How to stop worrying
Discussion
This sounds a bit daft but all of my life, if I have something to worry about, I cannot stop thinking about it. So recently a close family member was very unwell and it totally took over my thoughts to the extent where it would wake me up constantly. I know its pointless worrying but I cant seem to stop it. Its beginning to drive me crazy because every time I think I no longer have something to worry about, something else turns up. I can be talking to people and at the back of back of my mind are the constant worrying nagging thoughts. I always think the worst is going to happen and its exhausting. Is anyone able to suggest things I can do to stop these constant thoughts? Its almost like if I tell myself I can't worry then that means bad things will happen. Thanks for reading.
My OH was/is a dreadful worrier. The slightest thing would have him constantly worring (unnecessarily at times on inconsequential things) so much that he was losing sleep. It was finally driving me mad and stopping me sleeping too so I suggested he went to his GP with a view to either hynotherapy or counselling or such like. The GP was great she listened and agreed that something needed to be done. She would have refered him for counselling but the waiting list is huge and she felt he needed help now rather than months down the line. So she has prescribed him a low dose of citalapram (antidepressant). After just a few weeks on this I have seen a vast improvement in him, and he has noticed a big difference too, and he is finally sleeping properly again. Don't get me wrong, he does still worry, but it is for genuine reasons now and it does not overpower him.
My advice is that if your worring is consuming you then you really need to take some action, and your first steps would be to talk to an understanding GP. Hope you get some help.
My advice is that if your worring is consuming you then you really need to take some action, and your first steps would be to talk to an understanding GP. Hope you get some help.
I have been exactly the same as you, right up to ending up suffering a full blown panic attack which led me to me getting medical attention. What you describe, and I suffered, is a symptom of stress/anxiety. I ended up taking some stress management courses and some counselling and thankfully I am now completely different, I still find myself worrying but I now know how to deal with it using the techniques I have been taught.
There are plenty of self-help books (I found 'The Anxiety Toolbox' quite useful) and I think there are stress management courses/workshops that you might be able to get yourself onto. Basically you need to learn to relax fully and you should find that the worrying will ease.
I managed without any medication but as has already been pointed out that will work for some people.
Good luck.
There are plenty of self-help books (I found 'The Anxiety Toolbox' quite useful) and I think there are stress management courses/workshops that you might be able to get yourself onto. Basically you need to learn to relax fully and you should find that the worrying will ease.
I managed without any medication but as has already been pointed out that will work for some people.
Good luck.
Rotaree said:
There are plenty of self-help books (I found 'The Anxiety Toolbox' quite useful) and I think there are stress management courses/workshops that you might be able to get yourself onto. Basically you need to learn to relax fully and you should find that the worrying will ease.
Good point. My OH did try books and CD's to try and get him out of the worrying cycle, but unfortunately they didn't work for him, but I agree that it is definitely worth a try as they do work for some.In the past I'd worry quite a bit , I then broke it down into 2 categories
Things I could physically change / solve / rectify
Things that I couldn't physically change / solve / rectify
The former I eventually accepted no amount of worrying would alter the outcome so I concentrated on the latter.
Regarding the latter , I'd soon realised as I could affect the outcome , what the best action / outcome would be .
Worrying turned into problem solving , solved problems became a form of relief , so as the old saying goes , there are no problems , only solutions .
A cliché I know but really concentrating on things you can change rather than those you can't is much less depressing
Things I could physically change / solve / rectify
Things that I couldn't physically change / solve / rectify
The former I eventually accepted no amount of worrying would alter the outcome so I concentrated on the latter.
Regarding the latter , I'd soon realised as I could affect the outcome , what the best action / outcome would be .
Worrying turned into problem solving , solved problems became a form of relief , so as the old saying goes , there are no problems , only solutions .
A cliché I know but really concentrating on things you can change rather than those you can't is much less depressing
I used to be able to worry and fret for England. To some extent I still find myself doing it but I catch myself and try to stop. I think it's a natural human reaction but is easy to let it get out of hand
I may get some abuse for this but I found this book helped - it is a bit new agey, but it's central message is sound: try to live "in the moment" and not fret about things that have already happened (they're done) or may happen in the future.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Power-Now-Guide-Spiritual-Enlightenment/dp/0340733500
I see Allen Carr has a book about quitting worrying. I haven't read it, but his give up drinking book worked wonders for me, so that may be worth a read.
I would try one or both of these books before deciding whether to go to your GP
I may get some abuse for this but I found this book helped - it is a bit new agey, but it's central message is sound: try to live "in the moment" and not fret about things that have already happened (they're done) or may happen in the future.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Power-Now-Guide-Spiritual-Enlightenment/dp/0340733500
I see Allen Carr has a book about quitting worrying. I haven't read it, but his give up drinking book worked wonders for me, so that may be worth a read.
I would try one or both of these books before deciding whether to go to your GP
Thanks for the replies. Its nice to know that I am not alone with this sort of thing. I have tried not to worry about things I can't change but then I spend ages obsessing over how I would react if the situation moved in a particular direction. I'll have a look at the books and links and try that approach first.
Driller said:
Do what I do: Look up at the moon and the stars and you'll see that it really, really doesn't matter 
There's more truth to this than you'd 
I spend a lot of time in the Scottish highlands, and sitting outside in proper darkness, watching the stars really does lend a huge sense of perspective on things.
ApexJimi said:
There's more truth to this than you'd
I spend a lot of time in the Scottish highlands, and sitting outside in proper darkness, watching the stars really does lend a huge sense of perspective on things.
I only have suburb half darkness to get my perspective with but once went hiking in Corsica and had a good old stare one night. The contrast and depth of the galaxy seemed "syrupy" somehow, just amazing and what you must experience there on a regular basis. Lucky fella I spend a lot of time in the Scottish highlands, and sitting outside in proper darkness, watching the stars really does lend a huge sense of perspective on things.
