Panama hat on parcel shelf = slow driver

[mattberkshire]

Saw a Jag S-type today with a Panama hat on the parcel shelf and was stuck behind it for a while at about 45mph. Whilst dribbling along on the A4 it made me think of all those signs that give away a drivers inherent lack of speed. Box of tissues in the rear window, fish symbol etc. So I put this together:



Let me know what you think. Are there any more sure fire signs that the driver is sloooooow

Matt

ETA

Please stop plugging your website.

Edited by Big Al. on Saturday 25th August 13:03

[Geekman]

Those "the closer you get the slower I go" stickers which ironically require the car behind to drive too close so that they can read them......

[Spitfire2]

Fail. Sorry.

And no I couldn't do better

[tbc]

the blanket on the back window or a box of tissues on the parcel shelf usually indicate a toddling coffin dodger

[mattberkshire]

Blanket. Yes. Folded tartan blanket. Just in case an emergency picnic by the A1(M) is required.

[deadslow]

mattberkshire said:

Saw a Jag S-type today with a Panama hat on the parcel shelf and was stuck behind it for a while at about 45mph. Whilst dribbling along on the A4 it made me think of all those signs that give away a drivers inherent lack of speed. Box of tissues in the rear window, fish symbol etc. So I put this together:

http://www.speedmonkey.co.uk/2012/08/new-driving-s...

Let me know what you think. Are there any more sure fire signs that the driver is sloooooow

Matt

probably make it funny or don't bother.

[mattberkshire]

deadslow said:

probably make it funny or don't bother.

I would refer you to this http://sniffpetrol.com/2012/08/23/asktotalprickfro...

[deadslow]

mattberkshire said:

deadslow said:

probably make it funny or don't bother.

I would refer you to this http://sniffpetrol.com/2012/08/23/asktotalprickfro...

Sorry pal, you asked for people's opinions. I gave mine.

[EDLT]

mattberkshire said:

deadslow said:

probably make it funny or don't bother.

I would refer you to this http://sniffpetrol.com/2012/08/23/asktotalprickfro...

Own a Peugeot, Clarkson constantly says "Always beware of Peugeots"

Own a Honda Civic Type-S, the car of choice for a total prick from a forum.

FML.

[j44esd]

Depends, I keep a panama on my back shelf. Have done for a long time. Mainly to make people think I'm going to drive slowly, partly because it never suits the car its in.

Maybe you were following someone with a bad sense of humour like me?

Ps. Also because a panama is cool. HTH

[Ecurie Ecosse]

j44esd said:

Depends, I keep a panama on my back shelf. Have done for a long time. Mainly to make people think I'm going to drive slowly, partly because it never suits the car its in.

Maybe you were following someone with a bad sense of humour like me?

Ps. Also because a panama is cool. HTH

My friend and I do this too, kind of been there since the Le Mans Classic.

John Milton: Don't get too cocky my boy. No matter how good you are don't ever let them see you coming. That's the gaffe my friend. You gotta keep yourself small. Innocuous. Be the little guy. You know, the nerd... the leper... st-kickin' surfer. Look at me.
[stops and pauses]
John Milton: Underestimated from day one. You'd never think I was a master of the universe, now would ya?

[Pints]

This thread makes me want a Panama Hat.

Or a fedora.

[Riley Blue]

When I take my panama hat for a drive, it's on the back seat (lowers the centre of gravity) and the folding chairs and picnic hamper go in the boot (more weight over the driven wheels).

[172ff]

I had one on my parcel shelf for years until someone told me it was the sign of a swinger.

Removed the pampas grass from the front garden at the same time!

[Landyphil]

Don't forget the ornamental Butterfly's on the house wall as well.

Our first house when we bought it had a massive clump of Pampas, butterflies on the wall and the biggest set of mirrors in the bedroom I've ever seen.

We quietly removed them but it did make me think there must be a hell of a lot of swingers in Cheshire.

[Earl'Dingleberry]

What about cute stuffed platypus on the parcel shelf = ?

[MagicalTrevor]

I'd like to point out that the use of 'slow lane' and 'fast lane' just perpetuates the MLM attitude of 'I'm not travelling as SLOW as lorries, nor am I travelling FAST so clearly the middle lane is the one for me'.

Sorry OP, just grinds my gears!

[Garvin]

Earl'Dingleberry said:

What about cute stuffed platypus on the parcel shelf = ?

Stuffed platypus by gum, never seen one of those .............. whatever happend to those nodding dogs, surely they must be a sign of the lethargic driver.

Furry dice hanging from rear view mirror - sign of someone who would like to drive fast, probably thinks they do ............. but doesn't!

What about the 'my other car is a Porsche/Ferrari/Lamborghini' sticker on the bumper?

[Megaflow]

In my experience, anything on the parcel shelf is a sign of a driver to avoid, this can including the follow:

• Hats
• Tissues
• Rugs
• Cushions

The first three I can understand why you might want them in a car, the parcel shelf is stilla daft place to keep them, but I can understand why you might have them. The last one though has always escaped me...

[ShampooEfficient]

Your pop-out menu wotsit on the side is in the way of my scroll bar. Displeasing.