The Germanic Diesel Racing Club - Wanna Race?

[Butter Face]

You are a photocopier salesman, between jobs you cruise the motorways and A-Roads of Great Britain racking up thousands of miles a year.

Your weapon of choice must be man enough to meet the demands of Germanic Diesel Racing Club. The daily battle against the other reps and salespeople for control of the outside (or 'fast' if you're so inclined) lane.

Your battle will not be an easy one, your chariot must meet many criteria to stack up against the compettion. If you do not measure up, you will forever be an outcast on the 'caravan lane' and be forced to park at the other end of the car park at high power business meetings.

The Rules of The Germanic Diesel Racing Club are as follows.

1. Your stallion must be German

2. Your weapon of choice must be Diesel and be between 1.6 and 3.0 Litres (1.4 diesels need not apply)

3. Your car must be available in one of the following: Saloon, Coupe, Tourer. You may, if you please, choose a Hatchback (You mug). NO Convertibles (Fleet manager says they're too flash)

4. You need to consider fuel economy, Your fuel card is limited to £141.75pw and you need to cover 900 miles pw (derv is £6.30 per gallon) You may use 'combined' economy figures to work this out.

5. Your car must be either: Silver, Black, Grey or White (no extroverts with reds and blues)

6. You have a top budget of £30,000.


How to win at Germanic Diesel Racing Club

Your car will be scored on the following:

Fuel Economy - 10 Points for every 1MPG over 40
Powaaahh 100BHP Minimum Entry - 10 Points for every +10bhp
Street Cred on a scale of 1-100
Desirability on a scale of 1-100
Options (Germanic Diesel Racing Club drivers love Options) 5 Point per 'option' ticked
Amount of fuel left each week (which can be used for track days in your V8 Atom weekend racer) 1 Point per £1 left.
Wheel size 16 Inch Minimum entry, 10 points per inch over 16's.

Please post your entry with the following template:

Make and Model:
Colour:
Engine and Power:
Combined Fuel Economy:
Options ticked
Value of left over fuel:
Wheel Size:
Total Cost:

I'll make the call on the Street Cred and Desirability.

Winner gets the smug satisfaction of knowing they OWN the outside lane and that everyone else is a boring waste of time with a crap job and dodgy business cards.

Edited by Butter Face on Saturday 25th August 21:26

[Caulkhead]

Butter Face said:

2. Your weapon of choice must be Diesel and be between 1.6 and 3.0 Litres (Mapped 335d's and 1.4 diesels need not apply)

Why no mapped 335d - they're between 1.6 and 3.0 litres?

[Zwolf]

FAIL for not taking into account that a 335d (mapped or otherwise) does indeed have a 3.0 engine. As do the recent crop of *40d models.

I'll take a three to four year old 640d Gran Coupé or a similarly aged ALPINA D5 please.

[Butter Face]

Zwolf said:

FAIL for not taking into account that a 335d (mapped or otherwise) does indeed have a 3.0 engine. As do the recent crop of *40d models.

Look. I don't make the rules





Ok I do. But I didn't know that. I'm not a BMW man.

You racing or what?

[Zwolf]

Point 4, you could also have just said it must be capable of an average of 40mpg.

I'll take this if I may: http://www.autotrader.co.uk/classified/advert/2012...





Make and Model: BMW 730d M Sport
Colour: Metallic Black
Engine and Power: 3.0 turbo-diesel inline six cylinder, 245 bhp & 398 lb ft. 145 points.
Combined Fuel Economy: 41.5 mpg 15 points.
Options ticked: 20'' Double-spoke style 303 M alloy wheel, Bootlid operation: powered, Comfort Access, DAB digital radio, Fine-wood trim ash grain anthracite, Heated front seats, Service Inc until 02/2015 or 60, 000miles, Soft-close doors, Sun protection glass, USB audio interface. 50 points.
Value of left over fuel: £5.13 per week 5 points.
Wheel Size: 20 inches. 40 points.
Total Cost: £29,950

255 points.

