Excuses for a hoon?
Discussion
What excuses have you used to give the car a beasting?
Today, being Mother's Day, has probably provided my best so far. As I'm in the West Midlands and my Mother just outside Swansea, I thought I'd surprise her with an impromptu visit.
I elected to avoid the usual M5/M50/M4 route in favour of something a little more, well, involving.
The route went through Kidderminster on the A456, passed the Wyre Forest before heading for Tenbury Wells and Woofferton where I then picked up the A49.
This led me to the chortle-inducing Camp Wood and Long Wood before spitting me out in Leominster. This then provided the A44/A4112 passed Weobley and onto the A438 through the lovely village of Whitney-on-Wye which sits on the England/Wales border.
Before I know it, I'n im Bronllys and heading for the foot of the Brecon Beacons on the A470 before slicing through it on the fantastic, serpentine blacktop for many miles before being deposited just outside Hirwaun on the A4059 and beating a quick path to the A465 which leads ot the green, green grass of home.
After about 15 minutes on the road whilst tearing passed the Wyre Forest, I claim my first 'hoon cliche' of the day...
An old man - walking a dog - stops dead in his tracks, jaw gradually lowering and head turns in my direction of
travel in perfect syncopation. Unfortunately, he didn't shake his fist at me which I was slightly miffed about. I take it as a slight on my pace.
About 20 minutes later (whilst gathering the aforementioned pace ) and passing the 'other Sunday drivers' I claim my second 'hoon cliche' of the day as I'm faced with this idiot rapidly emerging from a shrubbery at the side of the road.
The inevitable happens and a rapidly expanding cloud of feathers appears in my rear view mirror.
This is only the second time I've hit wildlife in the 19 years of driving so I'm a little sad for taking out a defenceless (but ultimately dim) bird, but my previous experience would suggest there will be a cost implication as a result of the impact.
Not wishing to impede my progress, I decide not to stop and check until I reach my destination. In the meantime, I'm getting increasingly close to the beckoning Beacons.
Monkland (which was bereft of Monks) gave me a second opportunity to clobber a pheasant as well as a squirrel. I managed to avoid both this time - although the squizzer came very close to lubricating my o/s/f tyre.
Approaching Bronllys Hospital, I find an appropriately parked car given the location.
Someone clearly ran out of talent on the entry to the roundabout which was a timely reminder of how easy it is to get over-indulged and ruin your day.
Thankfully, the views, road and weather were improving which more than made up for it.
I soon sidle up to the Beacons Reservoir which diverts me to the A4059 which is where it gets a bit serious.
The wet stuff has hit the blackstuff so the Michelins protest by sliding around at any opportunity. In addition, the wildlife has gotten substantially larger and dumber (read; sheep) so I have to focus that little bit more.
Once I reach the top, it's a straightforward and easly blat to my destination. The OBC states a consumption of 20.7mpg (not bad considering the drive) and the front bumper looks like this...
Mama Mute was more than surprised to see me which went over well so not only do I feel good for giving the old girl some joy for the day, I had a superb drive to boot.
It's been some time since I've had such an enjoyable drive which was certainly aided by the clement weather, quiet roads and beautiful scenery. It was so nice, infact, that I decided to repeat it on the return journey...
Today, being Mother's Day, has probably provided my best so far. As I'm in the West Midlands and my Mother just outside Swansea, I thought I'd surprise her with an impromptu visit.
I elected to avoid the usual M5/M50/M4 route in favour of something a little more, well, involving.
The route went through Kidderminster on the A456, passed the Wyre Forest before heading for Tenbury Wells and Woofferton where I then picked up the A49.
This led me to the chortle-inducing Camp Wood and Long Wood before spitting me out in Leominster. This then provided the A44/A4112 passed Weobley and onto the A438 through the lovely village of Whitney-on-Wye which sits on the England/Wales border.
Before I know it, I'n im Bronllys and heading for the foot of the Brecon Beacons on the A470 before slicing through it on the fantastic, serpentine blacktop for many miles before being deposited just outside Hirwaun on the A4059 and beating a quick path to the A465 which leads ot the green, green grass of home.
After about 15 minutes on the road whilst tearing passed the Wyre Forest, I claim my first 'hoon cliche' of the day...
An old man - walking a dog - stops dead in his tracks, jaw gradually lowering and head turns in my direction of
travel in perfect syncopation. Unfortunately, he didn't shake his fist at me which I was slightly miffed about. I take it as a slight on my pace.
About 20 minutes later (whilst gathering the aforementioned pace ) and passing the 'other Sunday drivers' I claim my second 'hoon cliche' of the day as I'm faced with this idiot rapidly emerging from a shrubbery at the side of the road.
The inevitable happens and a rapidly expanding cloud of feathers appears in my rear view mirror.
This is only the second time I've hit wildlife in the 19 years of driving so I'm a little sad for taking out a defenceless (but ultimately dim) bird, but my previous experience would suggest there will be a cost implication as a result of the impact.
