Discussion
Sorry for new login, I can't post under mine as too many people know about it.
I am a member, I've been on for years. Please take this as proof: Custard, MX-5, 335d mapped, Petrol Ted,Photoshop Wheelie Girl, Nazi Bunker, All hail the glorius JAYB, Chassis was a troll with his Uncle Ali a few years ago with the Ferrari Punto. I am a car enthusiast: Gudgeon Pin, Crankshaft, Double wishbones, TVR (Trevor) Wedge, Bentleys at Le Mans in the twenties, Mini introduced in 1959, Land Rover introduced by Rover in 1948.
I think I have a problem:
I think I might have Aspergers which is affecting me too much in day to day life. I was bullied/ picked on at school from the age of 6 more or less every year until I left just over a year ago. I have quite specific interests mostly fitting into what you might expect for someone with the condition. I have never had many friends and although I can operate well in social situations, I always need to escape as I really struggle after a short period of time. I got on extremely well with a close family member but have been suffering TBH since I lost him a couple of years ago.
I can do normal things like go to shop but sometimes have to get out quite quickly if it's busy in a supermarket and if I go to the shops on my own I have to be on a mission to do something.
I hated school like nothing else - the other pupils mostly, but also the teachers and the way it was structured. I was always on my own/ last to be picked for a group activity and only had one real friend, some other I would talk to in a lesson occasionaly and a friend I gained in the second to last year.
I do have the occasional outburst as frustration gets the better of me, but these are 95% at home - I clamp down on myself when outside the home. I know things that others in a situation haven't grasped but can't explain it to them or worse, they won't let me. I can be 'sociably awkward'.
I left school at the summer before I turned 16 (Just over a year ago) to pursue something I enjoy but to be honest it hasn't worked out. I can't deal very well with people my own age for long periods if it's the same people. So in the apprenticeship I've worked with others but they don't like working with me - I'm not rude IMO and I don't say nasty things to them and I rarely say things they're not interested in at all, I don't recite a load of obscure facts to them. They have explained that I'm just not good at working with others. I feel this is picked up too much - wherever I work with people new (within the organisation) I'm not liked by the younger peol;e (under 25). I don't particulalry like owrking with them either.
Having to fullfill criteria is getting the better of me - I'm struggling to hack it, and I have a huge issue interpreting people verbally - I use my mum a lot for this. Due to a problem recently (an unfortunate outside influence) I've had time to consider all of this and I think I'm going to need a job where I don't work with others and am not really part of a closely knitted team unless it's for simple tasks or in an area I am obsessed by. This job isn't quite how I thought it was portrayed as well as the people side.
I also count a lot in my head, memorize odd facts and patterns, ahve a strange imagination system that I've never heard anyone else have and am just well... odd.
I also get depressed easily and sink into a situation which is similar to how people describe a panic attack.
I have had help from my mum a lot despite appearing very independant but she is under a lot of unfortunate pressure at the moment (she has been for a long time).
I am aware lots of people are in a far worse situation but if this can be resolved, even partly, I think it would transform me - I do have some things to offer (like my memory) but working with others particularly younger people seems to stop me.
Any replies appreciated - even those who say 'In my day you would have just been a bit thick or weird - man up'.
I am a member, I've been on for years. Please take this as proof: Custard, MX-5, 335d mapped, Petrol Ted,Photoshop Wheelie Girl, Nazi Bunker, All hail the glorius JAYB, Chassis was a troll with his Uncle Ali a few years ago with the Ferrari Punto. I am a car enthusiast: Gudgeon Pin, Crankshaft, Double wishbones, TVR (Trevor) Wedge, Bentleys at Le Mans in the twenties, Mini introduced in 1959, Land Rover introduced by Rover in 1948.
I think I have a problem:
I think I might have Aspergers which is affecting me too much in day to day life. I was bullied/ picked on at school from the age of 6 more or less every year until I left just over a year ago. I have quite specific interests mostly fitting into what you might expect for someone with the condition. I have never had many friends and although I can operate well in social situations, I always need to escape as I really struggle after a short period of time. I got on extremely well with a close family member but have been suffering TBH since I lost him a couple of years ago.
I can do normal things like go to shop but sometimes have to get out quite quickly if it's busy in a supermarket and if I go to the shops on my own I have to be on a mission to do something.
I hated school like nothing else - the other pupils mostly, but also the teachers and the way it was structured. I was always on my own/ last to be picked for a group activity and only had one real friend, some other I would talk to in a lesson occasionaly and a friend I gained in the second to last year.
I do have the occasional outburst as frustration gets the better of me, but these are 95% at home - I clamp down on myself when outside the home. I know things that others in a situation haven't grasped but can't explain it to them or worse, they won't let me. I can be 'sociably awkward'.
I left school at the summer before I turned 16 (Just over a year ago) to pursue something I enjoy but to be honest it hasn't worked out. I can't deal very well with people my own age for long periods if it's the same people. So in the apprenticeship I've worked with others but they don't like working with me - I'm not rude IMO and I don't say nasty things to them and I rarely say things they're not interested in at all, I don't recite a load of obscure facts to them. They have explained that I'm just not good at working with others. I feel this is picked up too much - wherever I work with people new (within the organisation) I'm not liked by the younger peol;e (under 25). I don't particulalry like owrking with them either.
Having to fullfill criteria is getting the better of me - I'm struggling to hack it, and I have a huge issue interpreting people verbally - I use my mum a lot for this. Due to a problem recently (an unfortunate outside influence) I've had time to consider all of this and I think I'm going to need a job where I don't work with others and am not really part of a closely knitted team unless it's for simple tasks or in an area I am obsessed by. This job isn't quite how I thought it was portrayed as well as the people side.
