There's a lady in my trunk

[Richard92c2]

Plod pulls a chap over for speeding ...

Officer: May I see your licence please

Diver: I don't have one, it was suspended when I got done for DUI for the fifth time.

Officer: Can I see the registration for the vehicle please?

Driver: Oh, it not my car, I stole it

Officer: This car is stolen??

Driver: Oh yeah, But hold on a sec, I saw some registration papers in the glove compartment when I put my gun in there

Officer: You have a gun in there??

Driver: Yes, I had to use it to shoot the woman who's car this is, she's in the trunk

The officer tells the man to hold on, backs off real slow and radio's HQ, in a couple of minutes the street is swarming with BiB ... The Chief Inspector approches cautiously ..

Chief: Can I see your licence please?

Driver: Sure, here it is

Chief: Looks in order to me ..Who's car is this?

Driver: Its mine sir, here's the registration papers

Chief: Could you please open the glove compartment sir? I believe you have a gun in there.

Driver: Sure, but there is no gun in there sir!

The driver opens the glove compartment and sure enough, there is no gun ...

Chief: Would you mind if I took a look in the trunk please sir, I was led to believe that there is a body in there.

Driver: No problem sir!

The driver opens the trunk and sure enough, its empty, other than a spare and jack.

Chief: The officer who stopped you said that you told him that you never had a licence, you had stolen this car, and that you had a gun which you had used to shoot a lady owner of the car!

Driver: Oh yeah, I suppose he told you I was speeding too.....

[D-Angle]

[blademan]

Good one

[Pigeon]

Reminds me of a time when I was a kid, mum, dad, grandad and I went to buy some chipboard. It was a long load, so we came back with the rear seats folded down, the chipboard sticking out the back and me and my grandad on top of the chipboard, me squatting, grandad lying down.

We were followed home and up the drive by a rather young copper who thought we had a dead body in the back - my grandad - who got up and started walking around while we all cracked up.