Life Coach - Anyone used one?

[Anthony Micallef]

Has anybody used one to help them see what direction to take their life in? Are they any good or can you get the same advice perhaps from a website/book?

Im 39 and completely fed up! I've always suffered from a lack of confidence and self esteem and as a result have under achieved most of my life.

I'm 20 years in to my working life and have always been at the level of a team member and nothing higher. Currently working in IT for a large company for less than £25k a year with no sign of it going anywhere!

I've never been a career person really so I guess its no surprise to me that Ive not achieved much.

Problem is now I'm getting really down and feel that my life has no meaning or direction. I cant do this for another 20 years. You hear people say that everyone is good at something and has something to offer but I just dont feel I have.

My wife suggested speaking to a life coach to help me work out what I want from life but Im a bit sceptical.

Apart from MTFU has anyone any constructive advice?

[RemainAllHoof]

Well, you WILL probably get the same advice from a book or website. The difference is that with a website/book, you can just think, "Yeah, that sounds like good advice" but you'll be posting this exact same thread in 20 years' time. With a life coach, if they do their job, then you will be looking back and thinking how glad you were to have posted this thread. If you take them seriously (and you will if you're paying £60 per hour!), then it's like having a boss for your personal life who you will have to answer to with regard to goals you've agreed to achieve.

However, it would also be worthwhile looking at your confidence issues - life coaches are there to take a person and help them excel rather than sort out psychological issues - for that, you need some kind of therapist or counsellor.

[Anthony Micallef]

Thank you for your reply.

[didelydoo]

I think you should inject some kind of physical training into your life- you'll be amazed you much better you may feel if you're exercising with an aim in mind- be it strength, endurance- maybe even something competative like a martial art? Your confidence will also get a boost and it may inspire you to take a new direction.

However, this isn't everybodies cup of tea.

[BenM77]

didelydoo said:

I think you should inject some kind of physical training into your life- you'll be amazed you much better you may feel if you're exercising with an aim in mind- be it strength, endurance- maybe even something competative like a martial art? Your confidence will also get a boost and it may inspire you to take a new direction.

However, this isn't everybodies cup of tea.

This is actually very good advice, you won't know if its your cup of tea until you give it a go but physical activity is good for more than just your body, good luck with whatever you decide and the fact you have a loving wife is something to be proud of

ben

[Anthony Micallef]

Thanks for your advice. Its funny that the times I do feel good is when Ive been on a nice walk with the dog I really dont do any other exercise other than that. Ive recently got the cycling bug but as yet have no bike. Hope to rectify that in the new year so we'll see what comes of that.

[Anthony Micallef]

Thanks for your advice. Its funny that the times I do feel good is when Ive been on a nice walk with the dog I really dont do any other exercise other than that. Ive recently got the cycling bug but as yet have no bike. Hope to rectify that in the new year so we'll see what comes of that.

[Super Slo Mo]

I used the services of one a few years back, being a complete sceptic to any of this wishy washy, touchy feely stuff, I was utterly surprised by how useful it actually turned out to be.
I ended up having a complete change in direction, quitting my job, and setting up my own company with a mate and my brother. Whether it was the right decision time will tell, financially I'm no better off, yet, but hopefully that will change as we build the business. It also helped me jettison stuff which was distracting me, but which wasn't actually helping me achieve anything.

A life coach should be able to help you find out what you like, what you're good at, and what you're not so good at or what you don't enjoy so much. They help you take an objective look at yourself, and make decisions that should effect you for the better.

[renmure]

The exercise idea is a good one to follow up.

In relation to a Life Coach, it is certainly nothing I have any experience of but a neighbour (a senior academic, emeritus professor and university vice principal) uses one on a reasonably regular basis and is very positive about the benefits he gets from it.

[taffyracer]

Not used as such but I do have good mates who do similar and sometimes bounce stuff off them....The fact that you're saying that your self esteem and confidence is low means that you do need to do something, whether it be life coach or a psychologist, or both, doing something in itself is a positive thing....do it, also why Jan for the bike thing, again just do it, you'll be amazed how much better you feel for doing something positive towards the issues, everyone has issues but not everyone has the bks to admit it and do something about it

[Sticks.]

Have you googled The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People? Quite a good format for personal and career development alike. Available in book, cd or downloads - short, long and very long versions.

[Ken Sington]

I think you have to be careul in who you choose. I had the hard sell from one a few years back and he wanted to stick his nose into every aspect of my life, and when I say every, I mean every! He also got very snitty when I told him I wasn't interested, which in some way confirmed that he wasn't the one to be talking to!

[Jimslips]

Sticks. said:

Have you googled The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People? Quite a good format for personal and career development alike. Available in book, cd or downloads - short, long and very long versions.

I searched for that and I was very tempted to purchse it. There are a few from dale carnegie also which look worth a read. Most can be bought for £5-6 including delivery

[Sticks.]

Jimslips said:

Sticks. said:

Have you googled The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People? Quite a good format for personal and career development alike. Available in book, cd or downloads - short, long and very long versions.

I searched for that and I was very tempted to purchse it. There are a few from dale carnegie also which look worth a read. Most can be bought for £5-6 including delivery

I think I bought a short (1hr 40m ish) download from iTunes. Covers the main points which you can then expand on via the long version or books.

[Jimslips]

Sticks. said:

I think I bought a short (1hr 40m ish) download from iTunes. Covers the main points which you can then expand on via the long version or books.

What's the rough cost?
Worthwhile yeah?

[Sticks.]

Jimslips said:

Sticks. said:

I think I bought a short (1hr 40m ish) download from iTunes. Covers the main points which you can then expand on via the long version or books.

What's the rough cost?
Worthwhile yeah?

Can't remember how much the download was. Not that dear. Yes, short recording was a good intro. Check on iTunes for the variations, books on Amazon iirc. Recommend it, but which version is up to you.