I need your car related insults

[Stiglet80]

I have a race lined up shortly and the fighting talk has begun and I always thought I was good an insulting people but I have quick ran out of ideas!

I am talking about things like..

• Your car is so slow it has a calender for a speedo

• Your car is so stupid the manual is written in crayon

Childish immature type insults.

I thought PH would be the expert in insults, especially car related ones.

So any help?

If it helps I am racing (and will probably lose to) a Honda Civic Type R

[discusdave]

what do you have be carefull of the vtec...

[Stiglet80]

discusdave said:

what do you have be carefull of the vtec...

I have a 2l Celica ssii, yes Vtech potential insults!

Oh also, I should state this race is taking place on a drag strip, not the A1.

[MGZRod]

Not a GT4...

I wouldn't dig a hole

[Stiglet80]

MGZRod said:

Not a GT4...

I wouldn't dig a hole

ouch. I know!

At least I could beat him in the insults, even if I can't beat him on the track

[ESOG]

here is one ive used a few times when pulling next to a Pontiac GTO; "nice cavalier!"

[cazzer]

Vtech Zoom Zoom Racer

Fear the Vtech

[W00DY]

"My Nan called, she says she wants a snazzy Civic like yours."

[davepoth]

I get "your car's st" quite a lot.

[Cunning Punt]

Wikipedia said:

Red is also used in the interior to give it a special sporting distinction and to separate it from other Honda models.

Any use?


'punt

[SuperVM]

I think you're missing an obvious opportunity to combine car related insults with "your mum" insults, examples:

The only thing more overweight than your mum is that car.
The only thing that produces more smoke than your mum's crack pipe is your car's engine.

I'm sure there are many other possibilities.

[Baryonyx]

I love insults like 'couldn't pull the skin off a rice pudding'. But that clearly doesn't apply to a Civic Type R! You'll have to go down the route of 'your car is fantastically engineered and brilliant to drive, but it is souless because it is a Honda, unlike cars with character that break down every 5 minutes'.

That said, since you're in a Japanese car yourself, playing the geo-snob card is unlikely to convince! And I suspect with a half decent driver the Type R won't have much trouble seeing off your Celica.

[p4cks]

kiss my Yaris

[Rovinghawk]

"I want a car like that when I'm older............much, much older"

RH

[boobles]

Why did you buy an Elise when you could have got an MX5!

[Stiglet80]

Well I expecting more insults than this! Thought this was PH, I normally get insults on my threads and I don't even ask for them

Baryonyx said:

I love insults like 'couldn't pull the skin off a rice pudding'. But that clearly doesn't apply to a Civic Type R! You'll have to go down the route of 'your car is fantastically engineered and brilliant to drive, but it is souless because it is a Honda, unlike cars with character that break down every 5 minutes'.

That said, since you're in a Japanese car yourself, playing the geo-snob card is unlikely to convince! And I suspect with a half decent driver the Type R won't have much trouble seeing off your Celica.

Well I reckon it will be an interesting race, both claiming (and mine claim is based on some iffy internet wiki) the same BHP, both 2l NAs, his car is heavier, mine is a lot older BUT very low mileage and tight engine, I have fair bit of track experince (but not in the Celica) he hasn't but is a mental biker. Certainly going to be fun trying and I will make him work for it. I am also racing a 2.5l Vectra but I am quite cocky I will have that. Eat ma dust!

[GTIR]

Your mother was a cleaner at the Lada factory.

[moreflaps]

When its time for an oil change, keep the oil and change the car.

I guess it's good that you don't need speed rated tyres for that...