FAO Captain Muppet

[crofty1984]

What car should I buy?

I want a 2-seater estate with 7 wheels and a sunroof that does 40mpg minimum and has a V8. I have £1000 to spend.

Also, my mate really wants to buy a Ford Focus. He has £2000 to spend and has seen a local car in his favourite colour and perfect spec. It is within his budget and has full service history. It is in excellent condition. What car should I tell him to buy? I was thinking about suggesting a Jaguar E-type. Any thoughts?

[guffhoover]

The E Type sound interesting........but maybe 944 would suit him better.

[LuS1fer]

1978 Lincoln Continental although I wouldn't rule out the 8.0 V8 Eldorado with an LPG conversion.

[vixen1700]

Nah, what he needs is a Jensen Interceptor.

[DeadMeat_UK]

Forget them and get yourself to a Porsche dealership. You can negotiate a huge discount because the new 911 is st. Especially if you get one without a proper gearbox, they're stter and no-one wants them.

[Powerrr]

Speak to your local Gyp-sies, they will probably know someone who has what your looking for. Seriously

[Captain Muppet]

crofty1984 said:

What car should I buy?

I want a 2-seater estate with 7 wheels and a sunroof that does 40mpg minimum and has a V8. I have £1000 to spend.

E34 540i Touring with the rear seats folded down and a couple of spare wheels in the boot. Then calculate mileage by estimating how far you can go "on a tankful" and get miles and kilometers mixed up, just like everyone on MX5OC seems to.

Although it won't fit in your parking space, but for the remainder of your budget I'll let you keep it at my house, which is only an hour away by bus.

crofty1984 said:

Also, my mate really wants to buy a Ford Focus. He has £2000 to spend and has seen a local car in his favourite colour and perfect spec. It is within his budget and has full service history. It is in excellent condition. What car should I tell him to buy? I was thinking about suggesting a Jaguar E-type.

You should tell him to buy one of your boats. Or an MX5. Or a 200SX, which is what I bought for that sort of money when forced to buy a "sensible hatchback". Or, as he is entirely imaginary, tell him to spend the money on a time travelling sex castle.

crofty1984 said:

Any thoughts?

Squirrels. They have an easy life don't they? Also I'v got my nephew convinced that they are really called "squiggles", because of how they look if you try to draw one and you're only four.

[Changedmyname]

[quote=crofty1984]What car should I buy?

I want a 2-seater estate with 7 wheels and a sunroof that does 40mpg minimum and has a V8. I have £1000 to spend.

Is here such a car.....realy^^^^

[SooperDan]

Have you considered an MX-5?

[iva cosworth]

crofty1984 said:

What car should I buy?

I want a 7-seater estate with 2 wheels and a sunroof that does 80mpg minimum and has a V4. I have £1000 to spend.

Any thoughts?

There ,swapped a few numbers about to make much more sense

[mnkiboy]

Changedmyname said:

Crofty1984 said:

What car should I buy?

I want a 2-seater estate with 7 wheels and a sunroof that does 40mpg minimum and has a V8. I have £1000 to spend.

Is here such a car.....realy^^^^

A 2 seater estate? That's a van surely. With 4 wheels, spare wheel, flywheel and steering wheel that's 7 wheels. Sunroof, 40mpg and a V8. That sounds like a Maestro van. I can't quite remember the specs but i'm fairly sure they had a V8.

[Captain Muppet]

SooperDan said:

Have you considered an MX-5?

He had one already.

[rich01483]

Captain Muppet said:

crofty1984 said:

What car should I buy?

I want a 2-seater estate with 7 wheels and a sunroof that does 40mpg minimum and has a V8. I have £1000 to spend.

E34 540i Touring with the rear seats folded down and a couple of spare wheels in the boot. Then calculate mileage by estimating how far you can go "on a tankful" and get miles and kilometers mixed up, just like everyone on MX5OC seems to.

Although it won't fit in your parking space, but for the remainder of your budget I'll let you keep it at my house, which is only an hour away by bus.

crofty1984 said:

Also, my mate really wants to buy a Ford Focus. He has £2000 to spend and has seen a local car in his favourite colour and perfect spec. It is within his budget and has full service history. It is in excellent condition. What car should I tell him to buy? I was thinking about suggesting a Jaguar E-type.

You should tell him to buy one of your boats. Or an MX5. Or a 200SX, which is what I bought for that sort of money when forced to buy a "sensible hatchback". Or, as he is entirely imaginary, tell him to spend the money on a time travelling sex castle.

crofty1984 said:

Any thoughts?

Squirrels. They have an easy life don't they? Also I'v got my nephew convinced that they are really called "squiggles", because of how they look if you try to draw one and you're only four.

