PH Carpool: BMW E61 M5 Touring

From RS6 Avant to M5 Touring. Want to know how they compare? Read on...

Any PHer would have been thrilled to drive 300 miles in a 510bhp/550lbft Audi estate and then switch seats to drive the M5 Tourer for another 300 miles in the opposite direction. For Eddie Cain (ecain63), however, it was a sad time...

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Eddie...

"Two years I had my barge. Two years of pure pleasure and thrills. It worked as a fantastic owner's club car, a brilliant holiday hack and an even better dog-mobile. With some light chassis tweaks here and there it really was an amazing beast.

"The thing with the RS was that the power and torque was always available regardless of what gear or how low down in the rev range you were. Just press the pedal and off you went with a deep rumble and a firm push in the back. You never felt like it was being stressed by all this oomph, it was merely flexing its muscles a little bit and kicking its heels back as it launched you off toward the horizon. Fuel economy wasn't bad either. 550 miles was possible from a full tank at 70mph, returning a peak of 32mpg from time to time."

...the BMW...

Having dropped the Audi off with its new owner in Leeds, Eddie made the trip back down to Bournemouth in the BMW. Initially he wasn't wild about it, but soon got the hang of the need to press-on to get the best out of the V10. Then winter arrived...

"BMWs have never been great in the snow, or on ice for that matter." He says. "It's only really due to the increased availability of winter tyres that Bavarian motor owners have been saved from complete vehicular abandonment during the winter months. Predictably, the Audi was incredible in the snow. Two Christmases in Scotland proved that the Lord Of The Rings was also the Lord Of The Roads when the things got a bit white and friction-free. When the snow dumped on Poole and Bournemouth I took the M5 out anyway. As an experienced Snow and Ice Driving Instructor I felt confident that I could take the M5 out and complete the undulating four-mile journey to work without issue. How wrong I was! The problem with snow is that you don't want to make any sudden movements on it and any motions need to be calculated and have a backup plan. You cannot do this with the SMG 'box. No clutch pedal means no control; it's either ON or OFF. My journey to work was fun but I quickly made the decision to do it only once."

...and its predecessor

By February, though, he was getting the hang of the M5 and noted that the brakes resisted fade far better than the Brembo items on his previous Audi. But then...

"On a standard 30mph trawl into Bournemouth I felt the car shudder pulling away from the traffic lights. It did it a couple of times on that journey and the immediate reaction was pure panic. Rumours of a £2700 bill for a new clutch ran around my head along with memories of the fear I felt worrying about the RS6's slush box that weighed in at £7k per refit. I was lucky with my RS and the original box is now well past 100k miles with its current owner thanks to regular maintenance and hypochondria. I intended to remain on the green side of skint and pressed on to investigate exactly what caused the dreaded, wallet emptying sensation."

The car was fixed in March and since then there has been nothing untoward to report. "I have adjusted a couple of my own practises to make my inputs more efficient. Generally getting to know the car's workings is also helping to improve my ability as far as handling and performance is concerned. Regular Sunday Services, Breakfast meets and Pub Clubs also keep the car fit and exercised, as well as in the eye of the lens. It's amazing how such a dull-looking car can capture the imagination of people of all backgrounds just by the presence of an M badge or PH sticker."

Eddie toyed with the idea of changing the back boxes in January but conflicting advice from PHers changed his mind and he stuck with the standard voice of BMW's own brand. "I searched the US forums as well and the general consensus there was to make it as loud as possible, which really isn't what the E61 is about. Tiff Needell hit the nail on the head back in 2005 when he tested the E60 M5. The word 'diesel' stuck in many an owner's head and even though i didn't want Satan to be screaming from the rear of my car I wasn't that impressed by the rattling, agricultural noise that came from the car at low revs. This weekend Phelix and i will be taking the trip over to Hayward and Scott to get some custom boxes fitted."

So, can he compare the M to the RS? "No. Not really. Although they both fill the same boots as a performance family cruiser, load-lugger, and dog transporter they do it in very different ways. The RS will literally pull the horizon toward you, but show it a slightly unusual corner and the car is off balance and having to slow down to find its footing. Off the line the RS also had the M pipped with the Quattro system and all that torque, but thanks to the M5's gearbox and drive system, as soon as you get above 40mph there is no doubt that the M is streets ahead in terms of real performance. There is so much still to learn and as long as the 'Ring remains a public playground I've got a dream to realise in taking the beast back to its natural home."

Has he had any thoughts yet about what to move to from the M5? "Kind of. Usually, when you least expect it priorities change and you find yourself in the seat of something quite different and at the beginning of another steep learning curve! Atom 300 perhaps?"

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danyeates

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