evicting an abusive son
evicting an abusive son
Author
Discussion

Blackpuddin

Original Poster:

19,530 posts

236 months

Monday 30th April 2012
quotequote all
Friends of ours are going thru hell at the moment with their adult (early 20s) son who refuses to move out of the family home, causing lots of stress to both them (his parents) and younger siblings. Won't go into too much detail except to say the guy has a temper and has been physically abusive to both siblings and parents over a long period. Needless to say everything has been tried to help him and (when that wasn't accepted) to stop his abuse. It's recently escalated to police level. Everybody involved wants and needs him to move out but he is refusing to budge. Are there any legal avenues the parents can explore?

Justayellowbadge

37,057 posts

273 months

Monday 30th April 2012
quotequote all
Move and don't tell him.

crofty1984

17,064 posts

235 months

Monday 30th April 2012
quotequote all
I have no practical advice, but surely if he's in his 20's they have no legal requirement to house him? He's just a lodger that won't fk off.

Pixel Pusher

10,422 posts

190 months

Monday 30th April 2012
quotequote all
Blackpuddin said:
Are there any legal avenues the parents can explore?
Apply for a restraining order?

jimbo65

752 posts

229 months

Monday 30th April 2012
quotequote all
Jeremy Kyle?

Justayellowbadge

37,057 posts

273 months

Monday 30th April 2012
quotequote all
jimbo65 said:
Jeremy Kyle?
Nah, he's got to be mid 40s at least.

wormburner

34,419 posts

284 months

Monday 30th April 2012
quotequote all
crofty1984 said:
I have no practical advice, but surely if he's in his 20's they have no legal requirement to house him? He's just a lodger that won't fk off.
Surely this. Parental responsibilities in the strictest sense ended about 8 years ago. Just change the locks and be ready to call the police when he comes home and illustrates his disappointment on the begonias.

philthy

4,697 posts

271 months

Monday 30th April 2012
quotequote all
Change the locks, and when he breaks in, phone the police.
Let it go to court, and one of the conditions of his bail will be not to return to the premises. If he does,jail time.
Or, just MTFU and throw the little bd out by the scruff of the neck?

The police route is the easiest/quickest way, and a complete waste of their time and resources.

payner2008

269 posts

216 months

Monday 30th April 2012
quotequote all
Sounds like he needs a good slap to be honest.

Blackpuddin

Original Poster:

19,530 posts

236 months

Monday 30th April 2012
quotequote all
One small difficulty with the 'change the locks' strategy is that he never leaves the house. In fact he only leaves his room at night when the rest of the family is in bed, presumably to stock up on food. He has put a lock on the inside of his room door.
I understand that the police are sympathetic with the family's plight and would be willing to help within the usual legal constraints. Again the problem being that something illegal needs to be happening in order for them to intervene.
Could the parents give him a moving-out ultimatum, and give the police fair warning of that time also?

Edited by Blackpuddin on Monday 30th April 17:28

thinfourth2

32,414 posts

235 months

Monday 30th April 2012
quotequote all
Blackpuddin said:
One small difficulty with the 'change the locks' strategy is that he never leaves the house. In fact he only leaves his room at night when the rest of the family is in bed, presumably to stock up on food. He has put a lock on the inside of his room door.
Put a lock on the outside

Blackpuddin

Original Poster:

19,530 posts

236 months

Monday 30th April 2012
quotequote all
thinfourth2 said:
Put a lock on the outside
wouldn't that be false imprisonment?

payner2008

269 posts

216 months

Monday 30th April 2012
quotequote all
Blackpuddin said:
He has put a lock on the inside of his room door.
If this was happening in my house i would simply kick it through. Son or not, he does not have the right to start fixing locks all over the place.

He will have to live by the house owners rules and if he feels violence is the answer, have him arrested for assualt.

I know kicking the door in is extreme, but i think it may shock him enough to think differently.

rogerthefish

2,388 posts

262 months

Monday 30th April 2012
quotequote all
Blackpuddin said:
One small difficulty with the 'change the locks' strategy is that he never leaves the house. In fact he only leaves his room at night when the rest of the family is in bed, presumably to stock up on food. He has put a lock on the inside of his room door.
idea What about when he signs on

Blackpuddin

Original Poster:

19,530 posts

236 months

Monday 30th April 2012
quotequote all
payner2008 said:
If this was happening in my house i would simply kick it through. Son or not, he does not have the right to start fixing locks all over the place.

He will have to live by the house owners rules and if he feels violence is the answer, have him arrested for assualt.

I know kicking the door in is extreme, but i think it may shock him enough to think differently.
Sadly I suspect that it would also catalyse a destructive rampage.

4keymonsta

12,137 posts

179 months

Monday 30th April 2012
quotequote all
I can't see a way that this could end without damage. If they are going to get the police involved anyway then they may aswell get them around now and say that he has already broken in and locked himself in that room. They will kick the door down drag him away and arrest him.

Blackpuddin

Original Poster:

19,530 posts

236 months

Monday 30th April 2012
quotequote all
rogerthefish said:
Blackpuddin said:
One small difficulty with the 'change the locks' strategy is that he never leaves the house. In fact he only leaves his room at night when the rest of the family is in bed, presumably to stock up on food. He has put a lock on the inside of his room door.
idea What about when he signs on
Doesn't sign on. Literally stays in the house and takes what he needs.

payner2008

269 posts

216 months

Monday 30th April 2012
quotequote all
Blackpuddin said:
Sadly I suspect that it would also catalyse a destructive rampage.
Then the police should be present for the 'eviction'. All they have to say is that he's not welcome and is technically trespassing.

He will just get nicked and wont have chance to smash his family's stuff up.



Blackpuddin

Original Poster:

19,530 posts

236 months

Monday 30th April 2012
quotequote all
4keymonsta said:
I can't see a way that this could end without damage. If they are going to get the police involved anyway then they may aswell get them around now and say that he has already broken in and locked himself in that room. They will kick the door down drag him away and arrest him.
I suspect this may be the only answer too. The parents don't want to have him arrested, who would want that to happen to their own son, but they are in an impossible situation. The bod in question is incredibly intelligent and could easily obtain employment but chooses to live an entirely virtual lifestyle.

CBR JGWRR

6,585 posts

180 months

Monday 30th April 2012
quotequote all
Blackpuddin said:
rogerthefish said:
Blackpuddin said:
One small difficulty with the 'change the locks' strategy is that he never leaves the house. In fact he only leaves his room at night when the rest of the family is in bed, presumably to stock up on food. He has put a lock on the inside of his room door.
idea What about when he signs on
Doesn't sign on. Literally stays in the house and takes what he needs.
Take everything out of the house.

Eventually, he will have to go out or starve.

When he goes out, rush back in, change locks, fix damage, fortify windows and doors.

Call police if/when necessary.