Learning to drive later in life
Discussion
My wife is in her mid fourties and doesn't drive. She did take lessons and took 'a large number' of driving tests about 20 years ago and then gave up on the advice of the driving examiner, with whom by now she was on first name terms, who suggested she took up dancing instead!
We are moving house to a more rural location shortly and it would be really useful if she could drive, and despite her protestations I think she is considering it. Her previous problems seemed to be driving test nerves such that her feet literally 'shook' off the pedals although she does confess to being (her words) 'an idiot when in a car'. She isn't even a good passenger because she cannot navigate and tends to open the door when the car is still moving when I am parking up. She does get annoyed when she sees stupid people passing their tests and cannot understand why she is so unsuited to driving (or rarher thinks she is).
So, how do I get her on the road to act as my non-drinking chaffeur? I have had a few ideas:
Our new house has a private road about a mile long and we now have an automatic. I am thinking I should encourage her to drive up to the public road to get her confidence up with no other traffic and for her to see how easy it is to steer and brake when she isn't alos changing gears.
I think if I tried to teach her beyond that we would kill each other within an hour and we should simply get her auto lessons?
We are moving house to a more rural location shortly and it would be really useful if she could drive, and despite her protestations I think she is considering it. Her previous problems seemed to be driving test nerves such that her feet literally 'shook' off the pedals although she does confess to being (her words) 'an idiot when in a car'. She isn't even a good passenger because she cannot navigate and tends to open the door when the car is still moving when I am parking up. She does get annoyed when she sees stupid people passing their tests and cannot understand why she is so unsuited to driving (or rarher thinks she is).
So, how do I get her on the road to act as my non-drinking chaffeur? I have had a few ideas:
Our new house has a private road about a mile long and we now have an automatic. I am thinking I should encourage her to drive up to the public road to get her confidence up with no other traffic and for her to see how easy it is to steer and brake when she isn't alos changing gears.
I think if I tried to teach her beyond that we would kill each other within an hour and we should simply get her auto lessons?
Automatic is definitely a good idea. My brother learned to drive in his forties and never did quite get the hang of changing gear manually. Getting an automatic made things much better for him as it allowed him to concentrate on other things. He is a much better driver for it.
As you have the convenience of a private road, your idea of getting your wife to drive along that should give her a bit of confidence and then it'll be a case of finding a patient instructor with whom your wife can feel comfortable. Female instructor, perhaps?
In the meantime, where do you live and can you let me know when she's on the roads so I can stay at home.
As you have the convenience of a private road, your idea of getting your wife to drive along that should give her a bit of confidence and then it'll be a case of finding a patient instructor with whom your wife can feel comfortable. Female instructor, perhaps?
In the meantime, where do you live and can you let me know when she's on the roads so I can stay at home.
With respect, I think you're actively promoting an accident waiting to happen.
It's sounds as though she has co-ordination issues for a start (opening the door before you stop).
Perhaps you should save any future money that you might spend on more lessons / tests, and just encourage her to use a taxi instead.
It's sounds as though she has co-ordination issues for a start (opening the door before you stop).
Perhaps you should save any future money that you might spend on more lessons / tests, and just encourage her to use a taxi instead.
It certainly sounds like she'll be a bit of a menace and has a blind spot when it comes to car safety.
However.
There's no reason she can't try and learn.
Perhaps in her younger days she had awareness issues that may have now passed or can be managed.
Car with an auto box.
Very large car park on a quiet empty day.
See if she can drive round a bit – perhaps even put some cones out.
But, without trying to sound like a teacher, if she's a total lost cause then let it go.
However.
There's no reason she can't try and learn.
Perhaps in her younger days she had awareness issues that may have now passed or can be managed.
Car with an auto box.
Very large car park on a quiet empty day.
See if she can drive round a bit – perhaps even put some cones out.
But, without trying to sound like a teacher, if she's a total lost cause then let it go.
Go for more lessons - time behind the wheel sounds like it is the most important thing for your wife so that she gets some confidence. An auto and quiet roads should also help.
But, don't just try one teacher. What was the old teacher like? Previously, was your wife actually learning how to drive properly or was she just a cash cow for the instructor and where the lessons were too focussed on scraping a pass in the test?
A good instructor ought to make the world of difference but don't assume the first one you try is the best available.
But, don't just try one teacher. What was the old teacher like? Previously, was your wife actually learning how to drive properly or was she just a cash cow for the instructor and where the lessons were too focussed on scraping a pass in the test?
A good instructor ought to make the world of difference but don't assume the first one you try is the best available.
braddo said:
Go for more lessons - time behind the wheel sounds like it is the most important thing for your wife so that she gets some confidence. An auto and quiet roads should also help.
But, don't just try one teacher. What was the old teacher like? Previously, was your wife actually learning how to drive properly or was she just a cash cow for the instructor and where the lessons were too focussed on scraping a pass in the test?
A good instructor ought to make the world of difference but don't assume the first one you try is the best available.
I think she showed the competence up to the test but fell apart on the day(s). She seems to have poor risk perception, as she panics at every side road if a vehicle is braking down to give way, but doesn't realise that opening the door while I am reversing into a parking space is not a good idea. He has got very good hand-eye co-ordination in every other respect: she can play ball sports to a good standard (oh Matron!), is not too clumsy etc.But, don't just try one teacher. What was the old teacher like? Previously, was your wife actually learning how to drive properly or was she just a cash cow for the instructor and where the lessons were too focussed on scraping a pass in the test?
A good instructor ought to make the world of difference but don't assume the first one you try is the best available.
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