Edited by Zwolf on Saturday 25th August 21:36

[Butter Face]

Zwolf said:

Point 4, you could also have just said it must be capable of an average of 40mpg.

But this is PH. To enter you must be able to work out basic calculations

[Zwolf]

Or, with a bit of a haggle, this 740d M Sport.

As above, but add another 61 points for power and subtract 6 for a lower mpg figure and another few for a few £ per week more fuel.

[redtwin]

Are modifications allowed?.

I am thinking a 2.0 diesel with a remap, Nitrous and 22" wheels could be a strong contender.

[Zwolf]

This could work well too: http://www.autotrader.co.uk/classified/advert/2012...

2011 ALPINA D3 Bi-Turbo, £24,995.






2.0 litres, two turbos, 46.3 mpg, 214 bhp & 332 lb ft. 6.7 secs & 152 mph. Only 85 of them built for the UK market in the Touring bodystyle.

Really should have reversed the script on the front spoiler la 2002 turbo.

Edited by Zwolf on Saturday 25th August 23:42

[Justayellowbadge]

Butter Face said:

You are a photocopier salesman, between jobs you cruise the motorways and A-Roads of Great Britain racking up thousands of miles a year.

Your weapon of choice must be man enough to meet the demands of Germanic Diesel Racing Club. The daily battle against the other reps and salespeople for control of the outside (or 'fast' if you're so inclined) lane.

Your battle will not be an easy one, your chariot must meet many criteria to stack up against the compettion. If you do not measure up, you will forever be an outcast on the 'caravan lane' and be forced to park at the other end of the car park at high power business meetings.

The Rules of The Germanic Diesel Racing Club are as follows.

1. Your stallion must be German

2. Your weapon of choice must be Diesel and be between 1.6 and 3.0 Litres (1.4 diesels need not apply)

3. Your car must be available in one of the following: Saloon, Coupe, Tourer. You may, if you please, choose a Hatchback (You mug). NO Convertibles (Fleet manager says they're too flash)

4. You need to consider fuel economy, Your fuel card is limited to £141.75pw and you need to cover 900 miles pw (derv is £6.30 per gallon) You may use 'combined' economy figures to work this out.

5. Your car must be either: Silver, Black, Grey or White (no extroverts with reds and blues)

6. You have a top budget of £30,000.


How to win at Germanic Diesel Racing Club

Your car will be scored on the following:

Fuel Economy - 10 Points for every 1MPG over 40
Powaaahh 100BHP Minimum Entry - 10 Points for every +10bhp
Street Cred on a scale of 1-100
Desirability on a scale of 1-100
Options (Germanic Diesel Racing Club drivers love Options) 5 Point per 'option' ticked
Amount of fuel left each week (which can be used for track days in your V8 Atom weekend racer) 1 Point per £1 left.
Wheel size 16 Inch Minimum entry, 10 points per inch over 16's.

Please post your entry with the following template:

Make and Model:
Colour:
Engine and Power:
Combined Fuel Economy:
Options ticked
Value of left over fuel:
Wheel Size:
Total Cost:

I'll make the call on the Street Cred and Desirability.

Winner gets the smug satisfaction of knowing they OWN the outside lane and that everyone else is a boring waste of time with a crap job and dodgy business cards.

Edited by Butter Face on Saturday 25th August 21:26

You will die a lonely virgin.

[LHD]

Justayellowbadge said:

Butter Face said:

You are a photocopier salesman, between jobs you cruise the motorways and A-Roads of Great Britain racking up thousands of miles a year.

Your weapon of choice must be man enough to meet the demands of Germanic Diesel Racing Club. The daily battle against the other reps and salespeople for control of the outside (or 'fast' if you're so inclined) lane.

Your battle will not be an easy one, your chariot must meet many criteria to stack up against the compettion. If you do not measure up, you will forever be an outcast on the 'caravan lane' and be forced to park at the other end of the car park at high power business meetings.

The Rules of The Germanic Diesel Racing Club are as follows.

