An ode to the detailer

[Vladimir]

You used to spray that mud off with a squashed hosepipe. Now you must use a commercial grade pressure washer and costly snow foam.
You used to smile when you gave the car a quick sponge. Now a sponge is evil and full of vicious grit.
Sometimes you used to occasionally chamois the car as a treat. Now that chamois is as bad as a Brillo pad and you MUST fully dry it every time with a special cloth.
Once a year you'd go a bit mad and polish it with a bit of Turtlewax polish. Now it must cost more than a meal out for two and take a full day to apply.
You used to brush off a bit of dirt or grit on your cleaning items then carry on. Now you throw them away and buy new at the merest hint of some dust.
You used to grin when it looked shiny . Now you wince at all those swirl marks and stone chips.
The car wash used to be handy. Now it's worse than flailing the car with a petrol strummer.
"Clean" used to mean "washed." Now it must be clayed, foamed, gently washed with a mitten then given several stages of preparation, polish, sealant and more.

You used to be happy. But now, you're a detailer.

Edited by Vladimir on Thursday 16th February 22:43

[richtea78]

It only gets swirly if you dont use the 2 bucket method and take some care with it

[jjones]

and it's washing or cleaning, detailing is like claming your flat is an appartment.

[Vladimir]

Mine is swirl free and I use the two bucket method.

JJones - I only scratched the surface on what else happens (pardon the pun)...;)

And I know you both get what I mean too...;) And your replies also prove my point perfectly...

Edited by Vladimir on Thursday 16th February 22:44

[halo34]

How true, I was happier in ignorance of swirls, foaming, gently stroking the car with a pot of sweet smelling wax.

Neighbours that think your odd because your rubbing your car, and streetlights taking that brief moment of its done away from you again...

[richtea78]

What really pisses me off is when I forget that I have headlamp washers and it squirts foam all over my lovely clean bonnet

[Noesph]

true, ignorance is bliss. I've spend too much money and time worrying about a clean car really.

[Refined Detail]

I believe it's called progression or evolution

[Vladimir]

Refined Detail said:

I believe it's called progression or evolution

I believe it's called "bloody expensive" and "misunderstood by the other half!"

[stewies_minion]

A complete waste of time.

That in no way will stop me cleaning the backs of my wheels tomorrow.

Tragic.

[Vladimir]

stewies_minion said:

A complete waste of time.

That in no way will stop me cleaning the backs of my wheels tomorrow.

Tragic.

[dhariwab]

Bloody detailing! How i long for the days before meguiars stole my sanity and a grit filled dirty old sponge with a squirt of fairy liquid in the bucket was as complex as the process ever got

[Jammy Dodger]

I had my car done by Paul Dalton. - Miracle Detail (as seen on TV) - once. Never again. Turned up late, hung over, did a Half-arsed job. No better than the Polish "hand wash for a fiver" brigade. This experience is the cornerstone of my wife's "you're a mug " arsenal.

[bencollins]

jjones said:

and it's washing or cleaning, detailing is like claming your flat is an appartment.

lol