RANT: What would you do?

[benjj]

I live in a tiny hamlet in the Yorkshire Dales - perhaps 20-25 houses along a single small country road. The road doesn't really lead anywhere so doesn't get much traffic, either car or on foot.

We're not made very welcome here - we moved in nearly 5 years ago (from London which goes down about as well as a fart in a lift) and the rest of the neighbours, with the exception of half a dozen, are about as friendly as the bd child of Adolf Hitler and Myra Hindley.

About 3 months ago we had some work going on at the house so my wife parked her car (not fancy, a 52 plate Golf 5 door) on the road outside some cottages. The next day it had a two foot long scratch down the side. I was not impressed but the car is banged up (wife is a terrible driver) so I didn't get too stressed about it. I did however put a note through every door in the village asking if anyone had seen anything. This didn't get a reply. I mean nobody out of the 20 houses even ever mentioned it. My address, phone number and email were on the notes to each. Friendly bunch huh.

Anyway, yesterday we had a tradesman in so I moved my car onto the road, forgot about it and left it there over night. Guess what? This morning it has been keyed (and it is a key) all down one side. 4 panels. Through the laquer ind into the paint.

Some mother fking chinless mouthbreather has walked past and keyed my fking car all down one side. You can see the scratch go up and down as they walked past as its a long car (Range Rover). I'm fking apoplectic and my wife has managed to get me to go out to the garden, calm down and have a Marlboro.

What I want to do, and what I'm particularly good at doing incidentally, is to go and drag every last backward country bumpkin out of their fking houses, line the s up and make them talk. They would fking talk too the bunch of 3 eyed Deliverance fkfaced tts.

As I'm not allowed to do that I'm a bit hamstrung. Wife suggests calling the police but I'd rather eat my own st than involve them - I've no problem with the police in general but our local bobby is probably one of these backward bd's cousins or something.

So, the only option I can come up with is to park the car where it was last night, get in the back (behind the privacy glass) and wait. And wait. I feel like I'd wait forever just to catch this and take his ing head off.

Suggestions please.

[EDLT]

Move back to London?

[v8will]

Back garden, 20 Marlboro.

[thinfourth2]

Ah the old someones parking space problem

The best solution is an old van/car with 12 months tax, MOT and insurance

Park it in the parking space that is owned by someone and leave it there for a year

[benjj]

I'm still in the garden, in the rain, on Marlboro number 4.

[Contigo]

Tough one mate, Go to the local PC shop and buy some wireless webcam/CCTV cams and rig them up on front of your house and in the RR. Wait up and watch from your house and wait for them to come out. One thing for sure is that they will probably not do it again so soon and after doing it last night but I would leave the RR there just to fking spite the little fktards.

This really gets my goat and I feel for you.

Let us know the outcome.

[FunBusMk2]

benjj said:

So, the only option I can come up with is to park the car where it was last night, get in the back (behind the privacy glass) and wait. And wait. I feel like I'd wait forever just to catch this and take his ing head off.

I'd go with this option - I think it would give you the most satisfaction if you did catch someone.

[Pints]

Life's too short. I'd had a new car only 5 days when someone did that.
Mrs Pints cried for about 3 days.

I would have done unmentionable deeds if I'd caught the and would certainly have spent time at her majesty's pleasure.
Looking back, I spent too much time letting it eat me up inside.

Sorry to hear it BTW

[benjj]

Wireless webcam isn't a bad idea.

I could always knock up a few claymores in the shed. It worked on the Bosnians so should be good enough for these bds.

Thanks for sympathy, I needed it.

[Pints]

This was being advertised on the thread.
http://www.purelygadgets.co.uk/Replay-XD1080-Compl...

[Sir Bagalot]

I know someone who had a similar thing. He bought a new car. Had it keyed twice, and repaired twice.

The third time he was waiting for them. Only happened at night. So the second time it was repaired he stayed up all night. Nowt.

Slept during the day and stayed up again. Nowt.

Same again. Stayed up. 2am he catches the old bloke three doors up scratching his car. Was simple jealously. Old bloke was made to pay for repairs and previous repairs.

I'd be tempted to park car back where it was with otherside showing and simply stay up and wait.

[TheD]

I would definitely go with the webcam option. You can get one that will take snapshots and email them to you when the motion detection is activated rather than sit and boil. Then print them all off, go round and show them the photo, then ram them up there arse.

[Contigo]

What annoys me about these situations is just how pussy this sort of act is. They would not admit to doing it so why do it? It's fking cowardice at the lowest level! If I had a beef with the way someone parked I'd go and see them and talk rationally about it rather than keying someones pride and joy. If you do get some video footage of them doing it please strap them down into a chair reservoir dogs style and make them watch it and get a confession from them! Film that and let us all have a laugh at their expense.

[rumple]

Definaltly do the webbcam thing, catch em and either A BEAT THE st OUT OF EM, or B follow them home and cover every car on their drive with brake fluid, id go with the second choice as theres less risk of plod being involved, that is if your careful, also you can bet its the same person, third id think about moving.

[thehype]

What a bunch of s, makes my blood boil. I watched my car get keyed once, in fact it happened 3 times in about a month. The vast majority of the general public are scum.

[martin84]

Live somewhere more busy. Might sound counter intuitive but it works. Cul-de-sacs and quiet areas are too full of busybodies who think they own everybody elses house to ever get on with things. I grew up in a house beside a main road in a crowded area, houses changed hands so often nobody knew each other so they always left you alone and it was so busy nobody could vandalise your car or burgle your house without being seen.

[BorkFactor]

Play the waiting game - park it up and wait inside it and catch whatever bd did it. You may be waiting a while, but it is what I would do! Failing that, camera.

[martynr]

Contigo said:

Tough one mate, Go to the local PC shop and buy some wireless webcam/CCTV cams and rig them up on front of your house and in the RR. Wait up and watch from your house and wait for them to come out. One thing for sure is that they will probably not do it again so soon and after doing it last night but I would leave the RR there just to fking spite the little fktards.

This really gets my goat and I feel for you.

Let us know the outcome.

I am with this. Once you catch it, it is up to you what to do. But I would chop the hands off...

[benjj]

Thanks chaps. I'm going to lie in wait tonight on the off chance of a repeat performance. If a no show I'll buy a webcam thingy tomorrow if the shops are open. Will it reach about 150m (line of sight)?

If I catch them it will be plasticuffs, a little chat and then they'll be paying for a complete repair on my car and the wife's. As the wife's is such a mess they'll be paying for the scuffs on all four corners too, only fair.

Then they'll be accompanying me to every other house in the village to explain what they've done and apologise for their actions.

If it happens again after that it'll be claymores and twelve bores.

[Conian]

go out tonight and key every car in the village