I also count a lot in my head, memorize odd facts and patterns, ahve a strange imagination system that I've never heard anyone else have and am just well... odd.
I also get depressed easily and sink into a situation which is similar to how people describe a panic attack.
I have had help from my mum a lot despite appearing very independant but she is under a lot of unfortunate pressure at the moment (she has been for a long time).
I am aware lots of people are in a far worse situation but if this can be resolved, even partly, I think it would transform me - I do have some things to offer (like my memory) but working with others particularly younger people seems to stop me.
Any replies appreciated - even those who say 'In my day you would have just been a bit thick or weird - man up'.
steveT350C said:
Hi,
I have read your post, and not quite sure what it is you are asking.
Are you after some careers advice?
Actually I don't know. I suppose I am really, and also I just wondered if anyone cared to share relevant stories of their own - I have done a search and read a lot of others on here though..I have read your post, and not quite sure what it is you are asking.
Are you after some careers advice?
I forgot to add that I wondered whether people think it would be worth going to see about a possible diagnoses now that I have left school.
It is always worth going to speak with GP. If it turns out that you do have a mild form of Aspergers (Aspergers in turn is on the mild end of the autism spectrum) then that may provide some relief in realising that you are not alone or odd.
I have worked with young adults with Aspergers, from what you have said you may have a mild form, but as I said, go see GP.
With regards to carrier advice, the plumber I use has Aspergers. He likes his job because apart from briefly talking to me about work to do, either in person or on the phone, he gets on with the job with just himself for company. He also likes the problem solving nature of the job and as he is self employed does all his own tax returns; he is good with numbers too.
I have worked with young adults with Aspergers, from what you have said you may have a mild form, but as I said, go see GP.
With regards to carrier advice, the plumber I use has Aspergers. He likes his job because apart from briefly talking to me about work to do, either in person or on the phone, he gets on with the job with just himself for company. He also likes the problem solving nature of the job and as he is self employed does all his own tax returns; he is good with numbers too.
It sounds like you're fairly self-aware of your issues, relating to what could potentially be Aspergers.
So why not work on them? If you're awkward socially, work on it. Try and be better. Learn from others. If you struggle in groups, talk to people - find out what puts them off you and work on those things.
It seems to me from your post like you've interpreted who you are and what you're like, pinned it on Aspergers and decided that you have to work your life around it.
This seems like nonsense. You just have to work to your strengths and work very, very hard on your weaknesses.
Like any disability you can either let it restrict you, or make the most of it.
So why not work on them? If you're awkward socially, work on it. Try and be better. Learn from others. If you struggle in groups, talk to people - find out what puts them off you and work on those things.
It seems to me from your post like you've interpreted who you are and what you're like, pinned it on Aspergers and decided that you have to work your life around it.
This seems like nonsense. You just have to work to your strengths and work very, very hard on your weaknesses.
Like any disability you can either let it restrict you, or make the most of it.
Your not alone. I had problems for many years. It gets easier with experience/age trust me on that.
As has been said you need to work on yourself, life is about developing yourself and personal growth, take it one step at a time, find something in your life you want to improve and get outside your comfort zone and try to do it. Dont push yourself too hard though.
For the things you find difficult you need to find coping mechanisms, for me sometimes shopping is a problem (sensory overload) so I just pop in a set of headphones and listen too my favourite tunes while doing it to drown out the plafora of noise. Eye contact is also be challenging, so at work I always have a notepad and pen so i can look at the paper and take notes.
Going a bit deeper into aspergers, for me its not a 'disease' or 'problem' its a positive in my life, knowing that its my brain neurology that is making me think the way I do and that its part of my personality has gone a long way to helping me understand myself and the human condition, having aspergers does have some awesome positives (high mechanical aptitude, attention to detail, loyalty etc) too and as with anything in life you should always play to your strengths the first step is understanding your strength and how to minimise the effect of your weakness's.
Stay positive.
I hope that helps
As has been said you need to work on yourself, life is about developing yourself and personal growth, take it one step at a time, find something in your life you want to improve and get outside your comfort zone and try to do it. Dont push yourself too hard though.
For the things you find difficult you need to find coping mechanisms, for me sometimes shopping is a problem (sensory overload) so I just pop in a set of headphones and listen too my favourite tunes while doing it to drown out the plafora of noise. Eye contact is also be challenging, so at work I always have a notepad and pen so i can look at the paper and take notes.
Going a bit deeper into aspergers, for me its not a 'disease' or 'problem' its a positive in my life, knowing that its my brain neurology that is making me think the way I do and that its part of my personality has gone a long way to helping me understand myself and the human condition, having aspergers does have some awesome positives (high mechanical aptitude, attention to detail, loyalty etc) too and as with anything in life you should always play to your strengths the first step is understanding your strength and how to minimise the effect of your weakness's.
Stay positive.
I hope that helps
As above, address each issue (or seek the help of a therapist to do so).
I am thinking I'm "on the spectrum" now. I was always picked last for football, for instance. Then again, it could be that I was s
t at football.
Alex said:
Get yourself diagnosed with Asperger's, then you can use it as an excuse until you die.
Or you could get on with it and make the most of your life instead.
Or you could get on with it and make the most of your life instead.
I am thinking I'm "on the spectrum" now. I was always picked last for football, for instance. Then again, it could be that I was s
t at football.Gassing Station | Health Matters | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff