My ex refusing me to see my kids
Discussion
Hi, just hoping someone could advice me how to go about this. I separated from my wife 8 months ago and i havent seen my kid since. I pay over £500 a month on maintainance through the csa. She contacted the csa a day after i moved out and despite me trying to solve maintainace money without csa , she didnt want to know. She has also taken a non molestation order so am not allowed near my house. She accused me of violence and lied all the way to court but the jury saw through her lies and i was acquainted. At the moment i cant afford a lawyer but am also not qualifing for legal aid tho ave applied just waiting. Any advive much appreciated. Thanks
Beshty
This if feel is a very hard subject for most people to air there opinion and views in public and i may
suggest that although many people (blokes) in your situation would love to talk about the subject but
feel it not correct to talk over the net.
However braver and probably more stupid than most, i will give you the sinario i was faced with 10 years ago.
The first thing you might want to ask yourself is do you want the children? how much do you want them?
do you want Parental control or do you just want to be a McDonald Dad and wizz them out in the car once in a while, or do you just equally want to get at your ex partner !!
The situation 10 yrs ago for me was i wanted out of my marriage simply because it was not working (2 totally different people) we had been together 20 years but we had massive differences. firstly i had the advantage of somewhere to go (a spare house i owned) so i set the house up for each of the 2 children to have there own bedrooms at my place and there wardrobes full of there gear,
I must stress at this point there was not another woman i just purely wanted out, it took me 3 years to pluck up the courage to leave, but once i did it was like a rope off my neck.
Now the trouble begins, the one left behind always feels bitterness so as you say in your thread they
will try everything to poison the children, friends and family against you.
I new i wanted my children, they are based in the north of the Country and i was doing great business in the South, so a choice had to be made, i had to sacrfice the Business because i wanted my children full time.
I assume you do not have any record against you that would prevent you from seeing your children, i contacted the CSA, informed them of my address they intern wanted me to pass £400 a month to the
mother, i fought this suggesting that i have equal rights and the children would stay with me
Wednesday, Thursday one week and Wednesday Thursday friday the next, now you have to think about the next bit carefully, because looking after children is not easy, so if your not committed don't push the buttons, The CSA worked out that i would only have to pay my ex £200pcm as i was providing an equal home
for the children including ironing washing and feeding them.
More to the point the CSA praised me and informed my ex she would have to agree this as there was no proof i was not capable of looking after them as well as she could.
The children were 12 and 8 yrs at the time, now 23 and 19 my son works every day in the family business
with me and my 19 daughter see's me twice a week or when she needs money, still to this day although the oldest has his own flat and the daughter in the main lives with her Mum, they still have there own room here and they still have a key to walk in and out as they please.
The children i believe (i am sure there mam still doesnt) have a great life and love equally both of there parents.
hope this helps and i hope you work things out Good Luck
This if feel is a very hard subject for most people to air there opinion and views in public and i may
suggest that although many people (blokes) in your situation would love to talk about the subject but
feel it not correct to talk over the net.
However braver and probably more stupid than most, i will give you the sinario i was faced with 10 years ago.
The first thing you might want to ask yourself is do you want the children? how much do you want them?
do you want Parental control or do you just want to be a McDonald Dad and wizz them out in the car once in a while, or do you just equally want to get at your ex partner !!
The situation 10 yrs ago for me was i wanted out of my marriage simply because it was not working (2 totally different people) we had been together 20 years but we had massive differences. firstly i had the advantage of somewhere to go (a spare house i owned) so i set the house up for each of the 2 children to have there own bedrooms at my place and there wardrobes full of there gear,
I must stress at this point there was not another woman i just purely wanted out, it took me 3 years to pluck up the courage to leave, but once i did it was like a rope off my neck.
Now the trouble begins, the one left behind always feels bitterness so as you say in your thread they
will try everything to poison the children, friends and family against you.
I new i wanted my children, they are based in the north of the Country and i was doing great business in the South, so a choice had to be made, i had to sacrfice the Business because i wanted my children full time.
I assume you do not have any record against you that would prevent you from seeing your children, i contacted the CSA, informed them of my address they intern wanted me to pass £400 a month to the
mother, i fought this suggesting that i have equal rights and the children would stay with me
Wednesday, Thursday one week and Wednesday Thursday friday the next, now you have to think about the next bit carefully, because looking after children is not easy, so if your not committed don't push the buttons, The CSA worked out that i would only have to pay my ex £200pcm as i was providing an equal home
for the children including ironing washing and feeding them.
More to the point the CSA praised me and informed my ex she would have to agree this as there was no proof i was not capable of looking after them as well as she could.
The children were 12 and 8 yrs at the time, now 23 and 19 my son works every day in the family business
with me and my 19 daughter see's me twice a week or when she needs money, still to this day although the oldest has his own flat and the daughter in the main lives with her Mum, they still have there own room here and they still have a key to walk in and out as they please.
The children i believe (i am sure there mam still doesnt) have a great life and love equally both of there parents.
hope this helps and i hope you work things out Good Luck
Reminds me of when I was young and living with my mum. Every week, the upheaval of having to pack, remember all my clothes, school books etc. to have to visit the other parent for the week, only to have them criticise the other parent the whole time we were there!
Still, I think it made me more determined to settle down and buy my own house as soon as I could!
Still, I think it made me more determined to settle down and buy my own house as soon as I could!
danyeates said:
Reminds me of when I was young and living with my mum. Every week, the upheaval of having to pack, remember all my clothes, school books etc. to have to visit the other parent for the week, only to have them criticise the other parent the whole time we were there!
Still, I think it made me more determined to settle down and buy my own house as soon as I could!
a close friend of mine lived through his full teenage life with both his parents living in the same house but seperated, he always proclaims it was a living hell, having to choose who to eat dinner with and spend the eveing with. although he was fully aware of the situation his parents performed the pretence that they were a couple, he still remains firm on his opinion that he wishes they had split and lived seperately.Still, I think it made me more determined to settle down and buy my own house as soon as I could!
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