Classic response!!

[green911]

I have a 2 seater estate with 7 wheels for sale - I'm not sure that you would like it because the sunroof only does 35mpg

[paranoid airbag]

I just popped in to say:

had a jolly good time reading that

[crofty1984]

Captain Muppet said:

crofty1984 said:

What car should I buy?

I want a 2-seater estate with 7 wheels and a sunroof that does 40mpg minimum and has a V8. I have £1000 to spend.

E34 540i Touring with the rear seats folded down and a couple of spare wheels in the boot. Then calculate mileage by estimating how far you can go "on a tankful" and get miles and kilometers mixed up, just like everyone on MX5OC seems to.

Although it won't fit in your parking space, but for the remainder of your budget I'll let you keep it at my house, which is only an hour away by bus.

crofty1984 said:

Also, my mate really wants to buy a Ford Focus. He has £2000 to spend and has seen a local car in his favourite colour and perfect spec. It is within his budget and has full service history. It is in excellent condition. What car should I tell him to buy? I was thinking about suggesting a Jaguar E-type.

You should tell him to buy one of your boats. Or an MX5. Or a 200SX, which is what I bought for that sort of money when forced to buy a "sensible hatchback". Or, as he is entirely imaginary, tell him to spend the money on a time travelling sex castle.

crofty1984 said:

Any thoughts?

Squirrels. They have an easy life don't they? Also I'v got my nephew convinced that they are really called "squiggles", because of how they look if you try to draw one and you're only four.

I KNEW you wouldn't let me down, sir! Now I'm off to buy a 540. Do you know any sellers that will accept chocolate drops as payment? I sold my other car immediately upon reading your excellent response. The guy who bought it didn't have any money but said he'd pay in magic beans, well I saw through THAT little ruse, let me tell you! Magic beans, indeed!
So instead I've accepted payment in chocolate drops. I've got a bagful! Thing is, they look a lot like rabbit poo. Also, they taste funny. Now I come to think about it, I did wonder why he kept chocolate drops scattered round a field, rather than in the fridge.
Do you want some?

If I did have a time travelling sex castle I'd keep it far away from any woodland to keep the squirrels away. Smug bds.

[Captain Muppet]

crofty1984 said:

Captain Muppet said:

crofty1984 said:

What car should I buy?

I want a 2-seater estate with 7 wheels and a sunroof that does 40mpg minimum and has a V8. I have £1000 to spend.

E34 540i Touring with the rear seats folded down and a couple of spare wheels in the boot. Then calculate mileage by estimating how far you can go "on a tankful" and get miles and kilometers mixed up, just like everyone on MX5OC seems to.

Although it won't fit in your parking space, but for the remainder of your budget I'll let you keep it at my house, which is only an hour away by bus.

crofty1984 said:

Also, my mate really wants to buy a Ford Focus. He has £2000 to spend and has seen a local car in his favourite colour and perfect spec. It is within his budget and has full service history. It is in excellent condition. What car should I tell him to buy? I was thinking about suggesting a Jaguar E-type.

You should tell him to buy one of your boats. Or an MX5. Or a 200SX, which is what I bought for that sort of money when forced to buy a "sensible hatchback". Or, as he is entirely imaginary, tell him to spend the money on a time travelling sex castle.

crofty1984 said:

Any thoughts?

Squirrels. They have an easy life don't they? Also I'v got my nephew convinced that they are really called "squiggles", because of how they look if you try to draw one and you're only four.

I KNEW you wouldn't let me down, sir! Now I'm off to buy a 540. Do you know any sellers that will accept chocolate drops as payment? I sold my other car immediately upon reading your excellent response. The guy who bought it didn't have any money but said he'd pay in magic beans, well I saw through THAT little ruse, let me tell you! Magic beans, indeed!
So instead I've accepted payment in chocolate drops. I've got a bagful! Thing is, they look a lot like rabbit poo. Also, they taste funny. Now I come to think about it, I did wonder why he kept chocolate drops scattered round a field, rather than in the fridge.
Do you want some?

If I did have a time travelling sex castle I'd keep it far away from any woodland to keep the squirrels away. Smug bds.

There's your problem - you keep chocolate in the fridge. It's best served at body temperature, which gives you a huge array of comedy/disgusting serving suggestions. Also it means you can eat a yorkie without losing teeth.


not


Unless it's jaffa cakes in which case they are best served chilled (in my opinion, which is worth very little - I've met people who not only prefer them warm but also chocolate side down, the freaks).

Enjoy the 540 - the chap I bought my RX7 off of bought one and said it was amazingly frugal (true story).