Not wishing to impede my progress, I decide not to stop and check until I reach my destination. In the meantime, I'm getting increasingly close to the beckoning Beacons.
Monkland (which was bereft of Monks) gave me a second opportunity to clobber a pheasant as well as a squirrel. I managed to avoid both this time - although the squizzer came very close to lubricating my o/s/f tyre.
Approaching Bronllys Hospital, I find an appropriately parked car given the location.
Someone clearly ran out of talent on the entry to the roundabout which was a timely reminder of how easy it is to get over-indulged and ruin your day.
Thankfully, the views, road and weather were improving which more than made up for it.
I soon sidle up to the Beacons Reservoir which diverts me to the A4059 which is where it gets a bit serious.
The wet stuff has hit the blackstuff so the Michelins protest by sliding around at any opportunity. In addition, the wildlife has gotten substantially larger and dumber (read; sheep) so I have to focus that little bit more.
Once I reach the top, it's a straightforward and easly blat to my destination. The OBC states a consumption of 20.7mpg (not bad considering the drive) and the front bumper looks like this...
Mama Mute was more than surprised to see me which went over well so not only do I feel good for giving the old girl some joy for the day, I had a superb drive to boot.
It's been some time since I've had such an enjoyable drive which was certainly aided by the clement weather, quiet roads and beautiful scenery. It was so nice, infact, that I decided to repeat it on the return journey...
GravelBen said:
Frances The Mute said:
What excuses have you used to give the car a beasting?
I think the best was 'I think the car is due for a hiding, it hasn't had one in a while'
I work shifts so my sleeping patterns get a little messy, i think my favourite excuse currently is "I couldn't sleep".
although it does serve as a painful reminder as to just how devoid of fun London's roads are 
Thanks for sharing.Cheers, chaps. I was hoping it would offer something of a change from posts full of MX5 recommendations and MLM rants.
I commute nearly 600 miles each week and I'm sick of driving (crawling) on motorways with a busy weekend to make up for the lost time spent travelling throughout the week, I figured I needed to make more of an effort.
Also, it's not an average hoon. It was about 116 miles door to door which roughly equates to a full tank of fuel - just shy of 90 for the good stuff.
Plus, hooning that distance on those roads takes a lot of concentration.
Trefy5 said:
Great story backed up with super photos of the semi-local area to me
Ouch re the peasant
Were you on your way back when you took the photo of your motor by the reservoir?
just cos you're facing Brecon rather than MT
Good eyes. I was indeed. I didn't want to spoil the flow of the drive by turning back on myself.Ouch re the peasant
Were you on your way back when you took the photo of your motor by the reservoir?
just cos you're facing Brecon rather than MT
djdestiny said:
Why do you need an excuse? If you want to go for a drive then just go for one!
Indeed. The thing is, real life easily gets in the way. It's easy for everyone to get caught up in things and forget their car is capable of delivering such fun.I commute nearly 600 miles each week and I'm sick of driving (crawling) on motorways with a busy weekend to make up for the lost time spent travelling throughout the week, I figured I needed to make more of an effort.
Also, it's not an average hoon. It was about 116 miles door to door which roughly equates to a full tank of fuel - just shy of 90 for the good stuff.
Plus, hooning that distance on those roads takes a lot of concentration.
GravelBen said:
Frances The Mute said:
What excuses have you used to give the car a beasting?
I think the best was 'I think the car is due for a hiding, it hasn't had one in a while'"it needs a thrashing as you drive it too slowly" to the OH.
Saturday night:
OH "we need tomatoes, wine and chocolate...... nip to spar whilst I cook tea?"
spar is 0.3miles away
I return 45minutes later.
OH "where've you been?"
Me: "errm..... co-op......."
OH "that's in XYZ town, 9miles away?"
Me: "yeah..... the Mondeo just took me that way"
thrashed properly
NotDave said:
GravelBen said:
Frances The Mute said:
What excuses have you used to give the car a beasting?
I think the best was 'I think the car is due for a hiding, it hasn't had one in a while'"it needs a thrashing as you drive it too slowly" to the OH.
Saturday night:
OH "we need tomatoes, wine and chocolate...... nip to spar whilst I cook tea?"
spar is 0.3miles away
I return 45minutes later.
OH "where've you been?"
Me: "errm..... co-op......."
OH "that's in XYZ town, 9miles away?"
Me: "yeah..... the Mondeo just took me that way"
thrashed properly
EDLT said:
She's going to accuse you of cheating
Nah.Unfortunately she knows that I'm a geek, and that 99% of the time, if I'm "Oggling" a passing vehicle, it's the car and not the tart in it that I'm checking out.
She also knows that I'm a petrolhead through and through. When we met I was doing circa 40k miles per annum to work etc, and would still do another 10-15k a year of hooning and social use
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