitude. It's like a t-rex being petrified of mice!
It simply doesn't make rational or logical sense
I too am fine with small ones (under an inch in size). In fact I've photographed plenty of small ones and am fascinated by them, especially jumping spiders. I'm actually better with small (<1") ones around the house than my girlfriend, but she'll let a tarantula crawl around on her hand...Phobias are indeed entirely irrational. Lewis Hamilton is scared of spiders, yet he described suspension failure and hurtling into a wall at over 100mph as "kinda fun really"..
Weird how the mind works sometimes!
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