My 1970's Pampas Grass
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Discussion

vxsmithers

Original Poster:

729 posts

224 months

Sunday 9th October 2011
quotequote all
Ok, so my front garden has been stuck in the 70's since I moved in, and now is the time to stop the local swingers thinking there is fresh meat on the street...

so, I have hacked down my pampas grass so it is now less than a foot high, but it looks like a real job to remove the almost 1 metre circumference root ball.

Question is how deep down do these bad boys grow? before I start I'd like to know what I'm getting myself in for, and also how easy they are to kill to death. I've heard they invented the word 'hardy'.

Any thoughts gratefully received!

IainZ

14,663 posts

230 months

Sunday 9th October 2011
quotequote all
vxsmithers said:
Ok, so my front garden has been stuck in the 70's since I moved in, and now is the time to stop the local swingers thinking there is fresh meat on the street...

so, I have hacked down my pampas grass so it is now less than a foot high, but it looks like a real job to remove the almost 1 metre circumference root ball.

Question is how deep down do these bad boys grow? before I start I'd like to know what I'm getting myself in for, and also how easy they are to kill to death. I've heard they invented the word 'hardy'.

Any thoughts gratefully received!
They are a nightmare to dig out. Suggest poisoning it and/or get a bloke with a stump grinder in.

vxsmithers

Original Poster:

729 posts

224 months

Sunday 9th October 2011
quotequote all
IainZ said:
vxsmithers said:
Ok, so my front garden has been stuck in the 70's since I moved in, and now is the time to stop the local swingers thinking there is fresh meat on the street...

so, I have hacked down my pampas grass so it is now less than a foot high, but it looks like a real job to remove the almost 1 metre circumference root ball.

Question is how deep down do these bad boys grow? before I start I'd like to know what I'm getting myself in for, and also how easy they are to kill to death. I've heard they invented the word 'hardy'.

Any thoughts gratefully received!
They are a nightmare to dig out. Suggest poisoning it and/or get a bloke with a stump grinder in.
I thought this would be the answer, my neighbour advised poisoning but i'm struggling to get the thing down to ground level, so think even if I poison the thing it will be a struggle to get out. Not sure how stump grinders work, but this seems to be a million reeds rather than a stump which can be ground out...


netherfield

3,105 posts

208 months

Sunday 9th October 2011
quotequote all
In a similar position last year,I trimmed down as far as possible with a hedge trimmer.

Then attacked the bottom with a sharp axe,by chopping vertically in small sections and then horizontally I finally got rid, but it took quite a few hours to do.

Don't try burning it out,it seems to make it come back even more vigorous.

eldar

24,940 posts

220 months

Sunday 9th October 2011
quotequote all
netherfield said:
Don't try burning it out,it seems to make it come back even more vigorous.
True, its meant to be burned every few years, so it grows nice and strong and natural.

Bamboo is worse, though. Nuke it and it springs up all over the place.....

Simpo Two

91,622 posts

289 months

Sunday 9th October 2011
quotequote all
netherfield said:
Then attacked the bottom with a sharp axe,by chopping vertically in small sections and then horizontally
Yep, a pickaxe did mine.

Mr Gearchange

5,892 posts

230 months

Sunday 9th October 2011
quotequote all
IainZ said:
get a bloke with a stump grinder in.
He was trying to deter sex people

DBSV8

5,958 posts

262 months

Monday 10th October 2011
quotequote all
Mr Gearchange said:
"Stump grinder"

He was trying to deter sex people
that would be a gay with a chipped front tooth

getmecoat

thinfourth2

32,414 posts

228 months

Monday 10th October 2011
quotequote all
So they are pretty much unkillable

Excellent

I have ben tasked with moving one in our garden

now where did i leave the keys to the digger?

vxsmithers

Original Poster:

729 posts

224 months

Monday 10th October 2011
quotequote all
Mr Gearchange said:
IainZ said:
get a bloke with a stump grinder in.
He was trying to deter sex people
laugh

axe and / or mattock it is then. Good to see I'm not the only one whose struggled with these!

eybic

9,212 posts

198 months

Monday 10th October 2011
quotequote all
I have "fond" memories of attacking one of these when I was a gardener. Good luck and use the force.

Tanguero

4,535 posts

225 months

Tuesday 11th October 2011
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Its probably easiest just to accept it and start swinging.

RemainAllHoof

79,541 posts

306 months

Tuesday 11th October 2011
quotequote all
Mr Gearchange said:
sex people
hehe

"Lynn - they're sex people!"

Muncher

12,235 posts

273 months

Tuesday 11th October 2011
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I still think burning it is the a good idea, it's how we got rid of a few of them.

Dig around it as much as you can to expose some of the roots and build a proper bonfire with plenty of wood over and around it. If it burns hot enough it's going to take almost all of it out and leave a minimal amount of digging at the end to remove the remnants.

Plus, killing it with fire is surely the PH spirit?

OlberJ

14,101 posts

257 months

Tuesday 11th October 2011
quotequote all
Muncher said:
I still think burning it is a good idea,
Look, he said he wanted no more sex people. Bumming plants in the front garden will only attract them!

vxsmithers

Original Poster:

729 posts

224 months

Tuesday 11th October 2011
quotequote all
Muncher said:
I still think burning it is the a good idea, it's how we got rid of a few of them.

Dig around it as much as you can to expose some of the roots and build a proper bonfire with plenty of wood over and around it. If it burns hot enough it's going to take almost all of it out and leave a minimal amount of digging at the end to remove the remnants.

Plus, killing it with fire is surely the PH spirit?
Although I do enjoy a good fire, I have been warned against this for several reasons:

1) it may attract swingers wanting to incur vbrj, stealth may be the key
2) my fence is less than 1 metre from said plant
3) next door's cars are parked next to said fence and worth considerably more than a couple of hours with a pick axe. not to mention their / my house. (wait for the comedy story of flinging an axe though a car window)

fire still sounds like a good option, until you see how wet the root ball is, and the fact that it won't burn downwards.

I'll have to find something else to burn and hope the swingers don't spot me getting sweaty with an axe...

RemainAllHoof

79,541 posts

306 months

Tuesday 11th October 2011
quotequote all
If I read correctly, if you hack away the "leaves" you get a large stump? Why not pour weed killer on the stump and see what happens?

Mr Gearchange

5,892 posts

230 months

Tuesday 11th October 2011
quotequote all
Or Diesel.

Then hammer some copper nails into it.

vxsmithers

Original Poster:

729 posts

224 months

Tuesday 11th October 2011
quotequote all
its more like a reed bed than anything you can hammer copper nails into, but the weed killer is an option mentioned a few times, so I think I'll dig and hack away for a bit then pour something nasty on it if that doesn't go well!

When I get round to tackling it I'll post the results...

vxsmithers

Original Poster:

729 posts

224 months

Friday 14th October 2011
quotequote all
Bought a mattock today, 20 minutes and the thing was gone. Way easier than I thought it would be! just need to make sure i've gotten rid of all the small roots now...

Is is worth throwing a bit of poison down to make sure it doesn't return, and if so, what? Nothing will be replanted there until spring.