1. Your stallion must be German

2. Your weapon of choice must be Diesel and be between 1.6 and 3.0 Litres (1.4 diesels need not apply)

3. Your car must be available in one of the following: Saloon, Coupe, Tourer. You may, if you please, choose a Hatchback (You mug). NO Convertibles (Fleet manager says they're too flash)

4. You need to consider fuel economy, Your fuel card is limited to £141.75pw and you need to cover 900 miles pw (derv is £6.30 per gallon) You may use 'combined' economy figures to work this out.

5. Your car must be either: Silver, Black, Grey or White (no extroverts with reds and blues)

6. You have a top budget of £30,000.


How to win at Germanic Diesel Racing Club

Your car will be scored on the following:

Fuel Economy - 10 Points for every 1MPG over 40
Powaaahh 100BHP Minimum Entry - 10 Points for every +10bhp
Street Cred on a scale of 1-100
Desirability on a scale of 1-100
Options (Germanic Diesel Racing Club drivers love Options) 5 Point per 'option' ticked
Amount of fuel left each week (which can be used for track days in your V8 Atom weekend racer) 1 Point per £1 left.
Wheel size 16 Inch Minimum entry, 10 points per inch over 16's.

Please post your entry with the following template:

Make and Model:
Colour:
Engine and Power:
Combined Fuel Economy:
Options ticked
Value of left over fuel:
Wheel Size:
Total Cost:

I'll make the call on the Street Cred and Desirability.

Winner gets the smug satisfaction of knowing they OWN the outside lane and that everyone else is a boring waste of time with a crap job and dodgy business cards.

Edited by Butter Face on Saturday 25th August 21:26

You will die a lonely virgin.

[Butter Face]

Mmmm'kay.

Not playing then?

[80quattro]

One of my cars is a pov spec 320d ES saloon in Grey. Whilst it qualifies, I won't get many points. Put me in last place. Bonus for working in sales though?

[V88Dicky]

I'd rather eat hot dogst.

fk you lot, you dirty, cancer causing s.

[cheadle hulme]

My Diesel Coupe has 180hp and does 46mpg.
Unfortunately its French, so I cannot join your club.
(unless you invade me and promise not to destroy historic buildings)

[Glosphil]

"Amount of fuel left each week (which can be used for track days in your V8 Atom weekend racer."

How many points do I lose if I actually put diesel fuel into the Atom! :-)

[davepoth]

http://www.pistonheads.com/sales/3919372.htm

VW Phaeton 3.0 TDi 4 Motion.

Fuel Economy - 33.2 combined so -70
Powaaahh 100BHP Minimum Entry - 224hp so +124
Street Cred on a scale of 1-100 - I'd give a 50
Desirability on a scale of 1-100 - Again a 50
Options (Germanic Diesel Racing Club drivers love Options) 5 Point per 'option' ticked - 19.

SAT-NAV, KEYLESS ENTRY and GO, 18 way Electrically adjustable Massage Comfort seats with Heating and Cool Air Ventilation, Lumbar function and Memory, Power Open and Close Boot lid, Heated Rear seats, Paddle shift gear change function, Front and Rear Park assist, Auto Bi-XENON active Headlights, Electric Rear Blind, Rear Door Blinds (built-in) Fully adjustable air suspension, Electric Memory Steering column, Upgraded Eucalyptus wood trim, 19" Sport alloys, auto Dimming Power folding Heated door Mirrors, Cruise control, Upgraded Sound package with CD changer, Double Glazing, Coming Home and Leaving lighting function.

Amount of fuel left each week (which can be used for track days in your V8 Atom weekend racer) 1 Point per £1 left. Minus 5 litres left so -5
Wheel size 16 Inch Minimum entry, 10 points per inch over 16's. Rolling on 19s so 30 points.

Total 274 points.

[Zwolf]

Good point. A Phaeton V10 TDi should surely be king.

[JREwing]

Zwolf said:

Good point. A Phaeton V10 TDi should surely be king.

Engine over 3.0 litres.....

[calibrax]

No points for cost under £30k?