Cocaine for bread in Essex?
Discussion
Having recently relocated to the delightful county of Essex, where the women are but walking pillars of fake tan and make up, and the accent is only marginally more bareable than getting your wedding vegetables caught in an electronic whisk, I go to the local supermarket to purchase the basics. Imagine my horror upon arriving at the bread isle to find not a single loaf of Braces. "Must not be sold at this supermarket" I thought. So I venture to the next, and then the next. Having visited all the big name supermarkets and various other independent establishments, I still find myself absent of said homely comfort. So as its replacement I am forced to purchase bread from Hovis and other such bakers. My mornings consist of slice after slice of disappointment and I can only ask myself.... why? Has Mr Braces got a personal vendetta against the place? Is he offended by the unfortunate amalgamation of letters that is 'Reem'? Is there a general discriminatory attitude that the 'Reems' have against the Welsh and their bread that I am unaware of? Does the bread only exist on a hidden welsh black market, slipping slices of bread across the bristol channel in exchange for sexual acts and various class A drugs? However much I love Braces I don't quite think I'm willing to get involved in drugs, and I can't see there being much market for my body on the Essex sex market.
So to the point of my post, is there any way I can obtain a loaf of braces in this place whilst keeping things 'above the table'?
So to the point of my post, is there any way I can obtain a loaf of braces in this place whilst keeping things 'above the table'?
Taras said:
Having recently relocated to the delightful county of Essex, where the women are but walking pillars of fake tan and make up, and the accent is only marginally more bareable than getting your wedding vegetables caught in an electronic whisk, I go to the local supermarket to purchase the basics. Imagine my horror upon arriving at the bread isle to find not a single loaf of Braces. "Must not be sold at this supermarket" I thought. So I venture to the next, and then the next. Having visited all the big name supermarkets and various other independent establishments, I still find myself absent of said homely comfort. So as its replacement I am forced to purchase bread from Hovis and other such bakers. My mornings consist of slice after slice of disappointment and I can only ask myself.... why? Has Mr Braces got a personal vendetta against the place? Is he offended by the unfortunate amalgamation of letters that is 'Reem'? Is there a general discriminatory attitude that the 'Reems' have against the Welsh and their bread that I am unaware of? Does the bread only exist on a hidden welsh black market, slipping slices of bread across the bristol channel in exchange for sexual acts and various class A drugs? However much I love Braces I don't quite think I'm willing to get involved in drugs, and I can't see there being much market for my body on the Essex sex market.
So to the point of my post, is there any way I can obtain a loaf of braces in this place whilst keeping things 'above the table'?
p.s. Have you ever watched 'Lipstick on My Collar'? I think you would like it in a tongue in cheek way :-)So to the point of my post, is there any way I can obtain a loaf of braces in this place whilst keeping things 'above the table'?
t bread... Poor sod. 
Isaac13th said:
If I'd known this I'd never had moved here and saved 12 months of mine! 
And their website links to this, so it's not all bad:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PJcrOyhmeTc&fea...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PJcrOyhmeTc&fea...
CYMR0 said:
And their website links to this, so it's not all bad:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PJcrOyhmeTc&fea...
Standard Braces delivery driver!http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PJcrOyhmeTc&fea...
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