You bounders lied to me...

[DickusMaximus]

Now look here you lot, I may be installed in a bar on the firm's expenses but I know a rum cove when I see one and I reckon I'm lookin' at one (hundred) right now. Namely, the very porcine denizens of this here forum.

I read the Porsche Swordsman fora
I sold the Jag
I bought the 911...


Where are the lasses? I mean, what? I was promised lasses. And knickers. Special knickers.

Question...

My 996 is a lowly R reg.

Does this mean the magic only works up north? Must one leave the krautside lane of the M25 fur die dumme Frauleine to start self basting or wot?

And mine has a bleedin' spoiler and, erm, other special Porsche stuff (I dunno but it looks nice to me)

Absolute shower the lot of you

Edited by DickusMaximus on Wednesday 18th January 19:28

Edited by DickusMaximus on Wednesday 18th January 19:30

[anniesdad]

Hehe.

Let's have a look at pictures of you with the car so we can see what the problem is.

[C4SHONEY]

Any 911 will snap knicker elastic at 10 paces.

[996ttalot]

OP you have got it all wrong - it is standard protocol for girls to take off their knickers before getting into a Porsche
Just get yourself a warning sticker to that effect and put it on the vanity mirror - works every time for those that don't follow protocol !

[DickusMaximus]

996ttalot said:

OP you have got it all wrong - it is standard protocol for girls to take off their knickers before getting into a Porsche
Just get yourself a warning sticker to that effect and put it on the vanity mirror - works every time for those that don't follow protocol !

Aye,but I like 'em big. That's why I got rid of the Boxster. I had to tell the new owner that there was a distinct possibility of half of a lass called Gladys stuck in the roof mechanism. Nightmare.

I thought with the four seated comfort afforded by the 996 for the casual 'country lane hooligan' (sex pest) that I'd be knee deep in quality tottie.

I'll try the sign in Polish.


And Welsh.

[F3RNANDO]

C4SHONEY said:

Any wide bodied 911 will snap knicker elastic at 10 paces.

EFA!
Shouldn't have gone cheap!

[Stevej33]

DickusMaximus said:

My 996 is a lowly R reg.

It only works on the 2000MY cars and newer...

The option you desire is 069 and only available on the Millennium cars!

Sorry!

[delmatt]

Aye,but I like 'em big. That's why I got rid of the Boxster. I had to tell the new owner that there was a distinct possibility of half of a lass called Gladys stuck in the roof mechanism. Nightmare.


I cant remember the details but was this referring to the hilarious post about taking a large girl out in a Boxster? that thread kept me chuckling for ages. Cant seem to find it now though.

[delmatt]

Aye,but I like 'em big. That's why I got rid of the Boxster. I had to tell the new owner that there was a distinct possibility of half of a lass called Gladys stuck in the roof mechanism. Nightmare.


I cant remember the details but was this referring to the hilarious post about taking a large girl out in a Boxster? that thread kept me chuckling for ages. Cant seem to find it now though.

[offendi]

C4SHONEY said:

Any 911 will snap a gentleman's knicker elastic at 10 paces.

EFA

[thegoose]

delmatt said:

I cant remember the details but was this referring to the hilarious post about taking a large girl out in a Boxster? that thread kept me chuckling for ages. Cant seem to find it now though.

Here you go
will a fat bird fit in a Boxster thread

[Legacywr]

Did they actually say a 996?

[BertBert]

Stevej33 said:

It only works on the 2000MY cars and newer...

The option you desire is 069 and only available on the Millennium cars!

Sorry!

You can get aftermarket versions of the 069 option, but they void the warranty.

[Moosh]

thegoose said:

Here you go
will a fat bird fit in a Boxster thread

thank you, thank you,

[theredbaron]

Love it

[Slippydiff]

delmatt said:

Aye,but I like 'em big. That's why I got rid of the Boxster. I had to tell the new owner that there was a distinct possibility of half of a lass called Gladys stuck in the roof mechanism. Nightmare.

Therein lies your problem. You need a Cayenne or a Panamera.

I believe the Panamera is available with a heated steering wheel, might be a good way to avoid those "Oooh, that's cold" moments . . .

[Rockster]

DickusMaximus said:

Now look here you lot, I may be installed in a bar on the firm's expenses but I know a rum cove when I see one and I reckon I'm lookin' at one (hundred) right now. Namely, the very porcine denizens of this here forum.

I read the Porsche Swordsman fora
I sold the Jag
I bought the 911...


Where are the lasses? I mean, what? I was promised lasses. And knickers. Special knickers.

Question...

My 996 is a lowly R reg.

Does this mean the magic only works up north? Must one leave the krautside lane of the M25 fur die dumme Frauleine to start self basting or wot?

And mine has a bleedin' spoiler and, erm, other special Porsche stuff (I dunno but it looks nice to me)

Absolute shower the lot of you

Edited by DickusMaximus on Wednesday 18th January 19:28

Edited by DickusMaximus on Wednesday 18th January 19:30

Lowly 996 R reg...? That's the problem. Everyone knows the car that pull the birds is the Turbo.

Sincerely.

Rockster.

[StuB]

DickusMaximus said:

I'll try the sign in Polish.

Oop North, this WILL work. The most wonderful hareem of whitest polish flesh you could ever desrire awaits you in Goole, East Yorkshire!

Now get in there and fill yer boots.

And share the pics afterwards