How do you deal with a crash prone spouse?
Discussion
Over the last three years my wife has had three none fault and one minor fault accident.
Every case has a plausible explanation, but I can't help thinking that there is something about her driving that results in these problems. Does this come under defensive driving or similar?
Any help would be appreciated as worried about a big one happening.
Every case has a plausible explanation, but I can't help thinking that there is something about her driving that results in these problems. Does this come under defensive driving or similar?
Any help would be appreciated as worried about a big one happening.
EsGrau1994 said:
... defensive driving
We did defensive driver training at work, and, at least the way we were taught it by ex-Police driver trainers the name is a bit of a misnoma - it's actually quite a positive way of driving that is more about bold positioning etc. Some of the older "steady as you go" drivers didn't like it all - they found it too forceful.Does she drive a lot? Short distances in heavy traffic or places where dings are common? By this I mean supermarket car parks, shopping centres etc.
It might be worth getting her to look at her observation in these situations, i.e. watching what others are doing and pre-empting situations where someone might reverse into her or pull out in front of her. I tend to drive pretty defensively and always try to assume that someone else is going to do something stupid.
Accidents do happen unfortunately - a few years ago I was rear-ended twice in under a year and then had a van reverse into me. Obviously, the first two I couldn't do anything about but in the case of the van I drove up behind him as he pulled into a car park and didn't consider that he might be going to reverse to a loading bay behind me without looking.
It might be worth getting her to look at her observation in these situations, i.e. watching what others are doing and pre-empting situations where someone might reverse into her or pull out in front of her. I tend to drive pretty defensively and always try to assume that someone else is going to do something stupid.
Accidents do happen unfortunately - a few years ago I was rear-ended twice in under a year and then had a van reverse into me. Obviously, the first two I couldn't do anything about but in the case of the van I drove up behind him as he pulled into a car park and didn't consider that he might be going to reverse to a loading bay behind me without looking.
IAM Drivecheck? Or perhaps just contact a local IAM/ROSPA group for a short observed drive and some feedback from an independent source? The hardest part will be convincing your spouse to do it. Quite a lot of people react very badly to having their driving criticised, so you don't want to be the person giving the [bad] news.
Probably a lack of attention, she more than likely drives in a blissful bubble of ignorance to what is going on around her, only takes someone making an aggressive move that she doesn't see and if they hit her, they will more than likely be considered at fault as they were the one making the move past or around her. While not "at fault", these kind of drivers are still a factor in their accidents simply because despite the other party being in the wrong, they did not see the accident coming or do anything to prevent it.
Slightly different, but my wife had a Punto (first shape) and now has a Jazz. Which she drives as if it is the width of the Punto 
. The last one was a shave along the nearside rear wing and trailing edge of door on a concrete pillar in an underground car park; there are chunks out of the paint on all four corners; the bumpers both have one end hanging loose in the breeze, and it goes on 
. All on a 6 year old car.
She'd stuffed the front end of the offside sill on a low wall in a car park before the car was 2 years old; but that wasn't her fault because her way was blocked by a parked car and the wall shouldn't have been there
. That was repaired when the car was in the bodyshop following a low speed fault accident on ice.
She doesn't look past the end of the bonnet, and doesn't plan ahead - this is clear. She also denies the issue, and sees any comments as personal criticism .
I'd be extremely diplomatic if suggesting any sort of driver training. I got the cold shoulder for, ooh, about a week on the one occasion I suggested that she should be getting some sort of "driver training" from her work (NHS, transporting clients about in a car), and so it might be beneficial if she took the initiative because her work don't apparently give a damn...
Tread carefully!
Oh, and I worry about her every time she goes out in the car .
. The last one was a shave along the nearside rear wing and trailing edge of door on a concrete pillar in an underground car park; there are chunks out of the paint on all four corners; the bumpers both have one end hanging loose in the breeze, and it goes on . All on a 6 year old car. She'd stuffed the front end of the offside sill on a low wall in a car park before the car was 2 years old; but that wasn't her fault because her way was blocked by a parked car and the wall shouldn't have been there
. That was repaired when the car was in the bodyshop following a low speed fault accident on ice.She doesn't look past the end of the bonnet, and doesn't plan ahead - this is clear. She also denies the issue, and sees any comments as personal criticism
.I'd be extremely diplomatic if suggesting any sort of driver training. I got the cold shoulder for, ooh, about a week on the one occasion I suggested that she should be getting some sort of "driver training" from her work (NHS, transporting clients about in a car), and so it might be beneficial if she took the initiative because her work don't apparently give a damn...
Tread carefully!
Oh, and I worry about her every time she goes out in the car
.Silver said:
... a few years ago I was rear-ended twice in under a year and then had a van reverse into me. Obviously, the first two I couldn't do anything about...
Obviously if you're been stopped for a while and someone just ploughs into you the there's not much you can do but some people do drive in an erratic way that invites being rear-ended. Deva Link said:
Silver said:
... a few years ago I was rear-ended twice in under a year and then had a van reverse into me. Obviously, the first two I couldn't do anything about...
Obviously if you're been stopped for a while and someone just ploughs into you the there's not much you can do but some people do drive in an erratic way that invites being rear-ended. Deva Link said:
Silver said:
No, both times I was stationary at junctions and got hit by drivers who 'hadn't realised I was stopped'.
If you were holding the car on its handbrake did you put your foot on the brake pedal as they approached? Just remembered that an ex was an absolutely terrible driver, no planing and always late on the brakes. Turned out that she had bad eyesight, never realised and just thought that was what the world looked like. Once she got some glasses though we broke up, so dont try to fix her if youre not much of a looker.
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