Serious question to the OP: do you want to stop worrying?
If worrying isn't having an overly negative effect on your life, then why change?
I'm guessing that you're a sensitive, caring human being, and that 'worrying' is all part and parcel of who you are.
However if it's getting to the point where your thoughts are continually trapped in 'gloom loops' you can't get out of and/or you're getting panic attacks, then seek help.
If not, don't 'worry' about it. Pardon the pun.
If worrying isn't having an overly negative effect on your life, then why change?
I'm guessing that you're a sensitive, caring human being, and that 'worrying' is all part and parcel of who you are.
However if it's getting to the point where your thoughts are continually trapped in 'gloom loops' you can't get out of and/or you're getting panic attacks, then seek help.
If not, don't 'worry' about it. Pardon the pun.
R60EST said:
In the past I'd worry quite a bit , I then broke it down into 2 categories
Things I could physically change / solve / rectify
Things that I couldn't physically change / solve / rectify
The former I eventually accepted no amount of worrying would alter the outcome so I concentrated on the latter.
Regarding the latter , I'd soon realised as I could affect the outcome , what the best action / outcome would be .
Worrying turned into problem solving , solved problems became a form of relief , so as the old saying goes , there are no problems , only solutions .
A cliché I know but really concentrating on things you can change rather than those you can't is much less depressing
Have you got those the right way round?Things I could physically change / solve / rectify
Things that I couldn't physically change / solve / rectify
The former I eventually accepted no amount of worrying would alter the outcome so I concentrated on the latter.
Regarding the latter , I'd soon realised as I could affect the outcome , what the best action / outcome would be .
Worrying turned into problem solving , solved problems became a form of relief , so as the old saying goes , there are no problems , only solutions .
A cliché I know but really concentrating on things you can change rather than those you can't is much less depressing
Been there, go there sometimes still.
I think it's all to do with brain chemistry(again!) and low serotonin seems to play along. In my view, it's all the same package as OCD. There was a really interesting programme on TV recently that explained OCD behaviour as the "fear centre" of the brain being over active and not letting go of situations that aren't really dangerous.
Low serotonin makes OCD and anxiety much worse and the stress has the probable effect of further lowering it causing further "gloom loops" (great phrase MC!) hence the Doc's treatment with an anti-depressant mentioned earlier.
You could try St Johns Wort for a couple of months(please read up on the side effects if you have any underlying conditions or medication), is the worrying worse in the winter?
A really good thing is to realise worrying doesn't actually affect most events - learn this and life can become a lot more relaxed. Tell your head that bedtime is the time to sleep, it can all wait until the morning and you'll sort stuff then. Keep doing this and you will train yourself to let it go and sleep much better.
I think it's all to do with brain chemistry(again!) and low serotonin seems to play along. In my view, it's all the same package as OCD. There was a really interesting programme on TV recently that explained OCD behaviour as the "fear centre" of the brain being over active and not letting go of situations that aren't really dangerous.
Low serotonin makes OCD and anxiety much worse and the stress has the probable effect of further lowering it causing further "gloom loops" (great phrase MC!) hence the Doc's treatment with an anti-depressant mentioned earlier.
You could try St Johns Wort for a couple of months(please read up on the side effects if you have any underlying conditions or medication), is the worrying worse in the winter?
A really good thing is to realise worrying doesn't actually affect most events - learn this and life can become a lot more relaxed. Tell your head that bedtime is the time to sleep, it can all wait until the morning and you'll sort stuff then. Keep doing this and you will train yourself to let it go and sleep much better.
Edited by tonyvid on Wednesday 31st October 10:58
nick s said:
How can people worry so much about things?!? What sort of things are you worrying about, as i can't imagine?
If you've never experienced the circular worries, count yourself lucky! I was going to say it's not a choice but it is in someways if you can find a way of dealing with the constant round of neverending thoughts.It's extremely exhausting with the brain running full speed all the time.
Pothole said:
R60EST said:
In the past I'd worry quite a bit , I then broke it down into 2 categories
Things I could physically change / solve / rectify
Things that I couldn't physically change / solve / rectify
The former I eventually accepted no amount of worrying would alter the outcome so I concentrated on the latter.
Regarding the latter , I'd soon realised as I could affect the outcome , what the best action / outcome would be .
Worrying turned into problem solving , solved problems became a form of relief , so as the old saying goes , there are no problems , only solutions .
A cliché I know but really concentrating on things you can change rather than those you can't is much less depressing
Have you got those the right way round?Things I could physically change / solve / rectify
Things that I couldn't physically change / solve / rectify
The former I eventually accepted no amount of worrying would alter the outcome so I concentrated on the latter.
Regarding the latter , I'd soon realised as I could affect the outcome , what the best action / outcome would be .
Worrying turned into problem solving , solved problems became a form of relief , so as the old saying goes , there are no problems , only solutions .
A cliché I know but really concentrating on things you can change rather than those you can't is much less depressing
I replied earlier but I've just thought of something else that helps - exercise. You don't need to go mad as that can bring on its own problems if you start to obsess but a half hour run or cycle or something every couple of days can make a difference.. I try to cycle to work two or three times a week and I sleep better and feel more relaxed if I manage to achieve it.
I read a self help book on this because of rumination. I learned about negative re-inforcement and obsessive thoughts (non suicidal), worry and guilt. There's some really really good lessons and practical tests you can try - a lot of it is based around understanding that you've learned to think this way, and you can unlearn that and learn new ways. Guilt is focus on the past, worry is focus on what might happen in the future
Check out Your Erroneous Zones for a start if self help is your thing
Check out Your Erroneous Zones for a start if self help is your thing
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