If I ran the world, Crisps would be banned from public areas
Discussion
Yeah it’s my problem, I know that lots of people eat and enjoy crisps, but why do they have to do it at work. Or if they do, why can’t they eat with some kind of decorum.
It starts with the opening of the bag, Crinkle crinkle crunch, and then the real fun starts. The selection of which crisp to eat first. Nothing is done delicately! oh no no no! Why would you tip the crisps towards the open end of the bag and pick one out with your fingers when you can stuff your fist in into the bag and rummage about until a crisp lands in your greasy mitts.
What really gets me is the noise in my office of people mashing crisps into their mouths. That is what boils my piss. I’m not sure what bothers me more, the initial crunching or the change in pitch as these mouth breathers masticate the greasy fried potato while breathing and changing the size of their inbread mouths as they chew and crunch while cramming more crisps in there.
Then someone asks them a question, so in a hurry they try and finish what they are eating, lick their fingers, and try and answer at the same time. Largely, this results in the eater spraying whatever is left in their mouth in the general direction of whom they are talking to.
Finally, as if all this isn’t annoying, or distracting enough, the empty packet gets crunched up and left in a bin, where it slowly crinkles to unfold, mocking anyone trying to concentrate on something else.
Crisps and open plan offices. If I ran the world, crisps would be banned from being consumed outside of the home.
It starts with the opening of the bag, Crinkle crinkle crunch, and then the real fun starts. The selection of which crisp to eat first. Nothing is done delicately! oh no no no! Why would you tip the crisps towards the open end of the bag and pick one out with your fingers when you can stuff your fist in into the bag and rummage about until a crisp lands in your greasy mitts.
What really gets me is the noise in my office of people mashing crisps into their mouths. That is what boils my piss. I’m not sure what bothers me more, the initial crunching or the change in pitch as these mouth breathers masticate the greasy fried potato while breathing and changing the size of their inbread mouths as they chew and crunch while cramming more crisps in there.
Then someone asks them a question, so in a hurry they try and finish what they are eating, lick their fingers, and try and answer at the same time. Largely, this results in the eater spraying whatever is left in their mouth in the general direction of whom they are talking to.
Finally, as if all this isn’t annoying, or distracting enough, the empty packet gets crunched up and left in a bin, where it slowly crinkles to unfold, mocking anyone trying to concentrate on something else.
Crisps and open plan offices. If I ran the world, crisps would be banned from being consumed outside of the home.
Flat6er said:
Crisps and open plan offices. If I ran the world, crisps would be banned from being consumed outside of the home.
Amen to that. Hell, even extend it to inside the home. You should only be able to eat crisps in private. There's nothing worse than being forced to listen to someone eat like an animal.Well, there is really but you know what I mean.
Flat6er said:
stuff...
I’m not sure what bothers me more, the initial crunching or the change in pitch as these mouth breathers masticate the greasy fried potato while breathing and changing the size of their inbread mouths as they chew and crunch while cramming more crisps in there... more stuff.
Are these crisp sandwiches? Another whole rant there no doubt! I’m not sure what bothers me more, the initial crunching or the change in pitch as these mouth breathers masticate the greasy fried potato while breathing and changing the size of their inbread mouths as they chew and crunch while cramming more crisps in there... more stuff.
Piersman2 said:
Flat6er said:
stuff...
I’m not sure what bothers me more, the initial crunching or the change in pitch as these mouth breathers masticate the greasy fried potato while breathing and changing the size of their inbread mouths as they chew and crunch while cramming more crisps in there... more stuff.
Are these crisp sandwiches? Another whole rant there no doubt! I’m not sure what bothers me more, the initial crunching or the change in pitch as these mouth breathers masticate the greasy fried potato while breathing and changing the size of their inbread mouths as they chew and crunch while cramming more crisps in there... more stuff.
V6Paul said:
Sod you all, I've pre-warned my coworkers in the immediate vicinity and now I'm about to crack into a packet of Walkers finest baked ready salted (extra crunchy goodness).
They've released a new range of extra ridged crisps. I tried a packet last night (making sure to make the loudest crunching I possibly could so everyone in could hear me). Very nice, very satisfying!
Dalto123 said:
You have a good point and I agree with you. But, there was no swearing so a 0/10 from me
Well I was (Q)wavering over a full bore swearathon, but decided that it didn't need a bunch of inapropriate additions that would detract from my Real (McCoy) feelings on the subject. All joking aside, why does a rant need swearing?
and those that are contemplating eating crisp sandwiches at work are heathens.
Flat6er said:
Well I was (Q)wavering over a full bore swearathon, but decided that it didn't need a bunch of inapropriate additions that would detract from my Real (McCoy) feelings on the subject.
All joking aside, why does a rant need swearing?
and those that are contemplating eating crisp sandwiches at work are heathens.
I give it ten minutes before this whole thread Frazzles out. All joking aside, why does a rant need swearing?
and those that are contemplating eating crisp sandwiches at work are heathens.
R.
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